Conscious Love and Living

My Feet Hurt

2011-10-27T11:54:00.000-07:00

MmMMmmM savor the quiet still moment!

My goodness! Things sure have sprouted since the last time I shared. I feel like a changed person. The Katie I was 2 weeks ago, is dead. Death and rebirth is the theme of this life. Seasonal shifts, physical shifts, mind shifts, spiritual shifts, perceptual shifts of faith, shifts of hope, shifts of self. I can't help but want to some how express my awareness of the interconnectedness I am feeling. Never in a million years growing up, would I ever have thought I would hear myself saying this, but: Pray people! Pray. Set those hopes and dreams in motion by matter of factly asking the Universe for exactly the things you want. The things you want for yourself, for your family, the planet. Its a BIG DEAL. You don't need to know the HOWS, just ask. If you live willy nilly, and never hone those desires with some serious slowing down, and quiet contemplation with Intention, then that is exactly what your life will be, willy nilly. These sort of ideas prove themselves to me again and again as I age, and tap into everything that is. How can someone not one time in their life stop and honor the breath that gives them life, or stop to think how divine the entire design is, and how short of a window we have to experience it? There is so much more happening that people shut down to. The imagination births your very life, and holds sacred the unfolding of your soul. YOUR MIND IS FANTASTIC! The power and energy that each soul has here together is crazy!!! Step one, get praying that everyone can wake up and start manifesting fully as the One power we are. =)

Golly. Its fun how fast winter is moving in here the Pacific North West. I kind of like the shock and awe that it brings to the public. The weather never ceases to amaze and surprise me in good ways every year. As much of a planner as I like to be, the weather is something I wake up to, not something I think about too often. I'm already trying to focus my beaming mind power on more important things than rain or sun. heh

So the big New Season's Market update!: =)

Everything is going awesome! I am truly loving it, and coming home with big smiles! I have lots to say about it but will keep it short for now, because honestly, my brain is infected with New Seasons thought currently, and I am working hard at focusing my mind in the opposite direction. Ive gotta meld and bend my NS thoughts to flow with all the rest of the stuff up there in my brain. I had 5 weeks off to quiet my mind, and now its really being put to the test. A good example is at night when I lay down to go to bed after work. I can let PLU codes, and new faces, and fruits, and veggies fly through my mind at warp speed, pulling me in a thousand different directions, but instead I breathe, I focus, and let things come and pass quickly, until I give myself permission to close for the night. If I didn't sit and meditate whenever I get a chance, and breathe, Breathe, BREATHE, the task of quieting the mind would not be so easy. I would be up half the night, never fully asleep, and then beating up on myself the next day for being tired, and not working to my potential. We must use the tools we are given people, and take action! Don't play the "victim" as the juxtaposition to your minds potential.

During the last 2 weeks of meetings including 6 days strait of training/working I was not able to get into a Yoga class at Shanti. I didn't avoid getting into my asana at home of course, but dearly missed the Kula! I finally was able to get into a class, which happened to be subbed by Jerri, whom I have come to adore as a Yoga teacher because of her extensive Dance background and the way she teaches, a couple days ago. It brings me back to highschool dance classes, and leaves me nostalgically pleased. I especially like how she is always reminding us to thank the body part that is holding tension, or hurts, or just wont give in. To thank that part of your body for being with you, and supporting you during all those special times, all those activities you have done together over your life time. I absolutely LOVE this idea, because naturally, until she said that, there was a little voice in me shunning those body parts for not being more limber, and less sore. That love juice we send to that area changes everything. Its like your ankle, hip, neck, is a little brand new baby, and you cuddle it, and love it so tenderly, until its cooing and giggling with joy.
It was a great class, with only about 6 or 7 people tops. The sun was shining beautifully through the windows, and the trees looking in have all started to turn their fiery oranges and yellows. Oh boy, if those trees could talk!! It was perfect. I just needed to be there. We talked about compassion for ourselves, and how it is the gateway to having compassion for others. She gave an example to start small and thank yourself for making some tea, to thank yourself for making the bed, because you like to come home to it. Just give yourself thanks for the every day, until its happening without trying.

Our asana was strong and simple, and never done with out a reminder of our cores. I had a releasing moment of tears about half way through the practice. We were standing in mountain pose, and the sun shone just right on my face, and the pull on my neck was just so, I think it was tugging at my heart strings. I began to weep. I actually had to bring it in, because that was the closest to loosing it like a blubber baby I have ever come in class. Its not the fear of what others would think, as much as the interruption it would create that I don't let go fully. I tend to do most of my practicing with my eyes closed, so Im not sure if Jerri saw me crying or not, but it was like the moment was tailored to me. Slowed down, a restful moment, for me to find my breath, and my calm. I could feel myself wondering for the root of this teary interlude, but the thought was like a pin ball that bounced from one idea to the next, each one holding its own power, ranging in sadness to pure ecstasy. I came to a restful stop on the frequency of love without reason. Life. The class ended quicker than I would have liked, and it was one of the only times I might have been close to the realm of sleep during my Savasana. It felt so good, I could have laid there until the world ended.

Ahhhwww soo much to share, but it is 11 am and time I got off to daily house chores and get ready for work.

I did want to share though, that happiness you have never known before is out there hiding! Happiness you could never name, nor put a description on, is out there in the ugly, rough, tough, wild, world of experience. Go and find it!

"We loved with a love that was more than love. "

~Edgar Allan Poe

The Energy on The Winds has Changed

2011-10-17T16:09:00.000-07:00

(yawwwwwwwn)

(more yawns)

A little update:
I went to the New Seasons home office again last Monday, to do some final paperwork before orientation. It was with the same woman Angela, and she will be the manager of cashiers at the new store. We went into an office this time (the weird NS home office is a lot bigger than it looks), and she seemed to be in a different mood entirely. She was more friendly, and appeared to be a lot more focused. I felt her "seeing me" a bit more this time. (I'm pretty sure if I had not been so persistent with my calls, I wouldn't have got the job) She said a few times, you are my laaaaast one!
I was hired as a temp along with, I want to say she said 30 other people? No doubt New Seasons' sneaky way of not paying insurance, and weeding through the people they chose at the job fair a little more. Makes sense, since they don't check references, and with no set hours, if you suck they can say that more hours aren't available. I just say sneaky because there would not have been 1,600 people at the job fair if they had also said it was for 3 month temporary positions. I still would have been there though. =P
Either way....I'm in for now! Someone recently reminded me that you get unemployment after a temp job, so if they don't hire me on at the end of my time, there's a little help in the finance department until I do get another job. That's good news.
My orientation is this Wednesday from 9-5. And then I am training at the Happy Valley store in Oregon starting the very next day. Its a trek, but I like the more out in the open, parking lot out front, kind of vibe, better than right in the middle of the city, with street parking and such. So it works for me. I'm training with a dude named Senika (spell check that one!) who actually lives ridiculously close to me. If hes not a creeper and we ever work at the same time we could car pool. He sounds pretty bubbly and nice. I was trying to imagine what he might look like. The name gives me the picture in my mind of a tall skinny black guy, with perfect skin, very manicured facial and dome hair, and a charming smile. But his voice on the phone was pretty Magoo. So now the picture in my mind has changed to somewhat of a mystery. White, tall (its a tall name), umm, and that's as far as it goes. I'm curious now. Does it matter? No. But am I weird nerd? Yes.

If anyone is wondering when the new New Seasons is opening, I was told Nov 9th! One day after my Birthday. :) So go on and get your New Seasons on! Weeeeeee

Right now the concern with my new situation is based on the Yoga 200 hour Training I was thinking about getting into. I sort of put it on the back burner, until I could get the job situation figured out. I just physically and mentally couldn't have done it in any other order. Livelihood is the main issue, not..... non paying training for future livelihood... But, it is still very important. Thinking and trying to figure out a future meld between the two has always been the goal, but I didn't count on a temporary job, that ends right about the same time training would begin. I was hoping to have a job, that would then be bendable to the training schedule, after I would be settled in. But since its like one big review, and you want to get a full time position in the end, you can't just be telling them you're only available some of the time. So, I'm still feeling frustrated, and that is of course on top of my own internal personal battles and struggles with the thought of going through the 200 hour training.
Gosh, if teacher trainings could just start any day of the week, or month, I would have so much the easier time right now, I just decided. Its tough trying to work around the times that they are starting. Not to mention at a studio I want to be at.

I'll get there.......by golly lordy I will get there....!

I forgot to mention, I am really super stoked to work at New Seasons!! Hubby said its the most excited he has ever seen me about a job. It seems like such a fun place to be, with things going on that interest me. Extreme acknowledgement of seasonal shifts. Celebration of culture, community, and the arts. Giving back to the surrounding areas, and hosting events. Organic local Foooood! =D Yay!

And hey, if there are no bumps in the road along the journey to where you are going, than there would be nothing to knock you in the ass and wake you up to the beautiful scenery along the way.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Other Thingggssssss:::

+After the last class I attended at the new studio The Yoga Tree House, I hurt myself practicing popping into a hand stand. I practice them like 20 times a day because its whimsical to watch your hands go towards the ground followed by the feeling of your legs whipping up behind you, and then to hold yourself there with strong outstretched arms perfectly balanced under your hips. I love it. Holding them longer and longer each time. By longer I mean seconds. However, I think since I was doing some new stretching with a new teacher, I didn't take that into account and while practicing hand stands the next morning, I might have over extended,or just injured something. It wasn't an instant pain, it was after practicing them about 10 minutes later. I started having these ridiculous pains as if someone was trying to slide a flat sharp blade up under my left shoulder strait up to my neck. I couldn't scramble fast enough to the corner of a wall to try and rub at it. I did eVery sequence of yoga I could think of to try and work it out. I know that I helped myself somewhat by doing so, but in general I had to wait out the injury for a few days. I couldn't lift my head fully, it looked like I was walking around in shame, hanging my head. hah

+My Birthday is coming right up. I usually get tattooed for my Bday, but this year I wasn't sure because of money, so I never made an appointment. My artist Ryan Mason books out months in advance. His blog recently said his next bookings are for early next year, but I am still going to email him and see what he has to say about the matter. :) Crossing my fingers he can squeeze me in for a little Birthday ink time. Its always so nerve racking, because I have to say goodbye to the tattoo that it was, to move on to the next phase. But I am pretty ready at this point. It will be an interesting feeling when my arm is all finished. It has certainly been a trip.

+I really want to see Body Worlds at Omsi coming up towards the end of October. I didn't get a chance to go last time it was here about 4 years ago, but had a few debates about it with a righteous christian I worked with, who was so upset about it he called the police and had a meeting with the head of Omsi. It looks wonderful! If you don't know anything about it, I suggest you also read a little about the whole program, it's really amazing.

http://www.bodyworlds.com/en.html

http://www.omsi.edu/bodyworlds

+My Dad came over this weekend and helped trim up a tree I have been wanting to take care of for years! Branch by branch, it opened up a new stream of light into my dark house. Last night I was standing in the kitchen and a sunbeam I had never met before came shooting right in to say hello. It was awesome, and made all the work worth it.

+I have been eating so much Halloween candy its retarded. Im afraid to work at New Seasons because of all the yummy snacks I am going to encounter! AHHH! I need to get my shit together and get a regime of health and exercise going on! I would like very much to not be a heffer please and thankyou.
That reminds me I should get away from this computer and off my ass!!!
Ended with a (yawwwwwwwwn)

"The hard must become habit. The habit must become easy. The easy must become beautiful." -Doug Henning

Yogi Critic

2011-10-11T11:36:00.000-07:00

I try to stay connected with the few Yoga Studios in the Vancouver area through their weekly or monthly news letters, so I can stay up to date on new events. One particular studio I have never been to, based out of Camas, owned and operated by Dana Layon, had an event called Vino and Vinyasa, on Saturdays during the summer, at a winery in Battle Ground. The teacher emailed me the details, and said she would see me there. I don't know a lot about Dana, other than she has written several little books that are, confessions of a yogi. I was interested to meet her and take the outdoor class with her. I brought a friend and it was an amazingly beautiful day. We showed up at least 15 minutes early (which is normal in the Yoga world), and there was no one to be seen, other than everyone who was setting up the wedding that was to be in the grass, instead of us. We go inside and the Rusty Grapes winery people were incredibly rude, and pretty much brushed us off awkwardly with no help. Finally, about 10 minutes late and 2 seconds away from us leaving, some girl shows up in a gigantic truck that is not at all Dana and says she is filling in. Only 2 other girls showed up to practice, not saying hi, and shooting nasty glares at me and my friend. Not at all what I'm used to after the Shanti Yoga community being so open and friendly with one another, at the front door, in the parking lot, in the bathroom, getting shoes on, getting tea, grabbing a bolster, it doesn't matter! Always friendly.
She set us up uncomfortably on a hill?? I didn't come for hot hill yoga torture! I moved down the hill to flat ground and into some tent shade (all you really need is the teachers voice once you have practiced a bit).    The teacher must have been new, as she was unorganized, and unprofessional. Not at all what I imagined in my head for some sophisticated outdoor asana, followed by wine and good conversation. She was all over the place, mispronouncing yoga names and saying, whatever it is! Laughing and getting confused at her postures and which way she was turning, talking about wanting to get back to swimming with her family. (she might have been drinking?) It was not a cohesive class to say the least. On top of it just being somewhat of a let down, the wedding party was giving us the death stare down, wondering why were intruding on their space! Walking back and forth past our asses repeatedly, and making comments, and giggling. You would be safe to assume we did not stay for the wine tasting.
So this same woman Dana, moved her studio from Camas to Vancouver recently, and planned an open house. Free to the public, class with Dana, followed by a blessing of the space, and then snacks and mingling. I was interested to get in a free class with a new teacher, new style, and to check out the space, because its one of the only other studios in my immediate area, and I like to know what offerings are out there.
You would imagine with such a major event, me being there 15 minutes early, I would not be the first one there, and also not to get there before Dana. It's just crazy to me! I walk in, and they're still setting up snacks, and rushing around (one person with those fat heeled flip flops that make the most obnoxious flap-flap sound). A woman in her early 60's was at the front desk. With no friendly welcomes she asked if I was there for the groupon, which I thought odd, since I would imagine the Grand Reopening of the business starting in 15 minutes to be the main thing on ones mind. I said no, the Grand Opening. She said there is a class going on right now, to take a seat and fill out some paper work. After that she was done with me! She didn't fill me in on where I would go, where the restroom was, what I should do with my shoes and purse. I sat quietly and waited, while 2 obese red headed boys went clomping back and forth, back and forth, in and out of the front door, from someplace in the back area. Each carrying a 40 oz can can of sugar drink. The woman at the front desk took a call loudly from Dana, who was asking her if things were done, one by one, which seemed to agitate the woman. She got off the phone quickly then proceeded to complain about Dana to the girl who had just shown up with ice. They began to slam the ice on the ground trying to break it up, and then they loudly poured it into the containers. I just couldn't believe how loud and disruptive they were being... that is until Dana showed up. Talk about noise! She came in with 4 kids, all talking at max volume including Dana, about pizza, and what they are going to do, and the snacks on the table, and this and that. There was just no way the class directly on the other side of the wall was not effected by this. Dana even made a joke about how they were probably in shavasana. Wouldn't that make you want to respect the noise levels more? People come to unwind in the evening, not to be back in the chaos.
I found it odd that she planned the Grand Reopening to start at the exact same time a class was to end. The woman teaching that class (same girl from vino vinyasa) went over about 10-15 minutes. Not the best way in my opinion to start an event, when you have brand new people showing up, and awkwardly standing in the tiny waiting space.
It was time to move into what would be the smallest space I have practiced in so far. I have a wide appreciation for what Dana is doing for the community by opening a studio, but I would have done things differently. While I was walking down the loooooong corridor to get blocks (there wasn't enough for everyone?!) I saw that she has the entire place split into 2 small yoga spaces, a kids play room, an office or two, and a bathroom. What I take issue with is the fact that she split the space into 2 small spaces. They are tiny! Even mirrors cant save you in this situation because you simply don't have room for the students. I understand you only need enough space for range of motion and a tiny mat, but its the fact that there are no windows in the space, which makes it feel incredibly boxy. I would have left it as one larger space to help with the claustrophobic feeling, or I would have figured out how to split off the front windows so some natural light was coming into the space. Maybe make the top wall into windows. Anything! It just does not feel like a space I want to practice in often. Maybe if she added some plants in the corners it would help.
   I did however enjoy Dana as a teacher. Voice is key! Silly maybe to some, but for me you must have a beautiful or captivating voice to get me at ease. Dana has this relaxed, yet energetic way of speaking. She also is fun to look at, with wild curly brown hair, and a lengthy body, and she wears her jewelry through class. She seemed to have perfect form and balance while practicing. (crazy firm perfect buns!) She talked a little too much about postures in a sort of robotic way that was boring and took away from that first moment when she presented the pose physically and we followed. The class was fairly demanding of us, and I was loving the flow we got into. Im trying to remember now, but I cant quite recall it from last week. *That makes me think I should start to write down sequences I really dig*
Overall it was a good class, but with a strange ending for sure. The invite said, class with Dana, and it was to be directly followed with the blessing of the space. Which I imagined to be some chanting, maybe lighting some candles. I wasn't sure, but I was excited to find out what something like that might look like! (I am more and more interested in spiritual rituals) So when class ended, Dana was relaxed and clearly finished with us and moving towards her stereo, but no one seemed to move. We all just sat there. Each person seemingly wondering the same thing...but wait? Blessing of the space? Grand re Opening? Dana moved towards the door into the chaotic hall way and everyone slowly began to pick up and do the same. The next class was in the hallway/front area (a bunch of 20 classes for 20 dollars groupon people) and it was loud and crazy. I wished the space well, grabbed a pita chip, and told the older woman from the front desk to tell Dana thanks for me as I shuffled into the night.

http://www.facebook.com/yogatreehousevancouver

I snagged this pic of the event off The Yoga Tree House FB.

The difference between try and triumph is a little umph. ~Author Unknown

Challenge and Choices

2011-10-08T09:47:00.000-07:00

Update Town:

My new seasons experience has been a taxing one so far. After my first interview I was called the very next day to set up a second one (exciting considering 1,600 people applied). The woman called me towards the end of Friday and I missed the call. She said to call her over the weekend on her cell phone, which I did the very next morning, and left a message. She didnt call back all weekend, so I thought for sure I would hear from her on Monday. But no. So I call the office at her extension and leave another quick message late monday afternoon, with no call back. (I wasnt even sure she had gotten the message on her cell, it had gone strait to voice mail and I know how fickle phones can be.) So Tuesday mostly goes by, and I am losing my mind. Like whats the deal.....? call me friday and then forget about me? I call the office, except an older gentlemen answers. I ask for Angela, and he said shes in a meeting but would take a message for me. I said I didnt want to be a bother, and I know how busy they are. But he said, oh no no no, don't even worry, and he would put a little note by her phone. Finally she calls me back about an hour later and we set up a second interview for the very next day in Portland at the home office.
I didn't know what I would be up against as far as traffic and parking, so my Mom offered to drive me, which took the stress out of it, and was really nice. We got there pretty early, so I just sat in the waiting area, watching all the home office people go in and out of the break room. My interview was at noon, so it was right about lunch time. There was some heavenly smells coming out of that break room!!! Most of the employees walking by gave me this silly smile, that meant they knew exactly what I was there for, while the rest of them acted too cool to even glance in my direction. That hall was their stage, and they needed to put on a show as they passed by, talking loudly about their lunch and weekend plans.
Other people came and went for interviews. Some for maintenance (a highly unprofessional somewhat tweakerish but friendly Mexican guy that just moved to the area a week ago from California), some for other things like Produce (A Russian guy named Vladimir with a really heavy accent and a blonde pony tail, giving me sexy eyes, and asking me questions). Each interviewing with the manager of that department.
Finally my turn comes up about 15 minutes late. Its incredibly cool and fresh and sunny outside, but inside the building it was too warm (heat blowing on me from piping above), and sitting in front of giant windows in the beating sun (the blinds appeared to be broken and unable to close I tried! lol) left me feeling a little clammy and irritable. My interviewer was a woman of color about 35, slightly over weight, incredibly laid back like. We left that building (thank god fresh air!) and walked to another one up some stairs. It was one big conference style room with tables and chairs, but was empty. She said sit where ever, and she needed to grab her lap top.
I sat down and did some conscious breathing while I waited. She came back over, said this is for a part time position, and we talked about the same things Forrest and I had gone over in the first interview. I tried to be as concise and honest in my answers as possible. She seemed pleased with me, and said she wanted me to meet one more person. Another woman came out about 17 years older than her or so, with greyish hair, very plain looking. I felt immediately judged by her eyes. (I thought to myself, I shouldnt have worn lip stick) I was giving her eye contact and trying to answer her questions well. She was actually kind of scary compared to anyone I had met or seen so far. ( It seemed she was already fed up with the whole interview thing) She asked about 2 questions or so regarding work history, and then it was all done. Angela explained what they do from here....it would be going into orientation, etc etc. Then she looked me strait in the eyes and said I will call you this FRIDAY or MONDAY and let you know EITHER way. She said at New Seasons they let you know why you didn't get the job and such, so you have tips grow on.
I left feeling pretty confident and excited. Only for no calls to come in on Friday, and then nothing again on Monday. BULLSHIT! That kind of behavior really makes me crazy. Kick her out and I will take her job and fucking ROCK it.
So of course I'm frustrated, hoping its because shes busy, that shes not following though I call on Tuesday and leave no message. Then again on Wednesday. While in the shower she calls me back and leaves a message. "Hey Katie, this is Angela, and its wednesday, its been a whole week, sorry about that. Give me a call when you get a chance and we can talk a little bit about second interview."
What does that mean?! If you aren't hiring me just say it in the message. Don't make me call back and play more phones games.
So of course I missed her like always by about 10 minutes, and call RIGHT back with no answer and leave a message. Beyond frustrating of course with no call back. I didn't even call on Thursday because I felt I had not got the job, since I was not a priority, and I know they were getting right into it, because the new store is opening soon. On Friday I decided it would be my last try. This time I called her cell phone, but voice mail again. I left a quick message.
A couple hours later finally I get word from her. She's clearly in Friday mode, and has a careless attitude on the phone like I don't matter. Even saying she didn't know if I got her message on Wednesday (had she checked her voice mail she would clearly see I HAD!). While shes telling me, if I'm interested, she would hire me as a temp for 3 months to cover for people when sick, she blasted out in laughter at what someone in her office had said. Totally distracted and uncaring. I found it to be incredibly rude, especially because of how crushed I was over this position she was dropping on me, with basically no hours. Part of me felt like telling her to shove the position and her lack of respect and responsibility, because I'm worth a lot more than that, but I kept up my positive and hopeful attitude and said Yes.
I got off the phone, and just sat, feeling very unworthy, and let down.

So that is where I am today on this fine Saturday morning.

I'm frustrated because I cant live willy nilly like this. I need a steady income, a regular schedule. I don't sit at home waiting for the phone to ring. Everyone is encouraging me to go for it, and I agree. But its more so financially an issue, not about pride.. I need to make money!!!! I have a house mortgage, a car payment, and all the normal bills of a regular family (minus kids). Good credit to keep up, and debt to disappear. Not to mention if I want any extra activities like Yoga classes.

gahhhhh!

I'm just heavy with thoughts I guess.

Om Shanti Shanti Shanti...........

Life....life....life......life.....life!! Yesterday I was having such a lack of control, it was making me laugh and cry. It was actually the first time I have cried in a long while. It felt like everything in me, wanted to get the hell out of me, because its so uncomfortable in there. Its the feelings that are waiting in the out skirts, that have no shape or meaning, rushing in at warp speed, dancing and screaming on top of your souls head. You dont know them well, you dont usually invite them in, but they are here. They are crazy-out-of-controllies. I have a bad case of them that need some intense Yoga. I wish I was on the silent retreat with the Yoga Kula this weekend at the Beach. It would have been nice.

(Sighhhh)
Fuck money.

Some days its like this, and some days its like that.

(strrrrrrrrrrrrrrrretch)

Silly.

Looking forward to tomorrow:
Pumpkin Patch Sauvi's Island, Mississippi Pizza, Kirtan at Bhakti (I hope), then Dexter at a friends. Woo!

"Never be afraid to sit awhile and think." -Lorraine Hansberry, A Raisin in the Sun

A Happy Camper

2011-09-24T14:09:00.000-07:00

Im in the mood to write, but am having fear that I might be in a ... snarky mood ...

Bah.... bahhhhh!

(Deeeeeeep breath innnn)

Adorable start to the morning, whilst running an errand I was passing through an area of fields and small industrial stuff and my eyes flew right over to the tiny furry fluffy lion, and then to the tiny pointy hat witch standing in a field. I thought wait, whats the date? Where am I? Whats happening? Then my eyes found the mini van, and what must be, a totally creative Mom taking pictures of the kids. A foggy, misty, but bright, background over the yellow tall grass. It made my heart throb. Maybe because I wanna be that Mom some day. Some day though, not super soon! :) I have other eggs to hatch!

So, I went to The New Seasons Job Fair Thursday. What an experience that was! It wasn't terrible, but it was overwhelming for sure. It went from 12-6, and I was there about 11:30, and had a number of 413. I was there for 4 hours, and there was probably 1,000 people in line by 1:00. It was a lot hotter than I expected and wore long sleeves. Doh! We had to stand in line out side, I want to say I was out there for about and hour and 45 or so, but don't really know because I didn't bring my phone.
Immediately the girl in front of me started to talk to me, and it never stopped. I can talk, let me tell you I cant talk! But this girl, mostly wanted to talk herself up. She was clearly talking to herself, but needed someone to be there. God happened to have chosen me as that person. I thought to myself....this is a test. This is a test by New Seasons. They have planted this girl here to test my loving kindness! I know it! I just know it! But not really...I knew she was just some young stay at home Mom that hasnt worked in 18 years, and needed to tell herself how great she was to help her confidence for this interview. She was 37 but looked 27, and had 3 kids. First impression:: her saying she didnt like spiritual yoga, and she watches a Dvd they say Namaste at the end in, to which she responds Namaste Bitch! And now her 3 year old says, give me a steak bitch. She was really challenging my chi. When we made it into the building I was happy about the air conditioning, happy I could finally pee, but mostly happy to find some solitude and a moment of quiet to really think. I sat down at a table and started to watch everyone playing with the giant balloons in the room, alas, through the masses comes the girl, telling me to come over to her table instead. She shoved some paper in my face and insisted that I color with her, even though I was politely declining (mostly because it seemed like a waste of paper because I like to spend time when I draw, and also we could be called soon). She clearly had some basic drawing skills and began without thinking, I'm guessing because shes drawn it a hundred times before, a peacock feather. How fitting. She told me what a terrible drawer she was, but then proceeded to tell me that she had had her own business doing hand made signs.
What a test!
I was thanking my Yoga teacher every 10 minutes for giving me the tools to effectively be kind and supportive, and non reactive towards this human being. Using her as my UpaGuru, to learn a lesson in what is to come with working at a grocery store. I was letting her become part of my silence and focus as well.

And hey, it worked, because I got called for a second interview the very next day. Its tough to say what will happen from here, because oh my lord I just want to be myself! New Seasons' slogan is the Friendliest Store in Town, and they strait up mean it. If they detect an iota of negativity they wont hire you. I like that idea, because it sounds like a daily training in peacefulness and servitude. I want to work with other like minded conscious individuals. I think of working at New Seasons as a huge opportunity to make friends. Which I have a hard time doing. Surface fake friendships don't do it for me. It seems to be all or nothing with me. I want to create a life style for myself, not just go through life letting things happen to me, barely getting to know people, and just working another Jay Oh Bee. I want to have a positive effect. Long term through Yoga, short term, in every way possible.

http://www.newseasonsmarket.com/

Hmmm I wore my power outfit to the first interview......what will I wear now!? Ha. =P
At the interview they were passing out gala apples (the very ones I have at home) and cookies and water and such. I thought that was cool.

Im hungry, I also havent practiced any asana today. I've really been slippin lately in that department. Like the more I want it, the further I push it away. (scratches head)

Gahhh.

I have though, been attending the Dharma and movement class, as my home class each week since the session started up at the Shanti Studio.
http://www.shantiforeveryone.com/

The first class I was skeptical, and a little bored really. During free movements when the music is blasting I just felt inhibited and non trusting. A little rusty I guess after the 2 week break. The class is not nearly long enough to get deep into the discussions as much as I would like, that is certain. The second class was a little better. I felt myself opening up a little more this time in my free movement. I feel slightly confused if I'm supposed to be just dancing or doing Asana. She would say whatever you want if I asked her I bet, but still I am feeling pressure that its supposed to be a certain way and speed. When I dance, it it COMPLETELY different than when I am doing asana. Its a performance of the soul. It truly is coming from a much more enlightened level, and I really love doing it. A release in its own way, but maybe not the same as just thrashing and moaning and grunting and letting shit out like most everyone is doing. I just dont know. I do it with my eyes closed because I get majorly distracted by everyone wildly moving around the room. Grunting loudly and letting off sounds no one has ever heard before! I literally stop dead in my tracks and stare if I open my eyes. I'm memorized, and maybe a little frightened at times. Though I get really off balance closed eyed with my off kilter intense movement. I feel like I shouldn't even be looking at anyone, like its a big No No. I really want to move off my mat, but also dont like to be watched, and it feels like you might attract some eyes if you wonder to a big open space. I dont know. Feeling a little weird I guess about it all. Unsure. I do really enjoy the journaling part. I have not ever written really, other than in this kind of form. Live Journal, Myspace Blog, Blogger. Thats it. Writing on paper, writing simple words to embody these endless feelings is pretty amazing. Thing are coming to life. Wishes and dreams. Never underestimate the power of the written word! (loud booming galactic music blip)
Im hoping next week to use some of my energy exchange classes and get some more time in. GET back into the swing of things. This past week was my flow week so its worth the wait.

(gazes over to the picture she recently got from her Mom of her and a chimpanzee at age kid unknown in a paper holster that reads : I Was Chimped. At the bottom : Rent-A-Chimp (206)523-3590, and laughs allowed)

Oh life.

Ive been watching my dear old friend Snoopy. Snoop-a-loop, Snoop Dawg, Shnoop. She came into my life around age 14-15 or so chosen from the humane society by my Mom.....She looked like a muppet that had left in the rain for 5 years. Matted, dingy, and dejected. Leave it to my mom to pick the saddest case in the joint. Her paperwork said she came from a farm, and liked farm animals. My Mom decided right away she was the dog of an elderly that had and passed and now she was ours. My parents are in Hawaii and babysitting her this bast 9 days has brought up a lot of old feelings of my teen years, spending a lot of time alone with the Snoop at home. Shes always been my Moms dog, but I often times I thought of her as my own, since we spent so much time together. A special bond, you know, but would never admit it to my Mom. Today is the last day of her staying with me. She can hardly see, and has trouble getting up or down the deck and has to be carried most days. She has trouble laying down due to the pain in her joints, and stinks something fierce, but her soul shines as her inner puppy. She has bursts of energy and runs around with a dog smile on her face, and rubs against you almost saying I love you Katie! We are friends!! In another life, we were human buddies that hung out and laughed a lot. I will miss having her with me, and absolutely cherished my time with her at my house as an adult. The cycles of life unfolding.

(sighhh)

Where does the time go! Its 1:51 on a saturday afternoon. I need to eat! And where is that husband of mine. Should be home from work any minute now.

(yawwwn)

Alright...time to tip toe out of cyber space, back down to the ground. Back to reality to decide what to do with the rest of this day!

Friday Night: Laurelwood Pumpkin Ale, and some salsa made by hubby's Mom. :)

Yesterday was the first day of Autumn.

"Delicious autumn! My very soul is wedded to it, and if I were a bird I would fly about the earth seeking the successive autumns." -George Eliot

Artwork: Maureen Older

Make Dreams a Reality

2011-09-19T14:28:00.000-07:00

The person I am this morning, is perhaps not the person I wanted to hear from, but is calling to be heard. My little thinking chin hair grew back recently, so what other choice do I have...? I rub it like a it's my wise old beard, and ponder on life. Many changes have come my way, the main one being, that I was laid off from my, crumby, no good job. It was the one time I was leaving a job involuntarily, but felt really awesome about it. Driving home with a song in my head that goes something like this:
Im Free! Im Freeeeeeeee! Im Freeeeeeeeee!!!!!!

But in all this "freedom," I find myself in quite the lull. All the fantasies I had while being at work, thinking about what I might be doing if I were not at work, are not exactly coming true. I can't help but come down on myself for not honoring this time a little better, for my inner work. Ive been incredibly lonely and uninspired most days, spending my time at home cleaning, and going through old things. A bit of purging.
I was lucky enough to do some detail cleaning at the Yoga studio to earn extra classes, because I cant afford more than one class a week. It was just good to be "home" for a couple of days, since the studio closed for a 2 week session break exactly when I was laid off. (such timing!)
I did however seem to get bitten by the autumn bug recently as we are heading into fall. Autumn is my soul. Parts of me start to come alive as the wind picks up, the first rains fall, and the leafs scatter. In a way it feels like my own soul is jumping outside of my body and stirring all of this beauty up, painting the colors of my existence, as fall. I recently spent some time creating an autumn collage. It was a good way to channel my energy, and its a free way to add to the decor at home. Budgets are tight, so I have scoured my garage and craft room in search of things to help accomplish a warm fall look in my home. Its coming together, and makes me smile.

So....whats the big news? The big deal? The new deal? The here and now?

A few weeks before I was laid off, I fell in love...

...I fell in love, with Yoga. I started to have these THIS IS IT feelings. When you KNOW you KNOW feelings. Everything bubbling up to the surface inside of me. Questions, fears, worries, and wonders. I love Yoga and know with all of my heart of hearts, that I want it to be a bigger part of my life, and I want to share it with anyone who is interested in Yoga, expanding their mind, finding God consciousness. It may be THE path, and it may be just part of the path leading me to.....more, but no matter what, it is the biggest and most powerful stepping stone I can see, and I am ready to hop on.
I began to research how one becomes more knowledgeable, or certified in the ways of Yoga. How can I go deeper? Not to mention how will this fit into my life? How can I work, keep paying my mortgage, not let my husband down, and also be able to adhere to the vigorous teacher training schedules I was finding offered out there? Was my asana even good enough? No! Do I have enough knowledge of poses? No! Was I slender enough for my Yogi to show through? No! All I could do was give myself excuses and say, maybe I will be able, and ready late next year, or even further out.
One of my biggest issues has always been seeing myself as not good enough. Everything becomes, WHEN I AM good enough. When I finally have the body I want, then life can really start. When these scars are gone I will be the woman I knew I was meant to be.
Ah! But every good Yogi knows about the power of now, just maybe not how to capture it all the time. I had to have a good kick in the pants by the Celestial powers of the Universe, in the form of losing my job.

It took a lot of serious discussion, over several days with my husband to get to a point where we agreed it was even an option for me(us) to financially afford a teacher training program. That was obviously a major part of the equation to figure out, as they don't come cheap ranging from 2,000-4,000 dollars. (which is nothing in the major scheme of things)
So now I have a Yes from my soul, a Yes from my partner..... now I just need to actually find a program that will accept me in more ways than just one.

I used the internet as my resource in researching local studios that are certified in teacher training. Unfortunately with the lack of studios in Vancouver, comes the lack of Teacher Training programs. The place I found, which I have not actually physically been to, with the most seemingly magical and extensive program, and with a style closest to Shanti, is called The Bhakti Shop in Portland OR. And when I say a style closest to Shanti, I mean a Vinyasa/Hatha practice that is intertwined in the spiritual.

The Bhakti Shop Web Page:
http://thebhaktishop.com/

The program at Bhakti is $2,745. This includes: All core required curriculum, Laughing Lotus Weekend Immersion, 3-night retreat to Breitenbush Hot Springs, and materials for the course.

Program:
http://thebhaktishop.com/yogacollege.htm

So here I am.....I know all the details, I want to do it, but am riddled with fear. I am afraid I am going to go get the application, fill it out, and they are going to tell me Im not advanced enough. That I dont fit the criteria and requirements.

Fear sucks. Fuck you fear. (tight lipped vibes shooting out)

So......perhaps thats what this blog is about. Had to write so I can see right in front of my face, my fear. So I can over come it and go check out some Bhakti classes, and get that application filled out, and hop onto my stepping stone. God couldn't get any more agressive with the signs of my good work to come, and how majorly important it will be for the planet. Everything I have been waiting for, everything I knew I was meant to be, is right now. (soul claps)

There is of course oceans of things and thoughts happening since the last time I blogged, but this for now, is where I am in public reflection.

And there is but one chant that has entered my head and hasnt left::

Om Gum Ganapatayei Namaha

-Salutations to the remover of obstacles

When we chanted this 108 times (my first time) at the Kundalini Explosion work shop it did not stick with me or seem to effect me, but recently, which is completely unweirdly Ganeshas Birthday, I have had Om Gum Ganapatayei Namaha, stuck in my head, and cannot get it out. I find my self whispering it, without being cued. And at my first class back to the Shanti what did we chant, but the chant of Ganesha 108 times! Everything is always unfolding uniquely to me, yet for everyone else a the same time. Its amazing.

Something I will share.... I was trying to share with hubby the other night about what God is for me.....because....how does one explain it in a logical way how you see God? But I have found an easy way to explain it on an avenue to understanding a little better. There are so many connections in life. What many people like to call dejavu, or miracles.... these moments where everything sort of stops, yet reads like you yourself made it happen, or lived it before, or have glimpses into what look like infinite options of the same moment, like its paused yet changing. When you open yourself up to these moments, these very important connections you are seeing from your own perspective of consciousness, the more you can, and will see of these moments. Almost like they are moments of conversing with God from your mind and discussing everything all at once. What is happening, what you are learning, how you are evolving, what next. God is the connection that leads you from one moment or experience to the next. And those gaps between moments get smaller and smaller, and "God" gets bigger and bigger, in essence to your everyday consciousness, once you allow it, until that conversation with God is constant, and you are co creating your life, and the planet. In Yoga, or specifically asana on the mat, we read these moments between poses the same. That's why so many find a spiritual connection on their mat, because you open up your consciousness, or conversation with god, with movement, and release old patterns with new ones. Renounce, renounce, renounce. Empty that cup, so you can fill it up to the brim with Love.

And of course this is easier said than done. Its painful, its life changing. A lot of old STUFF comes up, and needs to be released. Which Yoga gives us the tools to do so, along with an amazing earth based diet. Its no easy task to pave the path to enlightenment, luckily others have already gone down that road, and we can learn from them, and follow in their foot steps.

“Our whole spiritual transformation brings us to the point where we realize that in our own being, we are enough.”
― Ram Dass

“Working on our own consciousness is the most important thing that we are doing at any moment, and being love is a supreme creative act.”
― Ram Dass

From this Breath Until the Last

2011-06-16T15:09:00.000-07:00

I should have wrote yesterday. It was a full moon eclipse in Sagittarius, my rising sign. I was feeling empowered, I was feeling intense, I was feeling excited, I was feeling over the top with energy, but today... today I feel like... a hot mess. I'm goofy, happy, bothered, and confused all at the same time.
oof. (Falls back and gurgles in the chair)

Okay enough of that, onward and upwards.

I always feel like I say its been while, but it has been a while since my last update. Life has been quite good, like the spring/summer time that's upon us, with color and beauty popping up every where you look. That has been my reality, lots of color and beauty sprouting up, every which way in my life, in friendship, in love, and just in general inspiration.
I'm having these epiphanies of my future, and my new path, I believe is in what I would call the Healthy Arts. Yoga, meditation, nutrition, spirituality, visual arts, astrology, communication. All of the things I Love in my life, and feel passionate about, I want to somehow embrace them in a way of service. I want to take steps forward towards my intention for living.
We have been talking a lot in class about what we do from our first breath, to our last, which is empowering, and moves me to take action right now. Though... I have to admit, I have had some nervous anxiety creep up, and started to bite my nails again! Which is weird and sucks. I just need to slap some polish on there so I think about it when I reach to chomp at my hand!

I had some exceptional classes last session at the Shanti, as always. I have become awakened to consciously staying with the moment of clarity and stability more than ever! Its hard to explain, but when we aren't flickering our mind, when we aren't thinking about every little thing in life, and jumping from the last moment to the next moment, and so on, we can fiercely hold that single stable moment in time and it is perfect. It starts to feel like a watery buzz of realty, where you are in absolute control, and have amazing clarity. Similar to being at the Optometrist and looking through those little lenses, "Better 1? Better 2? Better here? Or here?" Flickering back and forth between clarity and blurriness. Its amazing and happens in Asana, but is much harder for me to accomplish in meditation for long periods of time at this point.

I'm excited because I have recently devised a plan, to begin a Katie-ized detox for one week. I start this coming Sunday until Saturday. The timing aligns with the first week back at Yoga as well.
7 day challenge.
The Plan:
No Caffeine
No Alcohol
No Smoking Maryjane
No eating after 7pm (except on Yoga Wednesday)
Avoiding Sugar, Dairy, and Gluten as much as I can with out feeling frustrated.
I know there are a ton of toxins in my day to day I need to hone in on, bath and body products, cleaners, and in my diet, but I am just starting with something that works for me. It sounds easier than it will be I am sure of that. We'll see how it goes!

My Focus:
Drinking a lot of water. All day every day.
Waking up earlier than usual to walk, do yoga, meditate. Anything that gets me up and moving, or focusing on intention.
Sticking to my schedule with exercise and eating. ( I created a spread sheet of my plan so nothing sneaks up and catches me off guard)
Getting plenty of sleep.
Meditating at least 10 minutes per day.
Using my energy -Tapas- towards positive things like art.

I made a list of all the attainable ways of exercising I could possibly think of that I could do. Anything from Jump roping to my totally dangerous, yet awesome, balance board. I even have some roller blades hiding in the garage! The point was to get my mind thinking about exercise and to bring the energy I am looking for to me. My powers of manifestation are incredible at times, and right now I am manifesting a Happy Healthy Lifestyle.
My excitement has even inspired hubby completely on his own to join in on the challenge. Its good to have a buddy to do this with, so I hope he commits come Sunday.

Not long ago when I read the book Eat Pray Love (which is a splendid book!), I was introduced to Mala Beads, and I wanted to get some, but never did. Mala beads basically are a strand of 108 beads or a number of beads divisible by the sacred number 108. You hold each bead between your fingers one at a time, and recite a little prayer or Mantra in your head or out loud, sung or spoken, again and again, until your get to the final bead.

On a website called Spirit Voyage.com they have a "Mantra-pedia," where you can look up hundreds of mantras, their language, meaning, and origin. You can also hear a sample of what they sound like. I haven't gotten any beads yet, as they will come to me in perfect timing, but I did look through the Mantras for one or two that spoke to me.

MANTRA PEDIA

These are the Mantras I chose::

Om Asatomo satgamaya

Tamasoma jyotir gamaya

Mrityorma amritamgamaya

Which translates in Sanskrit to:

Take us from False to the Truth

From darkness to light

From poison to nectar

And the second Mantra I chose is:

Adi Shakti, Adi Shakti, Adi Shakti, Namo Namo

Sarab Shakti, Sarab Shakti, Sarab Shakti, Namo Namo

Pritham Bhagvati, Pritham Bhagvati, Pritham Bhagvati, Namo Namo

Kundalini Mata Shakti, Mata Shakti, Namo Namo.

Which Translates in Sanskrit to:

I bow to (or call on) the primal power.
I bow to (or call on) the all encompassing power and energy.
I bow to (or call on) that through which God creates.
I bow to (or call on) the creative power of the Kundalini, the Divine Mother Power.
I will start my Mantras along with my Detox, to help me along the journey. These ones truly spoke to me, and also sound beautiful when spoken. I love new stuff! (Secret fantasy:: To learn Sanskrit)

So Hubby and I decided its time for change at home, and are planning on moving the big screen tv into the living room from the family room to be with the computer. It's going to leave a nice big space for me to play with. I have been brain storming on having Yoga nights, and leading friends in Yoga together and then doing snacks. The room is carpeted which I dont know how people will feel about it. I practice on it, but dont enjoy it as much as hard surfaces. Either way it seems like it could be cool to create a little at home yoga community. Like a book club, but Yoga club. Anything to keep me practicing and having fun with it.

=D

Something worth sharing- The other night I got home from yoga class and I was running around the house from one thing to the next. My mind was racing ahead of me, when suddenly I just kind of looked down, and thought, What The Fuck!?! What was I so perturbed over? ...My shoes. I am becoming more and more comfortable in my feet, and wearing those shoes felt like I was walking around in a dinosaur's feet!! Having such long flat sensitive roots I have never felt comfortable with nothing on them, but as time moves forward in my Yoga practice, I am really becoming accustomed to what it feels like for the bottoms of my feet to touch the earth. ...And I like it.

_____________________

Fathers Day is coming up this weekend.
My Dad is so simple, yet not your stereotypical Dad at all. He doesn't require much to be happy. He has never been a gadgets guy, doesn't need a big TV, he doesn't shoot guns or kill things for sport, including fishing, he doesn't get overly excited about power tools, and he doesn't want to rebuild old cars. What does he like to do when he is not working, or kicked back quietly with his feet up? He likes to jump off mountains. My Dad has the outrageously excellent hobby of Paragliding.

"When once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been, and there you will always long to return."

My Dad

Its not always easy to shop for someone who has an extreme hobby, and for the last few years I have really wanted to get my Dad a helmet camera. I could never afford it on my own, but this year both my sister and my mom were interested in going in together and getting him The Go Pro HD Hero 960 Helmet Camera.

Its so awesome, and I honestly feel like this is one of the best gifts he could get!! He loves flying so much, it's where his soul is truly set free. He is no bragger, but this will allow him to share his sport with his friends and family in a neat multimedia way! I think I feel extra invested as well, because one time I went up to visit my parents, and we were going to go watch my Dad jump off of Tiger Mountain. They asked if I would rather watch from the landing area, or from the top of the cliff. Of course I said I would rather ride up to the top. What I didnt know was that they had secretly arranged for me to do a tandem jump with one of my Dads Teachers. As soon as I found out my legs started to wobble and I started to get nervous looking out over the landscape for miles, but it was absolutely one of the coolest things I have ever had the privilege of doing. It was like jumping from tree top to tree top. It was epic. Even better, I went tandem with a sexy european with big sunglasses and an accent named I think Yarro. hahaha
I guess you could say I'm excited to see what a bad ass my Dad is on camera. Also my Mom is working on her Bucket List before she turns 50 in August, and flying tandem is one of her adventures, so this will allow her to capture it on film too! Not to mention they are going to Hawaii in September where my Dad will be flying, and that has got to look good on film!

Here is an example You Tube video of what the camera will be like Paragliding:: Fly!

________________________________________

Alright. I hope that my next post will be sooner than the last, and to share really awesome things about my experiences with my Detox plan.

Namaste my Bloggy readers! I appreciate you taking the time to read, and I would love feed back. A stranger recently read my whole blog start to finish and said some nice things including "I definitely savored every little bit of it and I submitted your site to some of the biggest social networks so others can find your blog."

So Sweet and totally made my day! If one person can get something out of my writing than its worth spending the time to share.

All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another. -Anatole France

FAVORITE WEB SITE CURRENTLY WORTH CHECKING OUT::
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/

CURRENT BOOK::
The Help

RECENTLY FINISHED BOOK::
Life of Pi

SONG OF THE DAY::
Bon Iver- Skinny Love

Contented

2011-05-16T12:48:00.000-07:00

Love. love. love. love. love. love. love. love.

Oh my heart is feeling very good today. I am enjoying some seriously awesome luscious moments to myself. An unexpected day off. Options, options. Some really good music, which turned practically into my whole being entranced in Indian like dance. Beautiful.
Radiance.
Did some cleaning, more to do. Gave my first and only Yoga Mat a thorough deep cleaning, and am realizing I perhaps might need a back up. heh
Spent the weekend helping hubby prepare for an advancement test in his field of work in Seattle. We made the trip in silence. No music up or back, and very little chatter. We just, drove quietly for the most part, and it was so meditative and nice. We spent just one night, at Hotel Nexus Seattle, which was an average place, no bells or whistles. Brought some snacks and ate at an Indian restaurant that was right outside the hotel, called Saffron. There were many Indian customers, so I thought that might say something good about the food being more authentic perhaps. It was delightful! We stayed up late hashin some more test stuff out, and woke up early for a continental breakfast that neither of us touched really, him because of nerves, and me, because it was 7am and I don't really eat breakfast! And then off he went to The University of Washington. He got back about 5 hours later, and we headed home! A mini adventure.

It was very much a blessing I got this day off today, so I could just be with myself, and enjoy.

Yoga yoga yo OHHHHH guh.
Im going to get to go to a class today I have not yet tried at The Shanti.

Yin Yoga Meditation | All Levels

Taught as an embodied meditation practice, this class offers students a different kind of practice from the more active style of Hatha classes. Here the challenge arises from exploring longer seated holds of up to 5 minutes in the Yin style/Taoist Yoga tradition, deeply stretching and nourishing all connective tissue while steadying the mind through a variety of pranayama practices. Patience is acquired as we practice stilling the restless mind through passive holding, concentration, and meditation in a very quiet but gently challenging and deeply nourishing setting.
________________________________________________

Sounds like something I would like to try! Woo! And since I am off today, the timing will worked out.

Im hoping to go to another Kirtan soon. Shanti doesn't have any coming up so far, but there is a place in Portland called Yoga Shala of Portland that has some different performers and Kirtans I would like to check out. Its just a matter of finding a buddy that's up for that kind of thing, and that I can connect with as well. Also the Crystal Temple has been calling my name. I have wanted to check out a class, drum circle, or dance party for some time! Maybe this summer.

I took my level one class with Heather Monday last week, because I wasn't sure if I was going to get to my Wednesday class, which I didn't, so I am glad about that. Its fun to take classes from different teachers because, of course, their styles are just naturally a little different. I enjoy how I cannot read where Heather is taking the energy at all, so I have no clue what might be next, and typically its things I have never tried before. Its great, and fun! Last week it was some strap action, leading to opening up our hips, and trying a one legged balancing pose. She doesn't make me feel like I need to hold anything, and in fact, is supportive of taking your pose down a notch if needed, which is good, because like I said, I am trying new things! But with Yvonne, there is some subtle variation as we go along, but she strengthens us in poses we have already been working on, and builds so much deep fire inside of me to push through the muck, and go deeper, stronger, more beautiful. I have some really moving experiences in Yvonnes classes spiritually and physically, but definitely cannot discount the fun and sweet play I get to open up to in Asana with Heather.

(Tea break!)

My Yogi Tea quote is "Say it strait, simple and with a smile."

____________________________________________________

Our California plan has come to a close and we are no longer going to go. We just couldn't do the trip the way we would have wanted with the budget we have. We have been doing a lot, a lot, a lot of talk and just decided to redirect the time off, and the money we would have spent, towards perhaps a really nice, more local beach trip. Rent a house, and just live it up. Im going to do some looking today to see whats out there, but we decided not to do Disney. Not this time anyhow. Im not sure how I feel about the whole thing, mostly kind of ...eh about it, which I think means I am moving through it, and on with it. We talked a little about the Yoga Camp again, but its still a little much cost wise, and leaves Jarrod out. So....beach is where I'm at now thought process wise. Most ideal. Maybe even with friends.

That reminds me I have been brain scheming on like, my first ever girls slumber party....since lord knows when. I'm such a planner that I want to make it into a mini retreat. I was thinking get together earlier in the day and go some place for some out door yoga. (Hoping its a nice day!) Just to stretch out for some Sun Salutations. Relaxed and fun. Then come back for a pot luck vegetarian BBQ prepared together. Followed by some chill creativity stuff. Maybe a Collage vision board of sorts, or anything really. And then classically a movie or something. Still simmering on it all, but I want to make it happen! Celebrate some Goddess feminine energy time. Yesssss. Until of course morning when hubby will come back home and make the ladies breakfast! haha

(Long tea moment pause)

I guess its time to get back to it! I have some cleaning to do. I really want to paint, re organize, and re purpose my art space. I want it to be part Art Space, but also part Meditation space. Our whole house is open, and I need a place I can close the door, to meditate, and "stew in my juices." I have big plans for my tiny space, and want to get moving on it! It will be great new energy, because that room hasn't gotten any love since we moved into the house! It was waiting for now. :)

We cannot hold a torch to light another's path without brightening our own. -Ben Sweetland

PS:

Mothers Day came and went, and I made my Mom a Mothers day card, I was pretty proud of. If I had started sooner, It might have been better, or I might have ruined it. =P It has a poem on the inside about Mothers being Angels. This picture was taken before it was done, but close!

Attitude of Gratitude

2011-05-10T11:13:00.000-07:00

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity... It turns problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow." -- Melody Beattie

Photo: Forthright.net

Into the Light

2011-05-05T12:57:00.000-07:00

(yaw ha hawwwwwn)

I don't have words today. I just wrote about 6 different opening sentences and then deleted them....
I just don't have the words. I have a lot of feelings today.
Yoga was simply divine last night. I made it to both of my classes so far this session, and I really want to push myself to make it to every single one this time. Potentially sticking with the same students, teacher, and level, feels good.
I cannot say enough good things about Yvonne (Shanti owner and teacher). She absolutely transcends our yoga practice into something so special. I don't show up to work out, or to get better at poses (well I do), but in general, I currently show up to be present in the being of Yvonne. To listen and to take in her love, for the written word, for the practice, for the Kula (family). She makes me think deeply, and to feel things I haven't felt in a long time, or even at all, about myself, and living.
Yesterday was kind of a harder class. We held some poses for a spell, and I was sweating, and shaking! Not pushing myself into pain, but pushing myself into love. Loving myself more, forgiving myself, my body, and noticing what my ego has to say about my practice when it gets hard. And what I am noticing is that I find a place of weak effort, and say its good enough, and I'm not better than that feeling. But Yvonne helps me break that down, and listen to that true voice deep within, that voice being god. The all encouraging, embracing, never ending, whole love, of the god within me. That Inner guru, the angels, the spirits. They are all inside and around me cheering me on, and helping me to rid myself of the habits, and unhealthy sayings of my ego. Its amazing what you can do, when all you hear is you are wonderful, capable, beautiful, and you can do this pose so well Katie, even for another 6 breaths! But when I hear that I'm too fat, or too weak, and not as good as others in the room, and I'm gross for sweating, and my feet are ugly, and my gut is slipping out, and my breathing technique sucks, its not amazing at all, to see that my practice suffers greatly.
So during my practice I am really fighting for myself, and my own future. I wish I could have Yvonne around all the time to narrate me through my thoughts, and to guide me to pure thoughts. I find myself at home having ugly thoughts, then stopping to think what Yvonne might have to say about it. It helps, a lot, and always makes me smile. WWYD. :)
I can honestly say my whole Shanti experience feels like it was dreamed up. The magic thats happening, the glimpses into my own future self, all the good stuff, it all feels like I personally made it up. Like I am laying in a tube somewhere and everything that is happening is being programmed specifically to my desires into my brain, but just as a dream. I guess that feeling can be summed up to the feeling of getting what I want, which, its hard to imagine. Isnt it? For me, apparently, to have what I want, to be who I want, feels like I dream, and not reality.
That kind of saddens me a little. But I am moving forward. I pretty much cry a little in every class so far. Last night when it was getting a little closer to the end of class, we were on our sides (a bit of a fetal position), and I started to feel really down. Those truths, and those past experiences and choices, that I might not be so fond of, really come into the light while practicing, in juxtaposition to all the good feelings the class is currently cultivating. There is a lot of pain deep inside me, and it begins to hurt all over like needles, and I can barely take it. I broke down, and sobbed quietly and with as little motion as possible, to avoid attention.
But I am glad these things are coming to the light. I am becoming a stronger person, better at making healthy choices for myself, feeling the things inside of me, instead of blocking them out, and opening up more to simply loving myself. Being happy with myself, as myself, so that I can start becoming the person I am meant to be.
Which maybe one day, will be someone like Yvonne. <3

picture- Teka Luttrell

On the bodily end of things, I am getting noticeably stronger in my shoulders, arms, feet, and legs. My right shoulder is damaged from working in food service and carrying heavy treys, along with warehouse unpacking jobs. I notice the issue in daily activities, but particularly at night when I am going to bed. My shoulder has to be supported under my arm, as if something that was there in my shoulder before, is no longer there to support it. But little, LITTLE, by little, it seems to be changing. My range of motion is getting better and its like that "emptiness" is being filled back up for support. Its one of my most problematic physical issues (other than my weight) so its really encouraging that I am already seeing a change for the better!

Feeling blessed, and open to improvements! :)

"You cannot do yoga. Yoga is your natural state. What you can do are yoga exercises, which may reveal to you where you are resisting your natural state." -Sharon Gannon

The Happenings of a Lady Kady.

2011-04-26T15:30:00.000-07:00

Its pretty amazing when you can feel a shift in the Universe....a shift in yourself. Like a river finally reaching the water fall, I am roaring with joy, free falling, with a small amount of myself blowing to the wind, and the rest starting a whole new journey. There is even a rainbow in the mist if you look closely.

:)

(sigh sigh sighhhhhhhhhh)
(strrrrrrrretch yawwwwwwwwwn)

Things have been feeling really good. Some part of my personality has found its way back to me. A special part that was dormant deep down, has finally found its heart. I can hear it coming out of myself, and it almost stops my train of thought completely, because I am so amazed that this part of Katie is making its way back to me. Its a magical part that left years ago. Its been brought back to life with Yoga, the Shanti studio its self, and the instructors and students there, leaving unhealthy ego based friendships behind, and cultivating new ones with people I respect and can look up to, eating whole foods, meditation, and prayer. God has been listening very closely.
And on that note....yes, GOD....Universe = God....same thing friends! Wake up and smell the Oneness and Creation!

(deeeeep breath in)

MMMMMMMMMMMM!

All kinds of things to report on life~~

The Beau Beach Bonanza-

We happily took our Mr. Beau Cat to the coast with us. We had planned for months to stay in a Yurt, because its inexpensive, but when I was going over the reservation paperwork when it got closer, I realized there are no pets aloud. We contemplated being sneaky....because I imagine these rules are implemented for assholes who have big stinky creatures that they dont pick up after, but decided being sneaky SUCKS. So we labored and decided to spend more, so that we could still bring the cat. Honesty....the trip was ALL ABOUT bringing the cat! His first trip to the ocean. We found a house with an ocean view, that took pets, and booked it. It was a whirl wind vacation, because we had to shorten the trip due to the increase in cost going from camping yurt, to ocean front house! It was still a blast! We got there thursday evening, listened to tunes, had some beverages....laid in the bed looking out at the beautiful Pacific Ocean, and laughing about the fact that Mr Beau was with us. It was all very relaxing. When it was just about dark we bundled up for a treacherous walk/climb down to the beach from the house. There was rain, wind, even some hail! Hubby and I got pretty wet, but there is NOTHING better then the taste of salty ocean air, sand blowing against your cheeks, the roar and crash of the ocean waves, and the quiet of not one other soul about.

There was supposed to be fire wood provided, but the owner didn't have time to pick any up, so we headed to the local mart, got some wood, and came home and had a nice fire, watched some cable, and had some ice cream!

The next morning we both woke up early. We made a delicious breakfast together, and then vegetated some more on the view in a big easy chair together. The rain came and went....but mostly came and stayed. There was some serious winds that I liked to open the front door to look out at. The rain was almost completely side ways. We headed back out for another walk in it, this time using the panchos I had brought. They ended being hilariously ridiculously unhelpful in such strong winds.
We went out for a late dinner Saturday night at the classic Rogue Brewery on the New Port waterfront.
Beau was sad because he didnt get to go for very many walks around the property, like during the Orcas Island trip. But the last day turned out to be pretty decent, so he did get to go down to the actual beach finally. We found a good spot with a side walk all the way down to the beach, so he could be pushed in his cat stroller! Beau was not happy about being pushed anywhere near the water! I think he thought I was going to push him strait into the waves. He was one concerned cat! So then I let him be free on his leash, and he just wanted to walk as far away from the ocean front as possible. haha awww! Beau is not a beach cat apparently!
We made one last stop at the Oregon Coast Aquarium (because hubby got a good groupon deal), which we had never been to. It was....not at all a place I would go back to. I cant imagine paying full price to go inside!! Over 30 bucks for 2 people! AHHH! It was a night-marish amount of people, loud, obnoxious, mannorless. The exhibits were hard to see, let alone enjoy. The animals look unimpressed, AND....its smelled like poopy diapers in a majority of the areas. We pretty much rushed through and were happy to get out and on the road again, headed back home! At least we know what its all about, now.

Applied for a new job-
Finally got fed up enough to put a resume together to apply for a new job. I am really proud of myself for taking that step. Its not easy to think about being at a new place, with new people, at a job that might be harder and more stressful, that doesn't have the perks like an hour paid lunch, and my own desk, and office. I went over there in the morning and dropped of my resume and cover letter, and filled out an application. I even bought a new shirt to wear, but of course, that was wasted because the Doctor wasn't there that day for me to meet, and make a delightful impression on. It was a position at an all cat clinic, so I was laughing on the inside as I sat there filling out my app., hearing a cat getting its claws trimmed... MRAAAAAAAAARRRRRRR RARRRR Mrerrrrr!! I wondered to myself if this is even the kind of place I would want to work, considering the actual lack of cat interaction that would go on at my level, and the crabby pet owners. The smells...and sounds. All of it.   And on that note.....if they call me, if they don't call me, its alright, because, its all about putting myself out there. Trying something new. Building personal confidence within myself and my abilities. So when the natural time is right, I will get a great new job!

Facebook-
I'm really feeling like I need to separate myself from the ol' facebook a bit. Its difficult, because there are people on there that really make me happy all the time, and it helps me get through the work day. Friendly banter, pictures, and links. And then there are some people that I wouldn't imagine to be negative, uncontrollably sarcastic, or snotty on there, and are. People who love to try and make themselves look smarter or better than others, but at the cost of the FB community. Creating a bad name for the whole situation. You just cant filter humans....I have my FB as filtered as it can get really. I blocked a couple of regular complainers' updates, that I still want to connect with on occasion, and avoid being friends with just anyone who asks, even if we did go to school together, but it can be a real strain some days. I HAVE to filter my life more if I want to have the best results. I only want to be surrounded with people and situations that are consciously love, and add to the joys of the world, not bring them down, and pick them apart.

I have quite a few over indulgences that need a good snipping. ;)

Disney Adventure Road Trip-
So.....things change. Things that are so out of your control....you cant even be mad....you just gotta roll with the punches, but not get knocked down!
We went over to my cousins house on Friday for dinner, and it started right away with, "We have something to tell you." I knew...I knew I knew I knew I KNEW....for some reason that we weren't going on this trip together. Thats where the question comes into play, Am I psychic or was I manifesting not going on the trip together? I just had this sudden feeling about a couple weeks ago.....I took all my California stuff and stuffed it in an envelope and just kind of....let it lie. My lists, and numbers, and itinerary. Naturally lost the energy for the trip. OF COURSE I didn't want to think that the trip wasn't going to happen, and pushed if you will, in my mind that we were going. You can imagine me lack of surprise....when they said..... "We're pregnant!" It was such an exciting moment, and such good news, but plagued with a looming guilt. They didnt say the trip was off.... but immediately I could pick up that they needed to not be going on this trip. For so many reasons.....financially and physically (Lindsey wouldnt be able to ride rides, or drink, not to mention the looooooong car ride to Cali both ways.)
I said that we should cancel the trip, and good thing we didn't really book anything other than the House, and only the deposit was paid, with lots of time to cancel. You could see the relief on their faces. Lindsey mentioned if we were still wanting to follow through she would go along with it, but could tell not going was their ultimate outcome. We talked a little about a shorter, closer to home kind of trip, but I think hubby and I were a little too stunned to start changing the plans exactly. And... HEY MY BEST FRIEND IS PREGNANT!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SOOOO EXCITING!!!! SO CUTE! Forget about planning trips! Lindsey is going to be a Mommy!
Its quite fresh....so sending lots of happy healthy protective energy towards their little teeny tiny baby growing in there! He or she might even be a scorpio....based on initial guesses on dates. :)

And so it is.

It took a few days for it to set in that hubby and my fantasy trip wasnt happening with Lindsey and Danial.   We talked about some of our options.... other destinations, flying instead of driving... but came to the conclusion that we would still have a great adventure doing the same thing, just the 2 of us. We are cutting down the length of the trip, and hoping to still be able to afford the house alone. Also probably cutting out Sea World, which I was really looking forward to, but you have to give a little, to get a little.
We are still hashing it all out.....still not 100% sure..... but that openness to change, and to something different than what was, is kind of exciting. Maybe no trip at all, and buy a hot tub instead! ha....who knows.
Who knows.

Wrapping up my 7 week session at Shanti and beginning a new one-
I of course wanted my last class of the session to be with Yvonne. The one who I started this journey with, and began to open my wings with, but with my work schedule I just wasn't able to pull it off. My last class ended up being with Heather, which felt comfortable. It was the 8th week, more of a make up time, so there was only about 6 of us in the class, and all girls. It was an awesome and relaxing way to wrap up, as we shared things that had stayed with us, that we learned during the session. The room felt so calm with so few people moving, and Heather moved all around the room from empty mat to empty mat. It was REALLY cool to me (someone with iffy vision on the right side and no glasses on) when she posted up on the mat right next to me, so I was able to see the whole pose perfectly, like a mirror. (minus the fact that shes the teacher and does the pose perfectly with ease) :)
Towards the end of class, since we were all so different in our practice, she let us have some personal pose time. She turned down the lights a little, and turned up the tunes (which I loved that) and we could just express ourselves in yoga anywhere in the room. After that we switched modes into what would be savasana, but with a twist! She showed us how to use the bolsters, and blankets to create a yogi recliner! So instead of just laying the floor, we were being supported every which way! It was pretty cool. I found myself sitting there, relaxing so good, feeling so at east that a sliver of guilt wanted to slide its way in. I meditated on why I felt that way, and how important this special time is for me, and how I deserve it. And so does anyone and everyone!

The week Shanti was closed flew by, and I sadly didnt work much on home practice. I really want to buy the Shiva Rea DVD I had rented on Net Flix, because I was happy to do the routines, and starting to memorize them, though I dont want to do them alone, I like it to be narrated. The Shiva Rea DVD I recently purchased (just because it was cheaper) is actually pretty difficult. It goes exceptionally fast, and has a lot of ... wild movement. It would be okay if I was in more athletic shape...but really I felt kind of like I was straining the couple times I was using it. I tried again this morning with a preset routine that wasn't too bad. More core work....but didn't finish, just because I started too late in the morning and had to get to work.

This past Saturday I did what is called an "Energy Exchange" at Shanti. Cleaning for classes! I was told about this when first starting at Shanti, and really didn't know what to expect out of it. Heather heads up the energy exchange and gave me the info and invited me to come out. I was actually pretty excited to be there, even if it was to clean. Shanti just feels so safe and sacred. I showed up and there was 2 other energy exchangers there already hard at work. I was asked to clean the "hall way" which is the front enterence to the building, and the stairs going up to the studio. It was funny because I couldnt help but think PLEASE NO BATHROOMS! Im kind of a bathroom-a-phobe in my daily life. Its a rare occasion that I use public restrooms when I can avoid it, and I actually had never even stepped foot into the Shanti restroom, and had no idea what it looked like, or how dirty it gets. I just knew I didnt want to spend my morning in there! haha I really did feel quite happy to find out someone else was on potty duty.    I was lucky this time, and I think cleaned even harder in my area because of the non potty blessing. I also found the cleaning of the front entry way and stairs to be extremely metaphorical of my place at Shanti. Just the beginning. Working my way up to that those golden floors. To the heat (if anyones has been there you know what Im talking about).
I scrubbed and cleaned above and beyond what Heather told me to do. How much better could you feel knowing that every swipe, and every scrub, was beautifying the very place that helps you cultivate your own inner and outer beauty. There wasnt a dust bunny in site when I was done! And I got a KILLER work out. Going up and down those stairs, and from stair to stair, and bringing things up and down. I woke up on sunday and it honestly didnt dawn on me why I was so sore in my calves and shoulders til later! Then I laughed at myself and was proud of my aches and pains. Those aches and pains earned me some free classes! I asked if I could pay for my 7 week session (because its been budgeted this time around and I want as much money to go to the studio as possible to keep it thriving) and if those free classes could be extra or to bring someone like my mom. She said that was just fine. And so it is.

An interesting tid bit of getting to be at Shanti during off hours is you get to play!! I got to see whats behind the curtain, literally! A tiny kitchen area, and supplies. Another area with one bathroom stall..and some storage. Took a peek at the bathroom, a few stalls. Decorated elegantly like the rest of the studio. The cabinet maker was there that day installing some more storage AND new shoe seating racks. I got to sit my bunz there before anyone! ;) At the end of cleaning we all kind of played with the singing bowls and each had our go at them. Its something I have been wanting to do since I started. Just kind of get...hands on. I also got to meet Heather's family that came to visit her. I never thought of her as a Mom with 2 kids, let alone a 9 year old! Its always kind of wild to see your preconceived notions of someone get destroyed. But in another way its really a special surprise. Just getting to watch Heather being a mom to her 2 year old sheds a whole new light on her as an instructor for me.
It was all a spectacular experience that I hope to do again next session!! And one of these times, I will get myself on one of the retreats for more of the "behind the scenes" kind of yogic love action!

SOME GOOD INFORMATION FROM SPIRIT VOYAGE::
If you've been practicing yoga for a while, you've probably heard of Patanjali's Yoga Sutras. These are teachings about yoga compiled somewhere around the 2^nd century CE. The Sutras break yoga down into 8 limbs, which include asana (physical yoga poses), meditation, and something called the yamas. The yamas are 5 ethical teachings dealing with how we relate to the external world. But in my experience these teachings can also relate to our yoga asana practice, which is a great place to practice bringing them into your life and awareness.

Ahimsa is non-violence. Towards others, towards the planet, and towards yourself. When it comes to asana practice, non-violence is particularly important. If you are trying to force your body into a pose it isn't ready for, you are asking for trouble. If you have an injury and try to practice through the pain just to satisfy your teacher's expectations or your ego's urgings, you are just going to increase your injury. Yoga isn't a competition, and no one is giving out awards for best game face or fastest achievement of a difficult pose. Enjoy the journey that your body is on, and don't beat yourself up for taking your time.

Satya means truthfulness. Think about the stories you tell yourself about your body and your practice. I'm not a flexible person. I'm not a strong person. I'll never be able to do that pose. Do any of these sound familiar? A lot of the negative self-talk that we engage in is not only depressing, but also not true. All of us have bodies that are capable of doing amazing things, as long as we are willing to try. The first time I tried headstand, it was the most uncomfortable and terrible experience I could imagine. Now it's one of my favorite poses. If I had believed the flood of negative thoughts that popped up in my mind that first day, I would have missed out on the amazing fun and challenge of working my way to a confident (and really fun) pose. Tell yourself the truth, that you are capable of being as strong and as flexible as you want to be. Do your part and your body will do its part.

Asteya is non-stealing. Asana practice is a gift to your body and mind, a time to increase your strength and flexibility, and to take a break from the stress of daily life. But all too often we look at our practice time as a chore, while vegging out on the couch seems so much more appealing. Don't steal yoga time away from your body. Whether it's a class once a week, or 30 minutes each day at home, your body will love you for sticking to your commitment to practice.

Bramacharya is often translated as celibacy, but can also be interpreted as non-excess. Yoga is about balance, strength with flexibility, inner with outer, emotional with mental. But sometimes we forget to have balance with our practice and our life. Have you thrown yourself into your practice with such wild abandon that all of your other hobbies and interests are ignored? Yoga is a fantastic practice, and can make life so much sweeter. But when we don't balance our yoga practice with the rest of our life's activities we can become one-dimensional. So love your yoga, but keep knitting or practicing archery too. Make all of your hobbies part of your yoga practice by maintaining full awareness of what you are doing at all times.

Aparigraha is non-greediness. This is a hard one, because this is where our egos can really work against us. You know that feeling you get when someone in your yoga class kicks up into the most beautiful handstand on the first try, with no help from the teacher? Awe and amazement can quickly turn into jealousy or envy if you aren't careful. Everyone and every body is different, and what is easily attainable for one person may take much more preparation and work for another. Worrying about why you don't look like your neighbor doing triangle pose isn't going to improve your pose. Instead it could cause you to push yourself too hard and injure yourself. Enjoy your yoga path and don't worry about the path others are on.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

‘Man sows a thought and reaps an action. He sows an action and reaps a habit. He sows a habit and reaps a character. He sows a character and reaps a destiny.’ -Gurudev Sivanandaji

Change with The Winds

2011-04-21T12:39:00.000-07:00

Alright, okay, mmm hmmm!

Im excited today because I got my resume together for the first time in years really. Its time to look for a new job, because this one has reached its ugly peak. I have grown to dislike the person I work for more than words could ever describe. His selfishness and pure disconnect from the world has my in a daily tizzy, he loves to murder animals for sport, he has become progressively lazier and lazier as a doctor, and not to mention he withholds our checks more often than not, for up to 5 to 6 days! Im getting taken advantage of so bad, I want to make my hands into fists.

So this all being said....TIME TIME TIME TIME TIME TO GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

A few days ago I was met with another dramatic day of no pay checks, as well as another staff member getting into it with him and being very upset, and I realized that was IT. My co worker and I talked a little bit about quitting and finding something new. I said I wanted to work at a place with women, make new friends, work for someone who is normal and healthy minded.

That very moment I went on a few job hunting websites, meandered around. One inquiry that had me interested was an all cat clinic! Looking for a front end assistant, similar to the duties I am doing now. It asked that you come and apply in person.
What I thought was interesting is that all the doctors are women! And all the staff maybe 15 people, all are women except 2 guys.
Its like I was manifesting it! I love that!

So tomorrow morning, which is Earth day, I am going to go before work at this office, to apply. I thought maybe since it was Earth Day that might be good luck! I have my resume ready to go, and a cute cover letter. I am pretty excited. I don't want to get my hopes up, but there are! So everyone just think great thoughts for me. Imagine me working at an all cat office. People bringing their cats in for check ups, and issues, and seeing my face first, to help them get going. :D

I would just so love to be around cats all day! MEEEEEEEEE-OW!

As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat. ~Ellen Perry Berkeley

Sooooooooo I have things to share, I just cant focus in right now. My mind has an antsy wonder to the ideas of changing jobs.

So for now.... that is all!

Wish me lucky luck!

~~~

Blazers Play Offs Game tonight at 6:30!!!!!! GO BLAZERS!!!

gickr.com animation

2011-04-19T11:02:00.001-07:00

Make your own animation

Honor The Sun Within

2011-04-07T09:46:00.000-07:00

Feeling good, feeling positive.

Last week I got to take my mom to The Shanti for a yoga class, which was really awesome. I know shes strong and has recently lost over 40 pounds, doing a lot of cardio, but I also know her balance has severe room for improvement due to her MS. I wasn't sure if the gentle class would be so gentle that she would be bored, or offended, because it was with all people over 75, or if we went to a level one and she would be boggled and concerned over putting our feet on the wall, or maybe worse injure herself pushing, because shes so strong. So I went with my instinct and we went to the gentle class taught by Jerri.
I really wanted my Mom to meet Yvonne, and to experience the chanting, singing bowls, and poetry, but it was good to start small and simple.
Jerri is a sweety. She's someone who thinks out loud and ends thoughts with "does that make sense," while nodding. She reminds me of a blend of my high school teachers from the Art School. Almost goofy, but in a good way of course. I myself am quite goofy.
I thought it was interesting that she didn't have the typical hippie dippy yogi music on, but instead just regular, softer sounding.... soft rock? lol I don't even know. Just songs of today, that have no trace of sitar if you know what I mean.
(Thats got me doing some thinking about my own ideas, about what one should, or should not listen to while doing yoga. I kind of always imagined that indian sound, or nature waves and birds being the sound of yoga, but really....whatever gets your heart smiling, and your body flowing is just fine.)
I was glad the class wasn't filled with barely conscious seniors like in my evil imagination, but instead it was a range of women aged 20-65. All able to move perfectly fine, so we were able to do more than I expected.
We showed up pretty early, while a class was in session, so we quietly chit chatted, and then walked around in the Shanti shop admiring the interesting gifts and trinkets.
When it was time to go in, I showed her where we put our bags, and had her grab an inspirational card, and rock, just because I think its a cool habit to get into. I love little routine rituals. I cant remember her card, but her rock said Humor. Of course my mom would get humor! :P I got something to the effect of obstacles, which was my first... sort of challenge card. Thought provoking of the challenges in my life, and in my practice, versus focusing on say, the transformation, or having courage.
We rolled out our mats in the second row. I thought it was cute she brought a water bottle and a little sweat towel, because shes so used to shaking her ass off at Zumba!
I felt extremely uplifted to have my Mother sitting next to me. After all her MS battles, and hard times, and moves, and stresses, she was there, doing well, with her eyes closed, meditating in movement with me, at my happiest place on earth. It was almost surreal, I opened my eyes a couple of times just to look over at her, and make sure she was really there.
I enjoyed the subtlety of each pose we did. We honed in on the feelings in our legs, feet, hands, arms, on the inner and outer sides. We stretched slowly, paying close attention to our balance and core. Jerri focused our thoughts on momentum. Building momentum in our lives, towards what you want, or the positive goal. Because momentum can build towards anything, so it can build in the opposite direction as well, which is what we want to avoid. We need to stop sometimes, re balance, and start again. To start again.

Ive been playing it in my head a lot. Just start. To start. To begin. We begin again each moment. Where ever you are, there you are in thought, body, soul, ready to begin. Just start. Begin! Build your momentum, and feel its beautiful force.

One interesting thing that we did was just to walk around the space. Planting each foot, and rooting it into the ground. Each time the soul of the foot touched the ground, it was like my whole being was touching the ground. And then we slowly walked backwards. Its amazing how much strength and balance it takes just to walk!
So we had a good class overall. I had told my mom how much I enjoy when they come around in Savasana and rub essential oil in your palm, but we were out of time and Jerri said she was going to skip it, which my mom and I laughed about later. Typical! :D
We wrapped up with lunch and margaritas over at Woody's tacos, as suggested by another student putting her shoes on. It was only alright. I would just suggest a drink, and their home made avocado chili salsa and chips....oh my gosh SO YUM.

~~~~~~

Its hard to believe its been 7 weeks already since I started at Shanti. I have a couple classes to make up, including last nights because of my angry lady flow. I really wanted to go, and am now craving class with Yvonne, since I haven't seen her since her flu!! But I'm trying to go more with my instincts lately. I love the quote that instincts are just the Universe talking directly to you, so I am working more on listening. I went home instead and did Yoga. Ive done yoga almost consistently for about a week now. AND......drum roll please......

daddadadadadadadaddadada

I woke up early, for the first time ever, before work, to do Yoga this morning!!
Its a big deal. Ive been thinking it, wishing it, hoping it, and praying that I would soon have the strength to pull myself away from my cozy, warm, comfy place, to put clothes on, and to go out to the living room to Yohg. And I finally did it! Its like Yoga itself is a spirit, and it finally said Katie your ready, lets go! And this morning as I sat up in bed, relaxed there, and glanced at the windows light, I heard that Yoga Spirit calling my name! "Its time to begin."

It was a rough go at first. My body was not at all feeling the same as when I get home from work. I imagined feeling full of energy, and stronger muscles, but it was the opposite. It was one of my tougher practices yet. Everything felt like noodle slop, and I could feel the effects of smoking pot on my breathing. It was not a pretty picture. It was almost enough for me to quit right away. But, I didn't let it get me down, I just pushed through, and kept on breathing...flowing. I love that Shiva Rea. Her voice is like music to my ears. Its deeper, and so calming. When she says Namaste I love to say "Namaste Shiva Rea," back. I love its little rhyme. :)

My body is already starting to feel stronger. I can feel it all over, in my back, my stomach, my thighs, my feet! Everything is beginning! I'm in an endless deep ocean of tiny joys. Its really almost beyond words, the specialness that Yoga has been bringing into my life.

A huge factor that comes into the yogic journey is thought patterns. The very makeup of how we act and feel, based on life experiences, that become unhealthy patterns, start to make themselves very apparent. Like glitches almost, that just happen again and again, but not at all consciously. Yoga allows me to view those patterns and start to access and break them down from their root. Like prickly weeds that need to be pulled.

Im looking forward to continuing my one class per week at the Shanti. I really wish the next 7 week schedule had changed so I could go to a Level One class with Yvonne every week, but it just so happens to be on my ONE long work day. F. Waddyagunnado.
Bend like a tree in the wind!

My wheels are turning. Im changing to become more grounded, healthy, and happy. The fun is in the journey right!

"One half of knowing what you want is knowing what you must give up before you get it." -Sidney Howard

The Motivation Point

2011-03-29T12:39:00.000-07:00

OoO eeee ahhh!

God has been working hard on the Kate lately. I can tell because everything gets better and worse all at the same time. How can this be?....I dont know! It just be.

(waggles)

(deep release breath)

Im ready for a program that just types the thoughts I am thinking, so I can dance while I blog. :)

Big Great awesome new news freshy fresh.

About a week or so ago, I was feeling pretty bummed out. Which honestly doesn't seem to be very often, but this really set me back in the moment.
I'm so good at visualizing and imagining how I want things to be or to go, that sometimes I forget that it IS only in my mind, and things might not work out, how I have imagined them to be.
I was really really interested in going to the Shanti Summer Camp I noticed they had posted on their web site. There were pictures from past retreats that made me really feel like it was something I was going to do this year too! I imagined the new friendships I would make, the freedom I would feel to be myself, and all the special moments that would be shared, the growth that would occur, and the healing I would feel. Not to mention....duh... YOGAAAAA!! Shanti love on the road! They serve vegetarian food that looks delicious, Lerrain from my Kirtan experience and her didgeridoo are going, and cats that live there all the time. Heavenly!
I just knew I would figure out a way to go. There were no prices posted yet, so I had been simmering for at least 2 weeks on it, getting really excited, and thinking thinking how I would save the money. I thought it couldn't be more than 300 bucks, which would be tough to come up with, but since it wasn't til August, I would have time scrape and save. Just a frame of reference...its 77 dollars for 7 weeks of yoga, one class per week, and even that's hard to afford.
So I waited and wondered, and even called a couple times when I had the chance, but no one answered.
Finally I asked on the FB page, and they posted back, that the details for camp were up. I was excited to go read about the details and get the goal amount in my head.
I was so not expecting the goal amount to be 670 dollars! Oof. Im sure its 3 nights of pure bliss, no doubt, but there was no way I was going to be able to come up with 670 dollars to spend on myself, with a mortgage, car payment, and the basic groceries and simplicities of life, on just barely over minimum wage. Not to mention keeping up my Yoga practice between now and then at the Shanti.

I felt pretty devastated, crushed, sad, bummed, left out. They were not good feelings to say the least.

Now heres where we apply inner work, transformation, patience, love. This is no easy task! But this is why we do Yoga in the first place.

I let good feelings wash over me, and used every inch of my being to re group.
Its easy to intellectually understand something, and to even believe it, but to fully FEEL it in your heart, takes quiet a bit more energy. I told myself there are only 13 spots available(which I didnt know that initially), which is not very many, and many of the women who have gone in the past, have a spiritual seniority in a way, because I am sure they look forward to this special time each year. I told myself I am new to Shanti, and there will be more opportunities to do special things. I told myself that this isn't working out, and that's totally okay. I will be okay, and being at Shanti is such a huge blessing all on its own.

I felt like this big part of me was opening back up. It was filled with bitterness and sad feelings for just a moment, but those things were dissolving and it was opening right back up for new positive energies.

Pretty awesome all of this in my own control. It just takes hard inner work, that can sometimes feel like 10 math quizzes all in one, but in the end its always worth feeling good again. Feeling A+ again.

:D

So life moved forward and Shanti Summer camp is just a whisper on my hearts wind.

So then, the great awesome new news?!

Our friends had been over the other evening to hang out, and watch the Blazer game with us (which rocked they totally won), and somewhere along the night they brought up going to Vegas together for a fun adventure.
Once you have really experienced Vegas, see some shows, drink a lot, walk a lot, spend a lot, I don't find there to be much of an urge to go back, even with friends, especially after having been there 3 times, including my honey moon to which I ended up deathly ill! So I blurted out the thing I always say...."what about a trip to Disneyland and the adventure parks?!"
I think every couple should go to Disney together before they have kids, but honestly hubby's personality type just wouldn't be good for it. Lots of loud screaming crying kids, and families. It would be hard to be the sole energy of the trip, to stand in long lines, in the heat, creating the "fun" for both our hearts. I always thought it would work with friends, and only with friends. That way there is enough energy bouncing around to level out his Libra scales. But I could never really get anyone on board for it mentally or financially...

until now!

(laughs)

So they said, how about a Road Trip to California!? They were gifted a mini van from his parents recently, and suggested we go together in that!
So we picked official dates and its happening!!
Im pretending its a Volkswagen Bus! hahaha

Now if this isn't a sign of what great energy vibrations can make their way to you from the universe, when you are open to them, I don't know what is.
It just so happens that we are going in August, and leaving the EXACT same dates as Shanti's Summer Camp.

I opened my heart vessel up, and god filled it up with things I wanted.

A Disney trip as an adult with my husband and best friends!!! What could be better!

(sigh)

Feelin' good.

Now I have a healthy motivator!

I love having something to motivate me. It works like a little angel on your shoulder, reminding you every which way, to keep up the good work! Healthy eating, and dieting, exercise, and positivity. I can imagine this angel to be a little mickey mouse.

Oh ha! That reminds me.... Lindsey said she is going to make us all matching tie dye Mickey mouse shirts to wear together there! Oh how I love it, I love it, I love it!

This is going to be Big Hippie Fun!
And luckily.... you can take your Yoga practice anywhere~! <3

Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. ~Thomas Edison

Let the Troubled Seas Part

2011-03-24T14:46:00.000-07:00

I have lots to say and catch up on, but have no gusto to write it all down. Maybe some crystal light with energy will help....

hmmm... This stuff makes me feel like I drank 5 red bulls! I'm really caffeine sensitive. Pretty much can't touch coffee. oof.

Im feeling low energy today. It's my own fault for what I ate today, but it was the right atmosphere, at the right time. Typically I just bring my lunch, because my coworker and I go out every Wednesday and Friday, and really, that's plenty. But today, I'm the only one working, and the boss and his goon, as I like to call him, came out to the office to make noise, and stomp around, really doing nothing at all, so I wanted to get the heck out of here for my lunch hour!
I wanted to go some place cheap and quiet so I went to a Mexican Sports Bar I have never been to in this little town. The parking lot was empty, good sign for quiet, bad sign for food quality. There wasn't a soul inside when I went in, except 2 workers sitting reading the paper. I sat down and was brought chips and salsa: Like. Looking over the menu there wasn't anything close to a veggie burrito or whole beans: Dislike. I ordered a taco salad, and relaxed and read the newest Yoga Journal. Their salsa was great, spicy, and chunky with onions, which I thought might be a good sign for whats to come. I happily flipped through the pages of my magazine and felt empowered to be doing something alone. I'm a big fan of alone, but not a huge fan of getting myself to accomplish "Alone" in public.
My taco salad came out and it looked cute enough. I dug my fork in and got a little of this and that....took a bite, bleh! Not so good. I dumped the salsa over the top, which helped a little, but in general it was bad. Mostly just picked at it and stirred it around. Meh. I didn't really feel a loss, the food was cheap, and I just wanted to get away. Mission accomplished, though I'm left feeling a bit sluggish!
Booooooo!

(a change in music)

A little celtic might put some pep in my step!

(long breath)

Mmm hmm....I like it. (does a celtic jiggy jig)

(little yawn)

So, obviously the biggest thing lately in my life has been going to Yoga at Shanti! It absolutely feels like the calmest, most loving, and comfortable place to be in my life. Everyone is so kind, and open, and non judgmental. I find out mountains about myself in a single hour and a half than I do in weeks, heck, months of living!

Yvonne is the angel of healing and hope I have been praying for. A role model that makes sense. She has no ego, her heart is as open and wide as the universe!
I know it sounds like crazy talk depending on who you are, and where you are on your path, but its as if I pulled Yvonne, and this whole experience out of my own mind. I thought it, I prayed for it, I believed in it, and now I am receiving this ocean of blessings. It feels like a reward, for a loyal heart.
This is making me get choked up, and I think that is truly what has been keeping me from sitting down to write about all of this. Sometimes it feels like I don't deserve anything, and that I'm just not worthy to receive, or to feel holistically loved by anyone. After my first class with Yvonne I thought for sure, the next time I would see her, she would look past me, and see that I wasn't someone that deserved her love and attention, but she didn't. Instead I got a call from another student saying that Yvonne had someone cancel for a ticket to a Kirtan show that weekend at the Shanti, and she would love if I would come in their place.
I wanted so badly to go to the show even before this, not even really knowing what it was, just that I wanted to be there. I wanted to be at anything I could be at, having to do with the Shanti Yoga Center. It was 20 dollars, and I knew it was just something difficult to come up with, not to mention having another half at home, who is not all that interested in going, nor spending the Saturday evening alone. Yet again it was like the seas parted and I could just walk on through. My cousin and her husband invited us to come hang out, and so hubby went over there to hang, and I got to go to Kirtan!

What is Kirtan you ask!? Well, Kirtan is a kind of call and response, chanting or singing. This one was Kirtan with Leraine, and the back up band was called Shantala.
Yvonne calls it "getting your god on."
I was nervous about going, and didn't really know what to expect. When I got there the place was jammin! I was embarrassed at first bringing my cushion in, I got from goodwill a while back, but then I saw some other ladies walking in with some as well. Lots of people milling sieving, chatting and drinking tea. And oh my lordy, you have never seen so many shoes!!!! Its just such a fun feeling, all of us walking around in our feet! And if you like funky hippie yoga fashions, this was the place to be! I just loved looking around at everyone and their joy. Another student saved me a seat luckily, and we were right in the front.
Everything started with some words from Yvonne. Shes so loved by everyone there. Shes called "The Fierce Shanti Ma!" I like it!

Leraine is an adorable woman, who reminded me of my sister. That made me feel comfortable in the moment. She had a little dog with her who was 10 years old and he just slept at her feet the whole time! No matter how loud, and silly we all got, he just slept through it, like a granny in an easy chair, watching Jeopardy. Leraine played many instruments, including the didgeridoo, guitar, flute, and banjo. It was really neat! And the back up band was a man and woman. He played different sizes of hand drums, and also did this crazy cool voice throwing thing, that sounded like it was from an Egyptian movie. And the woman was a back up singer, and chanter.
Leraine would sing one line, and then we would chant it back. At first I felt intimidated being between 2 girls with very prominent singing voices, but by the end I thought each of our different sounds were sounding really cool together! Ive never been one to play with my singing voice. To share that part of myself, and mesh my singing sounds with another, because I have always been too self conscious about how I sound, since I have a hard time hearing myself. But, if there was ever a place to do it, this was it!
We sang several different chants, some in Sanskrit, like "Om Nama Shivaya" and some as simple as "Hallelujah." That one being one of my favorites of the night! I just loved the way it felt coming out of my body. It was really beautiful. We even broke out into some Bob Marley at one point, and every one got up and danced. In between songs we would just sit there in the quiet for a moment, breathing as one, soaking in the moment.
It was a really fun experience to say the least. At the very end we were asked to get into Savasana, and I thought it was so funny how eager and quickly the entire room was to lay down together, squeezed in, limbs touching, to just be, and to listen.

Here is a website that someone posted of a few of the chants, which they recorded that night. Give a listen!!

http://soundcloud.com/harperhendee/hallelujah

Since the Kirtan I have gone to 2 Yoga classes. Because of work I didn't make it to my Wednesday level one hatha class, so I met a friend there on Thursday for a level 1-2 class instead. I was proud of myself, because it was St. Patrick's day, a well known drinking holiday, and my day off, but I refrained from an adult beverage when hubby and I went out for lunch that day, knowing I wanted to focus myself for yoga. (same for my usual wednesday beer at the wood, I skipped it)
The class was quite similar to the level one, just with a little faster pace, and more sun salutes. I'm not sure what its called, but we even did some crazy double body yoga. One person goes into downward dog, and then another person goes into downward dog with their feet on the other persons hips/back. It looks so intimidating, but then there I am again, doing it, and totally amazed with myself! Its such a cool feeling! (happy sigh)

Last night was the other class I went to, my Wed class, but Yvonne was out with the Flu. :( You could almost see it coming on during the last class. Not in a way where she had no energy, but in a way that only an empath could feel. You could see the presence of illness almost, but shes so strong, she was probably fighting it for days. We also were focusing that day on how many important things there are, in each of our lives happening every day, but how those things are second, third, forth, to "the most important thing." Which I saw as myself, my inner godliness, my truth, my soul. Even as a teacher, she herself, needed to focus on that thing too, and the flu acted like a reflective blessing in a way. She is needed by so many, and does so much spiritual work with others, this was time for her to just stop, and be I think.

She was definitely missed!! I was hoping to have her centering energy, because I was just not in a great place last night. I felt very distracted all of class, and just couldn't shake it. An instructor named Heather filled in for her, and she did a good job, but you could really tell how tired she was. Which is, of course, fair when its a 7:30-9:00 class and your doing double the work than usual. She made little jokes about pepping herself on espresso, and was super sweet. I did though, miss the poetry, chanting, and crystal bowls that Yvonne had been implementing in class. I hope it doesn't sound like complaining! I still had a great session, and was excited about trying Pigeon Pose for the first time. :)
During the last class I forgot to grab an inspirational focus stone and card, but this time I did not forget. The stone, again, showed its face to me...Creativity! And I grabbed a mystery card, that I didn't look at til I got over to my mat. "TRANSFORMATION."

Exactly right, Mr. card! I love it!

--Its funny, I was just reading over my blog, and when I was done I noticed I had a message on FaceBook. And guess who was getting back to me?! Yvonne of course! She could feel my Shanti blogging energy! The Fierce Shanti Flu Ma! Awwww! I told her to feel better and this is what she said:

"Thank you, Katie. First flu I've had in a gazillion years--guess my number was up! Terrific practice in patience and gentleness, that's for sure. Feeling better every day though, and can't wait to see all of you next week. Boundless endless ever flowing love from Fierce Ma to YOU!"

Just an example of her awesomeness!

So things have been better than before. Im having really strong new feelings of love for myself. Im beginning to care again what happens to me, my mind, my heart. Where I am headed on my path, and what I want out of me, and this life.

Which is HUGE!!!!!!

:)

Love Yourself

2011-03-10T09:45:00.000-08:00

(Shanti waiting area)

Its a bluster out there today, with rain, wind, waggling trees, and slushy woosh car sounds, but my office is as quiet as can be.
(yawwwn yaaAaaawwwn) (scratch) (stare)

Shant Shanti Shanti AUMMMMMMMMM.

SO! Last night was the beginning of my Shanti adventure, and it was SUCH a blessing. I had all these preconceived notions that were blown right out of the water for the better!!!
Yesterday was a long dragging day at work. I was really hoping to leave a little early so I had time to stop at the store and pick up a pair of yoga pants, and to hopefully go home and shower, and just ready myself without having to rush.
Ask, believe, receive! As if I am surprised at the Universe's direct answer to my prayers.... the last couple of patients for the day canceled last minute, and I was able to leave even earlier than expected!
I headed to the store and found just what I needed with a credit I had from some shoes that hadn't worked out for me. Then I went home and took a long luxurious shower. It felt very ritualistic, like I was cleaning off stale energy. I shaved my legs, and used my jasmine vanilla aromatherapy conditioner which has been put away under the sink for ages. I let my hair be down long and flowing, because it made me feel good.
It was quite rainy outside when it was time to go and hubby reluctantly offered to drive me there, so I said Yes! We drove downtown to where I thought Shanti was located only to NOT find it. I didn't even bring an address or phone number because I was so sure I knew where it was. Then the stress train came barreling at me. Hubby was hungry and crabby already, and I shouldn't have let him drive me, and now that I had no idea where we were going, and the rain was pouring, the tension was growing. I felt very defeated in that moment, and didn't think we were going to make in time for me to not interrupt. I called 411, got the number, and then had a hard time hearing the receptionist at Shanti, as she was talking quietly because class was in session. She kindly stayed on the phone with me until we found it. Silly me, I DID know exactly where it was, and even was looking at the building... I just had no idea I was looking at the BACK of the building.
So I made it! I went upstairs and walked in to find lots of people ready and waiting, happily chatting and sitting with one another, all with their shoes off, ready to go. Immediately a woman came up to me and asked if it was my first time, and said she would show me what to do. I cant remember her name right now because I am TERRIBLE with names. But I can picture her perfectly in my mind. Sagittarius maybe?
Anyhoo she showed me where to hang my jacket and set my shoes. And she stood next to me to get my paperwork and then to turn it in, and asked if I needed a ride home since I had gotten a ride there.
I assumed she worked there, but she didn't! She was just a nice class member! I then met an instructor named Heather, and the owner Yvonne. It was the most friendly and open welcome I have Ever in my Whole life received.
The studio was stunning. Smaller than I imagined, but really no need for any more space, because it was cozy. Just perfect. There were mats, blankets, blocks, and eye covers neatly placed evenly apart, across the room. You can use the mat that is already there, or just place your own right over the top. The lights were low and there were candles lit on the wall. Windows went across the whole front side, showcasing the trees outside.
Normally I immediately situate myself in back, but Yvonne said, "Dont let her hide in the back!"
There was a little room where we put our purses and all the gear is stored. The woman that was helping me, said "I like to do this, but you don't have to." She grabbed a little stone that had a word engraved onto it out of a basket, and then grabbed a little card. "You put it at the end of your mat and focus on it."
I saw a stone that read Courage and grabbed it. Then closed my eyes and grabbed a card. It was a picture of a Buddhist looking woman, and it said Strength.
Courage and Strength were exactly what I needed in that moment.
I rolled out my mat and she introduced me to someone sitting in front of us. I said that this was the most friendly place I have ever been to, and they both said YES IT IS! :)

I sat on my mat, and set my stone and card at the front of it. I removed my sweater and got a couple interested gazes at my arm of ink, that made me feel pretty cool.
The class started....
Let the Healing begin!!!

Yvonne called me out as a new student, and I smiled big with all my happiness, and she said I had a beautiful smile. She called us family when she referred to us, and didn't just jump into asana. She said hi to us and made a tiny bit of chit chat, and giggles, and then we started a short closed eye meditation.
She started to narrate, and before we were even one minute into it I started to lose it. I was just so overwhelmed by every little thing, the good and the bad, right then, that I was starting to cry. I felt embarrassed that this was happening, because it was ever so quiet in there, but held my eyes tightly together to not notice anyone noticing me! I was trying to hold it together so hard, and she just kept saying let it go, be present, let it out, let it go, its okay. She said to imagine spirits there rubbing your back saying, there there now. Crocodile tears, as my mom calls them, rolled down my cheeks. I calmed myself down, and slowly we came out of meditation.
She read a Spanish poem I think it was, that was translated by Robert White. Key phrase from the poem being "forgotten wings." Meaning we have to create emptiness, because only in emptiness can we be filled with great love. For our "forgotten wings" to make them selves present.
We did a chant, that I could hardly say. (Im terrible with hearing someone say something and repeating it back. I think of myself as someone who could never learn another language! heh.) So she said it to us, and had us repeat it, and then we began. Yvonne had the most extraordinary voice! Shes a tiny bit of a woman, but her voice is as strong and beautiful as 5 women put together. I'm PAINFULLY shy about singing, and that's really what chanting is, not to mention singing words I can hardly say! But I did it. It started with some sounds barely trickling out of me, and by the last time through I was pouring the sounds out with great joy.
It was time to move onto asana! Before we did that, she walked right over to me and said you need a hug, and hugged me. I could feel her deep loving energy penetrating my very heart. It felt so good, and she smelled so yummy!
We went through some strength building poses, and she kept making us all laugh by telling us our squinchy faces were killing her, and having us let out big groans, in painful positions. We held a couple poses, and she would say, hold it, hold it, hold it, because when you can deal with this kind of discomfort, you can deal with discomfort out there in the world better.
We weren't just DOING YOGA, we were learning, and engaged, happy and ready for what was next.
So then she said she wanted to do some wall stands with us, which concerned me. We watched her and another student do it, and I just kind of sat there, until the woman that had helped me before said come on! We went to the wall and next thing I know, my feet are up there, and someone is leaning on my shoulders with my butt in their face, and Im getting an incredible shoulder stretch and strengthening. We happily took turns a few times, and then it was time to get back to our mats. We went through more poses using some blocks and blankets for support and better stretches, and then she asked if we had any strains and quirks we wanted to talk about, or work out. It was nearing the end of class and time to move into Dead Mans Pose. I put my sweater back on, and the lights were low, and the music was quiet. We lay there letting our bodies rest and sink into the floor and she read through the poem a couple more times... and then she chimed her bell once, twice, and we all came up to sitting. We chanted one last time along with her singing Bowl vibration AUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM. AUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.

And then it was done. I was sad for it to be over, and to have to go back into the real world, but so much a happier a person.
I hadn't paid yet, and Yvonne was standing up there when I walked up, and she said, no no the first class is on me! And she gave me another big hug and said she was really glad that I came, and welcome to the family.
I was probably floating by that time, when I put my socks and shoes back on, and rolled up my mat.

I floated down to the car, and headed home for a really great nights sleep.

~~~~~~~

Just for fun here is a picture of Yvonne and her description from the Web Site:

I began the practice of yoga at an early age, turning to playfully serious study in the late 1980’s. In 2003 I opened the Shanti Yoga Center to share the mysteries and diversities of yoga that continue to intrigue, amuse and inspire me. Inspiration comes in so many forms (music, poetry, nature, animals, people, ancient texts and modern discernments), and my teaching style is an ever-evolving combination of them all.

My background is of mixed lineage, embracing an eclectic blend that weaves together many facets of the practice to create a well-balanced and heart-centered approach to the art of yoga. I teach what I practice, and believe that students will find classes to be a unique mix of yoga philosophy, active asana, celebratory chant, pacifying pranayama, and guided as well as intuitive meditation.

Yoga reminds me with every breath that if it is not feeling like a great day, I can start it over with the next inhalation, and I hope that is passed along to every student in every class. Classes are a playground for a challenging but nourishing mix of movement and stillness, of inward and outward turnings, and of a devotion to a yoga that encourages us all to embody our individual spiritual practices. The classes I teach are informed and inpired by my joyful devotion to a daily practice, by the blossoming yoga of Shanti Students, and by teaching alongside all of the loving, passionate teachers I play and work with at the Shanti.

Rumi, one of my favorite poets, wrote: “Feel yourself being quietly drawn by the deeper pull of what you truly love.” Yoga is that love, and it is my deepest intention to integrate the discipline of a physical yoga practice with the devotion to self-study to unlock the boundless possibilities for peace in our compassionate hearts. May our practice be a prayer that all beings everywhere be happy and free.Lokaha Samastaha Sukhino Bhavantu. Om shanti shanti shanti.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting. -e.e. cummings, 1955

Angus And Julia Stone - Big Jet Plane

2011-03-09T10:13:00.000-08:00

Soup Status

2011-03-09T09:48:00.000-08:00

Soup Heaven...

New York style Tomato Basil with swiss gruyere cheese.

YUMMMM!

"Good manners: The noise you don't make when you're eating soup."
--Bennett Cerf

Gettting Good-er

2011-03-08T12:33:00.000-08:00

(I wish I could find the artist for this picture. I am in love with it, and pulled from a place that had no credit.)

Some days I truly know with all my being I am water. Not human, just water. There is no such metaphor that better describes me. Ever shifting shapes and sizes, collecting together, dispersing, falling from the sky, rising again, delicately disturbed, sloshing and exploding with myself, all over myself, only to become back part of myself again.
Im wet. Im an ice burg, a river, a flood, a lake, a rain drop, a splash, a drink, Im huggin' fish ovah herre.
Jump in!
I imagine myself falling backwards, arms out, into water in slow motion, quite often. It just comes into my mind, and its not at all a bad thing, it feels good. As though my soul needs to be cleansed in the water of the universe, a giant puddle of love.

(yawwwwwwwn)

Last week I had a moving meditative experience. Hubby was gone at a friends house to catch the Blazer game and I was home for the evening alone, which is a very rare occasion. Alone time is something I truly cherish so I get a little emotional when I get some. I sat down perhaps with meditation in mind, but it was coming on, if I wanted it or not. Everything in reality kind of fell away and I had superb interconnected dialog. Barely touching on the surface of things going on with me, but still rat-tatting at it. When I am able to go this deep without any distractions and or personal mental blocks, it is not very often, so I tried to hold it together and take in as much as I could, but it gets painful. Like your heart is blasting all its truths and urges at you at once, and I cried. I cried and I cried. And then what I heard was Do Some Yoga Now.
No coincidence that I got a Yoga DVD through net flicks the very same day.

....So I did some Yoga. :)

I have heard a lot of really good things about Shiva Rea in the yoga community. I netflicked a 2004 DVD called Yoga Shakti.
Here's a description about Shiva and this DVD:

~~Shiva Rea has been studying yoga since the young age of 14, when she took it up in an attempt to understand her name. She has remained true to her practice of a Vinyasa (flow)-based yoga that incorporates her background in dance and bodywork, as well as her own personal experience. In her teaching she emphasizes strength, intuition, fluidity, meditation, and wisdom in action. Her travels have taken her all over the globe to India, Africa, Nepal, Bali and the Caribbean, and she is currently a faculty member at UCLA's Arts and Cultures Program, where she also received her Master's degree in dance movement therapy. With this interactive release filmed in beautiful regions of India and the Maldive Islands, students can select their favorite practices from a menu to put together a sequence that is specially tailored to their needs. Viewers can select from a variety of moving poses, meditations, and relaxations, and Shiva provides a list of suggested sequences of various lengths and levels of intensity.~~

I haven't finished all the sequences on the DVD yet, but she is surely enjoyable as an instructor. She reminds me of a down to earth healthy hippy you would run into at the beach while shes surfing. She has this ease about her that makes doing the poses effortless. Her movements are classic, but the way she presents them feels new and different. I'm also pretty particular about the sound of peoples voices, and how they effect me, and hers is so nice. I really enjoyed the Indian background shown above of the shore lines coming together. Stunning and unique.

Last week I was supposed to have my first class at Shanti, but it didn't work out as I planned upstairs. Life just didn't jive with getting to a class that is my level, at a time that worked for me. I'm not beating myself up over it. Everything falls into place as it should. Hoping to go tomorrow to the Hatha 1 Class with Yvonne (The studio owner) from 7:30-9:00pm. The later evening time is SO up my alley, and really works for me since its my late work day. Being on the flow is not my favorite for class, but such is life.

(more yawwwwns)

(and a strrrretch)

This is what Hatha 1 is all about::

Hatha Flow | Level 1

Great for healthy brand-new beginners, Level 1 classes are well-rounded and moderately paced offerings, offering a strong foundation for a life-time yoga practice. Emphasis is on healthy alignment of the body/mind, conscious breathing, building strength and flexibility, and calming the nervous system. You are encouraged to move at your own pace, honoring your unique needs in each moment. In addition, the cultivation of yoga’s inner qualities, such as persistence, sensitivity, courage, and openheartedness are clarified.

~~~

Sounds like a great first class to go to! Yay!! I noticed they have some little yoga retreats this spring/summer....I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to attend one. Depends on the cost, but I think I could make one happen! <3>

I put together a delightful little appetizer night over the weekend. I had hidden motives of snack testing! I am no cook, chef, baker.... But I think I might want to be a lot more in my life. I'm on this new and interesting organic kick. I feel a process working on me. It started with veganism 5 years ago!! It was a rockin shockin slap in the face to wake up and realize WHAT THE HELL I AM EATING and how much it hurts animals, the environment. I love animals, and have no reason to believe I have more of a right to be alive on this planet than they do. Along the vegan journey it was never about health so much as avoiding pain and suffering. But then as time progressed....about a year....my own pain and suffering started to emerge in the form of sacrifice and bitterness. Its tough to pass up the same treats you ate at Christmas your whole life, and to feel like there is never anything fast and easy to grab when you are out and about.

The Lesson? You have to do what is right for YOU. Find your balance. My balance comes from making as many vegan choices as possible, (no meat except in the form of wild caught fish, and a few other sea bits), and going for more WHOLE FOODS. I like to call it clean food. I mean I am happy to avoid a suffering animals bi product, but not at the cost of taking in cancerous chemical foods, and that is what has brought the whole process to a whole new level.

Step one: WHAT AM I EATING AND WHY?

Step two: WHAT IS IN THE FOOD I AM EATING AND WHERE DOES IT COME FROM?

Step three: HOW DO I MODERATE AND BUDGET ORGANIC EATING?

I am happy to be learning more and more about food in its raw form. Eating vegetables with the seasons instead of whatever the grocery store is pushing, and buying foods that have only a couple natural ingredients versus 45 unknown chemicals. Let me tell you, it is A M A Z I N G how different fruits and veggies look AND taste, when they are grown as is, in their raw regular form, without harmful cancer causing chemicals added to make them retard sizes and to last a disturbingly long time on a shelf.

Recently I printed some "healthy snack" recipes that caught my eye and had my Appetizer Night as an excuse to make them. :)

I made everything from fresh ingredients!
Guacamole- Avocado, toasted almonds, feta cheese, red onion, salt & Pepper and Lime juice.
Black Bean salsa- Black beans, cilantro, jalapeno, scallions, tomato, lime juice, salt.
Cucumber Mint dip- Cucumber, greek yogurt, mint, white wine vinegar, salt and pepper.
Sweet Potato Hummace- Sweet potatoes, chic peas, tahini, garlic, cumin, olive oil, lemon juice, salt pepper.

Everything seemed to be a success!
Today I had left over hummace and black bean salsa in a pita for lunch. Deeelightful! I love to recycle food!

All in all life is good. Thats it....its GOOD...ITS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! Getting good-er.

"Nothing that is complete breathes." ~Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943

Snow Day

2011-02-28T16:17:00.000-08:00

This picture just makes me laugh every time I see it. That is all.

Awesome feelings feel awesome.

2011-02-25T11:11:00.000-08:00

I am feeling great! Fantastic! Blessed! Joyful! Jolly!
The last couple of days have been just splendid. I haven't had such a great couple of days where I was feeling happy non-stop in a long time.
Snow was the main factor it would seem, but in general it has been every single detail. Every moment has been teaming with fun and excitement, and a special newness.
This might be weird to say, but I think of myself as a clairvoyant, and recently I have been having deeply moving feelings of importance for the future of myself, but more so the future of many many others. I cant explain it exactly, but its like catching glimpses of my own future as some kind of ... healing and majorly helpful position I will be in. As if many people will be looking to me for guidance in some way.
I feel a shift in my world, and its as if these visions are pulling at me, and feeding me with energy. I am uplifted and feel this is directly coming from a universal source, of course.
I fell into a bit of darkness for a while, sort of floating around in the abyss, barely even remembering my ideal perspective, how to focus, or pray for the things I need and deserve. But now I have new hopes, and new confidence in things that are coming.
ASK, BELIEVE, RECEIVE. To yourself, to the universe, to God....what ever you want to call it.

So the snow came and ...mostly has went. It was enough to mostly shut things down for a day, schools, and some businesses. It started on Wednesday on and off, and really started to come down Wed night around 11 pm. We headed out for a snow walk with Beau and Baby Mother cat in their stroller and had to turn back because it was getting too deep. It was quite funny and cute. There wasn't anyone out and about in the snow at all, and I was surprised! It was so quiet, and so beautiful. I woke at 6am and and the snow started up again about 7am on thursday, which was super cool. I was lucky to not have to go to my job, and to stay home with Jarrod, enjoying the snow! We had a relaxing day, had a breakfast shake together, watched the Dexter season 4 finale, did a couple chores, and by then the roads were quite clear. We headed out to run errands and when we were done randomly decided to drive to the other side of town to grab linner at "our place" Cactus Yayas. The snow had stopped on our end of town, but as we sat for lunch it started again. There was just nothing better. Sitting there at one of my most favorite places, with my hubby, watching the snow falling, eating grub, and they even had a fire going outside we could see through the window that really set the mood. We had a fantastic yummo lunch and then headed back home.

Just lovely. I couldn't stop saying what a great time I had.

And now its Friday!!! We have Friday Night plans with my sister and her girl friend to head out to a small town bar in Prairie, to enjoy their deliciously awesome pizza and to play some pool and hang, and potentially watch the Blazer game after...because they have Tvo. :)

The rest of the weekend is free right now, and I am trying to keep it that way. My calender has seemed so full with PLANS lately....I cant stand the thought of being committed to anything. Just a free weekend....with no obligations, or specific errands, or gatherings, etc. Just....days of openness...to meander around the house, get in the craft room, to come up with an in the moment plan, to just be.

And look at this SUN! It is gorgeous out!!! OooOo eeee the good vibes are flowin.

And now its time to head out to lunch at Laurelwood!

~~~~~
Okay back from Lunch. Sending positive vibes out to Toddy.... he really needs and deserves em today. <3 Some jack ass got his well deserved promotion. (shakes a fist in the air)
His karma from being kind will circle back around sooner rather than later Im sure. :)

(yawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwn) Uh oh, mid day yawn! Its nap time!

And on that note.... Its time to get back to work before I get too sleepy and check out completely.

Happy weekend to all....todays word of advice: don't let negative thoughts creep in and poison you! You have the power to only think and feel joy and love.

Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine. ~Anthony J. D'Angelo

Try Try Again

2011-02-23T09:52:00.000-08:00

Oh me, Oh my, Oh mama! Its been a LOOOOOOONG time. I dont even know what to say. I kind of abandoned my Yoga Journey there for a while. My affordable yoga studio closed down due to the owner having a bit of a mental break down. The studio wasn't making money, and apparently, her and her husband were having marital issues. She blasted some incredibly inappropriate and private stuff about all of this, to everyone on the studio email list, as well as spoke negatively towards some students in her classes, and their involvement in all the drama. It was quite disturbing, seeing as how I was just a stranger to her and her situation. Its too bad, I really enjoyed her Yoga classes! Anyhoo, they closed down and I lost the money I had invested in a package deal.

I am over it. Just wishing them new beginnings and happiness.

Here's the brand new deal: I wanted this blog to be more focused around Yoga specifically when I started it....but recently have had some new thoughts. I joined a health blog community contest kind of thing that has also pulled me away from this blog, but feel it has become really boring and almost like a chore lately. No one comments on each others blogs, and most don't add pictures to their posts, which make their boring writing extra dull. But I have totally been enjoying the healthy blog challenges. For example, share your health goals for the year and a picture of yourself now, or share a healthy meal you like with the recipe and photos.
So, I think I am going to take this blog in the direction of anything currently in my life I want to share, and things like my own personal health challenges and experiences. I find blogging to be an exceptional form of release, and also helps to reflect on myself. Because, I truly am a different person day to day, moment to moment. Yet...the same.

I am thrilled to say I am going to finally get to sign up at Shanti Yoga Center in down town Vancouver. My husband said we could budget in the package of one class per week for 7 weeks starting the 28th of February. We may not be able to afford it again next time, but I am only focusing on the now. And the now is saying I get to go to Shanti!!!!!!!! I am beyond excited to go. I just want something in my life that makes me happy, and feels a little bit like what I used to feel in life. Newness, new activities, growth, courage, new friendships, passion, acceptance. I have really hit a new low lately, and its one like I have ever known before. A new kind of sadness that comes from disappointment with myself and my lack of evolution. Its painful and sends me spiraling nearly into hopelessness.
But my new beacon is Shanti. One class a week to just release and do my favorite thing. To learn, to be, to yoke.

http://www.shantiforeveryone.com/

I have so much to share but I think I will cut this short, and let it just be a refresher to my brand new blog, and a brand new start.

"All my life I had been looking for something, and everywhere I turned someone tried to tell me what it was. I accepted their answers too, though they were often in contradiction and even self-contradictory. I was naïve. I was looking for myself and asking everyone except myself questions which I, and only I, could answer. It took me a long time and much painful boomeranging of my expectations to achieve a realization everyone else appears to have been born with: that I am nobody but myself." ~Ralph Ellison

YOGA BLOG #16 (updates, hopes, and changes)

2010-12-03T16:54:00.000-08:00

Its been a long long time since I have been in update mode. I feared that anything I would have shared would have been pure self loathing and... just not what I want to be about.

There have been some rough times to say the least. Really rough. Like those feelings where you think your heart is disintegrating in your chest. I find that I do a stellar job of not letting anyone really know whats going on with me, yet, "everything" going on at the same time.

I have a hard time asking for help. Probably because I see that most of the time I end up getting through things any how. Such is life. Once you find the true meaning of What Doesnt Kill Us Makes Us Stronger, than you have one major key to life. Not the deadbolt key, but the regular lock. Half way to stepping inside. Im past the part of stumbling around in the darkness trying to find my keys in the first place.

(long, girl becoming a woman, sigh of understanding)

My birthday came I went. I am 26 years old now. Beginning my 27th year on earth when you think about. For some reason this year all I can think is, I just ended my 26th year on the planet really... i mean you live one year and we say you are one. But really you have just begun your second year of life. So... AGE: in her 27th year on earth as a human. Mm Hmm. "26"

I was tattooed as planned. Absolutely beautiful. There is this desperate part of me that cant wait for everything to round out, the cover up to be as finished as possible, and for everything to tie in to one beautiful sleeve. (laughs crazily on the inside at having a tattoo sleeve on her body!!!!!hahaa) But there is this other part of me that has really been enjoying this journey. This slow, evolution of body altercation. The way it rocKs me to my very core before, during, and long after each session. The way each time I learn more about harnessing my energy, my power.

This time it really hurt. I have always boasted to friends and loved ones, dont worry it wont hurt, because it never really did too bad. Its awkward, it may cause a little pain here and there, but over all its not bad like everyone imagines.

Let me tell you.... it CAN BE BAD. I absolutely know I have a high pain tolerance, and there were a few breath stealing moments that lasted between a minute to 15 minutes, that were the most

painful IN BODY experiences of my entire life. My most bone crushingly, heart breaking, scariest moments, but caused by actual bodily pain. I felt as though he had a razor blade, and was cutting into my wrist/arm. I had to lift my head a couple times just to be sure that he wasn't.

I took it like a fucking champ. No breaks. No crying. I just, took it. I was with the pain, becoming it, understanding more about it, because this pain is different than any other for me... Its by Choice. I have every bit of power to stop and start this special journey. There is a strong bold explosion of pleasure that this pain brings to me and its fascinating to my spirit.

Alright alrighty.

So what did I get? Exactly what I wanted, and done SOOOO beautifully. The Chakras. I didnt think they would fit on my arm WITH the detail but he some how did it. Thats why its his Job I guess. :)

I believe when you strip us of our humanly form we are but the Chakras. Made up of these energies each representing something different and in a particular order. I have experienced the being of just the chakras with out body through a meditative video with JIM SELF (check him out, hes a really great alchemist) http://www.masteringalchemy.com/ . (harnessing your energy, getting in touch with your soul, finding purpose, making things happen)

It just so happened to be through his medium of meditative video that I was able to, alone in my home, in my living room, have this completely wonderful experience unlike any other, of experiencing myself through chakras. It was like I was the whole universe. Or at least the center of it and could see everything. And this is without an extra substance. Just mind and body. Breathing and Letting go.

I can go on and on about the chakras, and really probably not teach anyone anything at all, because I know very little about them. But I know a whole lot about being it. And thats why this has been placed on my arm. To remind me of what I am, being able to reach those moments, to learn more about these things, and to share them with others.

I strongly suggest anyone reading this look into the chakras on your own because I am very poor at explaining how really amazing and connected it all is.

http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-91/The-7-Chakras-for-Beginners.html

~~~~~

Burr~! We've slipped into December and it is cold. Today was by far the most beautiful day I have enjoyed in a month at least. It just lifted my spirits. This evenings sunset was as though the part I enjoy the most about myself was just splattered into the sky for me to see and take back into me as I wrapped up my work week and drove home. (off early too) :)

Nothing like a good winter sunset....

I feel like I had so much to share, yet am drawing not blanks, but a million flashes of eVerYthIng on my mind. I am having a hard time focusing because I have this energy pulsing through me today. It must have been the great yoga class I had last night. Only the second class I have taken

since my last in class experience, and first impression of Balasana.

I think I want to get away from the computer after a long week of it... Come back to this

tomorrow.

~~~~~~~~~

Well tomorrow has turned into Monday! What a weekend.

~~~~~

And here I am now Tuesday.

NEW IMPRESSIONS:

I went to Balasana again for a second class. My friend was talking about not feeling her 24 hour

fitness yoga class she had recently taken, that sounded more like a drill class of poses. So I suggested she come along for a relaxation yoga class at Balasana. She agreed and we went to the

candle lit yoga class same as the last time I had gone, but this time a different teacher, the owner Tawnya.

This class was far more interesting compared to the last class with Michelle. It made me reflect on how energy-less Michelle was during the session. Nice, but with a completely NOT in the

moment attitude.
Tawnya clearly wants her business to succeed. She makes an effort and you can tell with her

individual hellos and overall upbeat actions, and she is also invested and interested in the things she is teaching, which is important to me as a student. We went through poses in beginner mode,

with lots of focus on breath and healing meditation. Then as we got warmed up she added in a couple more advanced poses to try, which kept it interesting. It didn't seem like she had a routine in mind, but she didn't need one. She could easily feel the eb and flow of the room and insert-

pose-here.

I have discovered Fish Pose (matsyasana)!! I had attempted fish pose as shown in Yoga Journal a while back and I think I may have almost broke my neck because it was a horrible strain.

During class we went from shoulder stand (my favorite), to plow pose, to fish pose, and its those little tips that a teacher has to help you get going where you might not have known what was missing before. The tip here being, put your hands under your glutes to assist yourself off the

ground. Suddenly I am in fish pose, feeling AMAZING!!! My heart is shooting upwards, my back is getting a stretch it hasn't gotten in yeaRs, and I am having extreme feelings of euphoria take me over as the room is upside down.

(Fish Pose Matsyasana)

At the end of class she announced if anyone needed to leave they could, but if you wanted to stay

a little longer you could. No one budged of course, and we continued our relaxing movements. Another half hour later we lay in savasana and she read from a book, which I don't recall what it was, but something like the Tao Te Ching. She then walked around and gently put a dab of Lemon grass oil on our foreheads, which smelled delightful, invigorating and relaxing me at the

same time. A perfect ending to a perfect class.

I even wore my new hand tie dyed yoga pants my cousin Lindsey made me for my birthday!!!

<3>

The Christmas season is upon us and this past weekend hubby and I got went and cut down a

real tree for the first time since I lived at home, and my Dad and would go. So it felt pretty special. We ended up with a beautiful Noble about 6-7 feet tall.

Very cute, with lots of personality. We had a great time walking around sizing up this tree, and that one, as potential takers, pretending that we would actually be able to come back and find it as we moved on, in this wheres waldo of trees.
The air smelled alive and if we were being painted by Bob Ross he would be painting "happy clouds," all around us. Lucky as I saw it, to have some sun amongst all the PNW rain as of late.
So now we have a lit smiling tree in our front room, and we even have some lights on the umbrella tree out front, that now resembles a glowing mushroom at night.
Still working on the rest of the house. I am kind of realizing I dont have all that many decorations overall. I have out grown my cheap dollar store decorations from the past but have never replaced them. Its hard to spend money on that kind of thing. So for now Im pushing a lot of red, and pulling a lot of orange. Simple enough.
Depending on hubby and all his company xmas party invites, I want to have a gathering on the 17, or 18th.... everyone else seems to be already, and I dont have anything special to offer, and over 50 percent the only friends I have already have plans, but I still think I am going to throw a last minute shin dig get together for whoever wants to come. A completely low key, but festive time. We'll see.... still brain storming.

~~~~~~~~~~

So I have decided to try and get my resolutions going for new years early this year as of December 1st. My resolutions just being to only drink on the weekends (except for my wed-fri lunch beer), to cut way back on smoking herb until its not part of my routine any more, to exercise more, go to bed earlier, eat dinner earlier, eat healthier, drink more water, and to just be more present in my life. I havent read a book in a long time so I asked my Mom to borrow her copy of Eat Pray Love, which is as excellent as everyone raves it is. Im trying to do more chores at home to keep things tidy and organized at all times, as that's good for everyone. And I am also cutting my TV way back, because its such a brain sucker. Things are going well so far. I STILL cant manage to get myself up early in the morning to fit a work out in, but it will come. Im really trying to psych myself up to go to the 6:30 pilates yoga class tomorrow morning. Again, we'll see. I need an angel of health to kick me in the ass until I get out of bed and make it to that class.

Im hoping to turn my Christmas Break into a Yoga Christmas Retreat Week. Because of my weekly schedule with weekends off there are a lot of yoga classes I would like to try but cant. So on my week off I want to begin using my Bikram Yoga 20 for 20 classes (so nervous!). As well as whatever comes into play at Balasana, and to try one class for my first time at Shanti (the fancy studio down town that offers so many different kinds of yoga).

It sounds great to me, and I hope I can make it happen! (short moment of prayer)

~~~

One last thing to wrap up this Blog that I am excited about.... Today I ordered myself a Christmas present. heh It sounds terrible saying it but its true. When you're married its the same money and so I just feel that with budgeting and all, it was just easy this year to get EXACTLY what I want. I wont get to see it as Jarrod said he will wrap it and I dont get it until Christmas, but I am excited! I have been looking for a good bag to carry my yoga mat but also anything else

I have, phone, keys, wallet, water..... because right now I carry my mat in a great bag that I already had for boating stuff, and works perfectly, but only holds the mat, and is mesh. So after lots of web shopping I came up with the perfect bag for me. Budget friendly, and big enough to hold everything, and small enough to not be overly bulky.
I LOVE bags. I love things that organize things. Compartments, pockets, and clever little attachments.

Zippered main compartment holds up to 15 laptop.

Three-tiered zippered pockets include deluxe organizer.

Rear adjustable straps for yoga mat, umbrella or coat.

Quick-stow pocket on top of bag.

Media pocket on strap with headphone port.

Side mesh drinkware pocket.

Vapel mesh shoulder strap and back with suspension system.

Shoulder strap adjusts to cross at right or left.

Adjustable bottom straps hold extra gear.

"Half an orange tastes as sweet as a whole one" - Chinese Proverb

YOGA BLOG #15 (Trying a new studio)

2010-10-27T13:18:00.000-07:00

Goin it Alone

So I went and signed up for my 5 classes for 25 bucks at a local studio in Vancouver WA., Balasana Yoga Fitness Studio http://www.balasanayoga.com/.

I went to my first class last night, candle lit gentle yoga. I picked it based solely on the time that it was, from 7:30-8:30, so I would have plenty of time to register and ready my brain for whatever might be. I was proud for going to the class, because when my husband got home from work, he informed me we were invited to go to our friends for a Portland Trail Blazer Basketball Opening Game night party. I told him to go with out me and stuck to my yoga guns. POW POW.

The studio is cute, extremely feminine, which was actually nice. I felt like I was in a woman's domain for sure. If it wasn't for the friendly man behind the counter I would have been willing to guess no man had ever stepped foot inside. This is a place for house wifes! The walls are a popish purple, and there is sparkely art hung on the walls, painted by local artists ( I could hardly believe that they were listed for 10,000 dollars to purchase, wild. If they are selling, than its definitely time for me to get into painting. hah) Lots of flowers displayed around the area, and candles going. A nice Zen meets western woman appeal.

I sat on the couch enjoying the relaxing quiet music that played. The last class let out and glistening skinned women, all of similar fit body types exited with happy faces, and clear intentions about what was coming next, home, bed.
I was eager to feel like they do, worked out, warm, and in the moment. I was led into the class by the man at the counter, showing me where I could stash my shoes and my bag. The room is long and rectangular, which was interesting, and the class was small enough we were all able to just be in a line. No one in front of me, and no one behind me. I did really enjoy that, although I was stuck at the end closest to the road so there was much more light than I would have liked, and the mirrors didnt extend that far so I was not able to see myself. Maybe good maybe bad? But after having my mirrors at home, I am really starting to like it. Ya start getting to know yourself more when you can see yourself other than that moment when you brush your teeth or hair.

This class was not at all built like the class before it. There were children, elderly, overweight, and average looking women. An older woman with a cat face t-shirt on, told me the instructor did wonders for her back her first class, and I would see. I enjoyed her spirit and her just finding yoga attitude. Imagine how she will be feeling if she sticks with it and keeps moving along.

I was just a tiny bit annoyed at the beginning of class, as I am such a planner, I like to have everything I need, not to be in surprise situations of confusion, and the class stated all you need is a yoga mat and water. But in actuality they were using blocks and, I cant remember the name of the other thing, that was needed. The owner of the shop, after saying hi to me as a newbie mentioned I could purchase them out front.
Ahh the world of sell sell sell. I am a bargain hunter, so I would shop around no matter what. I just ask that what is needed is told to me prior, so I have the opportunity to be prepared if that's my thing. I wont lie, when I think of setting my face on a block that 100 other people have stuck their feet on, it grosses me out. I find myself to have a very powerful nose, and was able to smell the weirdest things on those wool blankets. Mind over matter though.... mind over matter.
So really, overall, NO BIG DEAL because the instructor made make shift ones for me. I just like to share all my thoughts. :)

The room was dimmed and there were electric candles placed all around the room on the floor. Very Cool!! I was really diggin that, and had wondered to myself how candle smoke might effect the room etc. before coming. How silly of me not to think of those battery operated ones! Perfect.

We went ever so slowly through floor poses only. We never once really got off the ground except for moments in an extremely modified warrior like pose. Most of the poses felt good, but were very similar, if not the same to things I am already practicing on my own at home. Not to say I was disappointed, but I wanted more. Maybe like a quick run down of the next level of the same pose as she was showing it, if you wanted more, needed to feel it more. The instructor Michelle was very nice and came over to help how ever she could, which was great. I just always have so many questions, so when she comes over and says use this block this way. I want to know why. Is the stretch better? Which part of my body should I really be feeling this? Im not hurting before you gave this to me, is it just concern?
I dont know. I kind of wanted to kick all the things around me away from me. They were clogging my chi!
But I went with it as much as possible, tried to stay open. While at the same time trying to find the deepest stretch I could.

The class went by really fast, and I was still cold unfortunately at the end. Could have used another 3 hours at that pace! I must say if it was a 15 dollar class versus a 5 dollar class I would have left feeling a little bummed out. 5 dollars is exactly what the class was worth as a whole. I did feel more present, and more centered, as I walked out the door into the cold night to my car. A happiness that I followed through.

Safe to say gentle means beginner, and its hard to say with each studio what beginner entails, because its based on the clientele of the studio. The Beginner class at LA fitness would be advanced at Balasana. Also depends on the teacher. Gotta feel it out, and go with the flow. Enjoy the experience!

Not sure what the next class will be that I go to there. I have 4 more, but most classes are during my work hours. I am hoping to have the gusto to go to next wednesdays 6:30 am YOGA PILATES class for sure. I will let the others fall into place. Maybe another gentle class tonight, but it depends since its my long day at work on wednesdays. Also there are the errands of day to day life.

(sighhhhhh)

Well, I hope visit many more yoga studios and share my experiences here for those who are interested.

"Blessed are those who are flexible, for they shall never be bent out of shape."

SPIRIT BLOG

2010-10-19T10:25:00.000-07:00

~~

Today your intensity is being focused on yourself, and you are going through a time of penetrating reflection. Finally you are becoming honest with yourself about what it is you truly want, and where you are willing to put your much sought after passion.

--Scorpio Horoscope 10-19-10

~~

Ahh its been a long while... but I guess Im in the habit right now of avoiding this blog, and avoiding myself all together really. My life has been 100 percent feeling like its about everyone, and everything else lately. Which is by choice, for the most part.... but I am very ready for some me time. Got through some events, and now its time to think about what I want and need. Which is EVERYTHING!!! :)

I am ashamed out how badly I have been treating my body. A regular dumpster lately. TERRIBLE. Just terrible. My drinking has been heavy, and my herb smoking is effecting my breathing. I eat whatever, whenever, and my gut is totally reflecting that. I'm a mess. A real mess. I'm not ashamed to say I need a good kick in the ass. I dreamt last night that someone was saying how I was too fat for a dress and squeezed myself into it! I laughed today when I woke up and thought about it, but clearly my body image is not where I want it to be if I am dreaming in that way.

So... my mind feels a bit clearer today. My ambitions are high. I can feel a change in the air...the planets.

Its all about harnessing that energy for me. I need to keep this moment close, so I can feed on it, and ride it through tougher times near.

I would like to start a little detox from now, until my Birthday November 8th (and so on if its feeling good). But what that means for me is cutting out drinking as completely as possible, avoiding foods that I know are not nourishing and could even be hurting me, Cutting smoking down to out, and spending specific time meditating, and doing yoga DAILY.

If I can get myself to do it, I want to integrate going to bed early, and waking up early. I get so down on myself for wanting to get up early, but not getting up when the alarm goes off. Though, I had an epiphany the other day... OH GEE, MAYBE YOU'LL WAKE UP EARLIER IF YOU GO TO BED EARLIER! haha So, that will be a challenge.

Slowly breaking away from the unhealthy routines my husband and I have fallen into. Separating myself and creating personal time is necessary for my happiness and health.

I just have to create the reality.

~~~~~~

--Physical Space

I just recently created my own yoga space at home which I am super excited about. The family room has been a room of many uses, currently the computer is located there and the rest is empty. Now its emptiness is my joy. Ive utilized a couple old full length closet door mirrors we had out in the garage, which are just perfect! I couldn't believe I had never thought about it before. Soon, we are going to replace the low ceiling fan so my long monkey arms don't whack into it during asana. With the computer being there I can utilize the internet for yoga routines, music, and guided meditation which is nice. I have a great window and the fire place hearth works as an awesome alter!!
Cant wait to get that ceiling fan out! Maybe this weekend. That reminds me, its also time to take that air conditioner out too.
Chores. :)

~~~~

BIKRAM HOT YOGA--

Recently I got a coupon for 20 Hot yoga classes for 20 dollars! Epic. Regularly$ 240.00 !
I am really excited about this but also nervous~~ I have never tried hot yoga, and for the most part I have heard not so good things about it. I believe that is why it kind of scares me.

What is Bikram Yoga?

Here is how the coupon studio explains it::

The mission of Bikram Hot Yoga Vancouver is to help instill in our students a feeling of total health and well being through fun and energetic Bikram Yoga classes.

Bikram Hot Yoga Vancouver will provide quality instruction of Bikram’s yoga series, a sequence of 26 postures done in a heated room (105 degrees with 40% humidity). This series is both an excellent preventive activity as well as a system that can reduce many symptoms of chronic ailments and diseases. Bikram method hatha yoga series is designed to scientifically warm, and then stretch and realign, muscles, ligaments and tendons, in the order in which they should be stretched.

The series systematically moves fresh oxygenated blood to one hundred percent of the body, each organ and cell, restoring all systems to healthy working order just as nature intended. Proper weight, muscle tone, vibrant good health and a sense of well-being automatically follow.

The class is designed for all levels, whether a first time student or an advanced practitioner. In time the student learns how to focus the mind and breathe. This allows them to practice deeper while remaining calm and balanced. As the student deepens this relationship they begin to realize the meaning of yoga -- a union of the body, mind and spirit.

The benefits of yoga go beyond the physical aspect. Along with a toned body comes much more. Just to name a few, yoga has been proven to:

Reduce stress, the #1 disease-causing agent
Remove symptoms of disease and chronic pain
Aid in sleep
Reduce cortisol levels
Lower cholesterol
Lower blood pressure
Alleviate allergies, asthma
Help with smoking cessation
Lower heart rate
Slow the aging process
Boost your immune system

Come and see for yourself!

~~~

So this sounds promising! I'm just afraid that I wont be able to handle it. That the heat will do me in (as I am NOT AT ALL and never have been a fan of heat)! Im not a quitter, but it sucks to stick out like a sore out of shape thumb. haha

So anyhoo, you have to use your 20 classes within 60 days if when you start, and so I am trying to plan around really getting my full uses, and being realistic. Its on the other side of town from where I live, and the classes I can go to are at 6:30 MON, TUES, THUR, FRI... and they require you to come early (first come first serve), so I really need to be on the ball coming strait from work. There are also weekend classes, which is cool.

I will let everyone know how it goes when I finally take my first class!

~~~~~~~~~~

DEALS!!

Im hoping to take advantage of another deal I saw recently at a yoga/pilates studio thats right up the street from me. Its 5 classes for 25 bucks, which is super reasonable!! ( I think its for first time students only, so lucky me) And they just started a wednesday early morning 6:30 class!! So I can actually go get my yoga on in the morning before work and still have time to come home, get ready, and get to work.
So we'll see! Today is pay day.

~~~~

I wish I could leave work right now and head to an outdoor Yoga class. Its so nice out, and so dead here!!

Well Im hoping everyone is well, and you are pushing hard for the things you want out of life!

Naaaaaaaamaaaste~

‎"If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere." - Frank A.

YOGA BLOG #14 (Learning about MUDRAS)

2010-10-01T13:54:00.000-07:00

HI HI HI!

Its been a while. Not neglected, thought about often actually, but, just not able to sit down with the intention and commitment wanted here.

~~

I often have wondered about hand symbols and gestures I see presented in different forms of yoga, and have wanted to know more. It feels natural to put my hands together at my heart in Vrksasana , but where does it come from? What is it called? Is there a right or wrong way of doing it?

All kinds of questions arise when learning something new. I was lucky to find a DVD to rent called YOGA MUDRAS.

Here is a Synopsis of Mudra, and the Mudra DVD itself::
____________________________________________________________________

Mudra is the ancient yogic art and science of gesturing and sealing vital Pranic energies in the human body for health, well being and spiritual evolution. These are advance techniques designed to improve neuromuscular coordination, culture human emotions and still the restless mind.

Yogamaharishi Dr. Swami Gitananda Giri, one of the greatest Yoga Masters of the past century taught numerous Mudras in the Rishiculture Ashtanga Yoga tradition and this presentation takes a comprehensive look at the various classes of Mudras such as the Hastha Mudras (gestures of the hands), Pada Mudra (gestures of the feet and Chakshu Mudras (gesture of the eyes).

This presentation is filmed in an artistic manner with pleasing visuals to go along with the wonderful depth of the Mudra teachings of Swami Gitananda Girjii. A detailed exposition of the Sparsha Mudras is also given. These ten touching gestures are performed by placing the hands on different parts of the chest to facilitate the flow of Pranic energy to that section of the lungs in order to produce certain effects on different parts of the body. These Mudras are especially used to focus our awareness into the different segments of our lungs while performing Vibhagha Pranayama, the Yogic sectional breathing.

A team of 30 participants from 12 different countries in the age range of 9 to 65 have participated in the demonstration of these esoteric Mudra teachings.
____________________________________________________________________________________

This DVD is FULL of information. I have been watching it in sections in the last few days, following along, and still havent finished! Its one where I want to rewind and do it again, and to draw it out longer.

I am absolutely amazed at what a simple hand gesture can do your for your breathing! We think of breath as one thing. A breath in, a breath out, but its so much MORE! We breath into our body. We breath into our muscles, limbs, our heart, every part of our lungs.
The Mudras help us to bring consciousness to our breath, and to the parts of the body we are focusing on. It helps us connect to god.

I thought it was pretty funny because I was just beginning the DVD intro and the woman was showing how the pointer finger represents god, the universe, the great order of things, and then the pointer finger represents the self, the separateness. And when you put the tip of your finger and thumb together and create a circle, you are connecting to everything. Showing your focus in being one with the presence of god in your practice.

She then went on to show if you take your pointer finger and move it inward past your thumb tip, and gesture it near your face and above your head...

.... which I then did and thought, OOOoO Cool I like this one!!!

...she went on to say this is the sign of the devil. Showing you are purposly not connecting with source.

I just stopped what I was doing and laughed out loud at myself. haha I would be one to immediately gravitate towards such a thing! To the opposite, the intentional disorder.

~~~

So I am absolutely intrigued. I have been practicing the Mudras, and feeling a lot more whole in my yoga practice being able to have a bit more meaning, and also a choice with reason in my hand gestures.

More examples::

Putting your hands together strait over your head shows a direct resepct or love or praise of God. Bring it in over your head touching the top of your head and your energy is focused more inwards towards your own psychic abilities etc.

They go on and on. I would like to purchase the DVD so I can watch often and learn and remember more.

I have been feeling this work in my back like no other!! And it seems to be mostly from sitting strait up and working with my arms, shoulders, and hands. And lately my body feels anxious... like dont quit soul! Keep going... this body needs more!! MORE MORE!!

I feel like I can breath better, I feel more sexually charged, and I just feel overall more happiness.

All of these things just seem so simple. To sit up strait. To breath fully. But in actuality, it takes conscious behavior to become second nature.
Its more than true the more you work at it, the deeper the stretch, the better the balance, the fuller the breath.

:)

A side note: I really love how they use a different person for every mudra. Different bodies, shapes, sizes... not a bunch of amazing advanced yogis with 'perfect' bodies. Its nice to finally see some variety in that department. It makes me feel comfortable to see a woman with big boobs and a couple rolls, doing these exercises with ease and precision. Because its not about the body as much as its about the heart and soul. The focus. The inner work. And thats what it is, work.

Here is a small Video Clip from the DVD:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3d_ij7cqlD8

I really feel like this is going to help my meditation process in big ways! I have always had restless hands during meditation, which can be very distracting, but now I can use these hand gestures that will promote better mediation for different areas of my life.

"The purpose of life, is a life of purpose." ~Robert Byrne

Sending Happy weekend thoughts out there!! <3

SICK

2010-09-16T11:46:00.000-07:00

I am sick with a cold flu, and feeling so miserable!

:(

Spirit Blog

2010-09-15T13:23:00.000-07:00

(strrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrretch)

MmM just had a delightful salad from Laurelwood Brewery! And left overs tooo... I love left overs, and hate to waste like no other.

Feeling calm, and a little goofy as well.

Our regular waiter/friend is exceptionally kind and bubbly, so he always puts me in a better mood for the day. I'm not sure if I am happier to have a beer and lunch, or to have a really nice, caring person around me. BOTH!! ;)

Alright! So this past weekend was Hempfest 2010, at Kelley Point Park, Portland OR.

http://www.hempstalk.org/festival/

It was a free event, and we took a shuttle bus in, because thats what the web site suggested. It was an excellent idea! We had curb side service... plus the silliness of riding a yellow school bus full of hippies.

We walked around the eclectic booths, brought a blanket and sat around and vegged, listened to the music, people watched. Spent most of the time at the water front just enjoying the day and the freedom to smoke herb. It was a fantastic day to be at a festival!

Heres my cute special little Karma story:

So it was towards the end of our festival adventure and we wanted to get something to eat for lunch. As vegetarians, sometimes it can be hard to find something decent to eat at an event like this... but we came across a busy booth that had Tofurkey dogs! It said 3.50 each, but when we ordered it was 5 each for whatever reason.... normally I would have brought up the big picture listed as 3.50, but today it was a Let it Go Day. We also ordered some curly fries for 5 bucks to share... overall a spendy junk lunch.
We got our dogs right away, mine with "grilled onions." There was a long unorganized wait for the fries. Jarrod and I both were immediately disgusted with the veggi hot dog. It looked about a hundred years old and was cold and discolored. The onions were GIANT disgusting hunks, that I could see were from an open pan covered with flies.
It was horrifying. I looked at Jarrod and said I'm not eating this, and he said me either. Awkwarrrrd. So I get back in line to return them and get our money back, and Jarrod begs me not to. He says I don't want a scene....which for me, NOT A SHY PERSON, A WOMAN WHO GETS WHAT SHE WANTS, was not a scene....its called being efficient. I don't pay for garbage. But I said fine.... its a LET IT GO kind of day. So after that, it was kind if down hill. Time to go.... hungry, 10 dollars wasted. It wasn't a biggie to me, but it really urked Jarrod. He couldn't quite shake it for the rest of the day... I said.... don't worry... pretend it was our admission into the event since it was free. No big deal... but he was pretty bothered... I think more with himself for not letting me return them, once he realized that wouldn't have been as big of a deal as he thought.

I didn't want him to be sad.... so we went home, did some chores, and I said I would take him to his favorite Thai restaurant Thai Orchid for dinner and drinks!
We made it there later around 9. There was only one other person eating. Nice and quiet wind down to the weekend. We both ordered a drink and picked a pad thai to share, to go, at home.
We sat, and chatted, relaxed. Had a great waitress, with cute glasses. Our food made its way out and we sat for just a little longer, got the check and were ready to go. One of the managers came over, a sweet smiley Asian woman and said, I take care of this for you, and I give you extra order. Jarrod and I were kind of confused. She explained someone ordered a pad thai and never picked it up, so it was also in our bag.

RIGHT in that moment Jarrod and I looked at each other, smiled real big, and said KARMA at the same time!

It was like.... the silly hot dog incident was wiped clean. The great universal balance made its self vividly clear.
It felt good.

:)

It felt good all around, all over. My heart burst just a little, to see Jarrod back to a state of balance himself over the wrong doing in the day.

" Like gravity, karma is so basic we often don't even notice it. " ~Sakyong Mipham

~~~~~~~~~~

Spirit Blog

2010-09-13T14:09:00.000-07:00

I have still only received one response to my Yoga gig on Craigs list, and its been up for about a week or so. I am honestly surprised so I decided to go check in on it...and couldn't find it anywhere! I thought it was kind of weird I only got one reply on the first day, and nothing after.
It had been "flagged/deleted," but they dont tell you exactly why, just that it is no longer up. I looked at terms and conditions and could not pin point any reason why this may have happened... Everything was legitimate... perhaps a glitch?

So what ever. I re posted today... see if anyone else responds... :)

(Maybe its a sign that the guy who replied that first day is the perfect person for the job!)

I really want to get going on this. It will be a good way to get me excited, and I really need one on one time. I like personal attention, and I love the idea of the practice being totally focused on me, and what I need. LOVE IT. haha Being able to stop the instructor and ask a question or to stay in a pose for a longer amount of time etc, sounds great.

And maybe one day I will be able to return the favor for someone else.

I'm holding out just a little longer for now for a female. I was thinking I could have one person 1 day a week, and a different person another day in the week, so my learning experience has some variety.

As well as having the female for practice when I am alone, and the male, when my husband is home.

I hate to be one for pre conceived worries, and tragedies... but better safe than sorry with this situation.

:)

Better a thousand times careful than once dead. ~Proverb

~~~

SPIRIT BLOG (someone had to stack them there)

2010-09-10T14:30:00.000-07:00

Bee Bop doo da OWWW!

Friday. One of those days where... I havent expected much, and have gotten so much more than I ever would have thought the day would produce. :) A day of mini suprises and lots of laughter. Who doesn't love to laugh uncontrollably!? I have had a case of the giggles this past week. Just laughing at things, and not being able to stop. Like one part of me loves the sound of me laughing so much, that my laughter gets stronger, louder, and more uncontrolled. Laughtergasms!!

I can go months with out laughing like that, or crying. Those times, can be difficult. So I am glad to have some good ol' emotions coming out!

Hubby cant STAND to have his feet touched. Like you might get a few cracks of a smile or a laugh but its mixed with anger... Im breaking him down, tickle by tickle. And the other night I just wouldnt stop no matter how mad he was getting and I was laughing and laughing.... It might sound like torture... but its therapy. J needs his buttons pushed... :D

~~~~

So I have had one reply to my Craigs List add looking for an inexpensive one on one yoga instructor for at home.
I'm not quite sure what to think just yet because it happens to be a male, and I was hoping for a woman, just for safety reasons. But I am usually pretty hopeful and trusting of my instincts, and from what I gather so far, he seems to be on the up and up.
I am going to give it just a couple more days before I respond. Most likely even if someone else responds I will still also give him a chance as well, because why wouldn't I?

He talked about breathing techniques being first and foremost to start out with, as well as some beginner poses. He said hes a certified yoga instructor and has been practicing for about a year and a half and is still learning. Overall that is not very long at all, but if your passionate you can do anything!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So I have been having completely strange dreams lately. The other night it was as if everything I dreamt in a really bizarre form made its self apparent in my regular waking day. Like I was dreaming up the day I would have.

And just 2 nights ago I had a dream I was driving as the passenger in a car, in what seemed to be a canyon or valley between giant mountains and ridges....

and every place I looked were stacked rocks. Piles of stacked rocks. On the ridges, and hills, and just on the ground...

Like this::
It was a drawn out part of the dream. I remember talking with who ever was driving the car, and telling them "yeah those are those stacked rocks." Like I knew something about it.

Its interesting when something triggers remembering a dream. Because I did not remember I had this dream until last night. We were making dinner, and I like to get out everything I need and set it out on the counter. I had some cans of things, and had come back to look at the goods, started grabbing cans, and unconsciously stacking them up like a pyramid, and my dream came rushing back to me! It was strange and awesome.

This actually happens to me quite often... I just thought it was interesting to share this time.... because the image is so simple... and captivating. Definitely up for some interpretation.

"Geologists have a saying - rocks remember. "
-Neil Armstrong

YOGA BLOG #13 (finding help)

2010-09-07T15:04:00.000-07:00

I have been wanting to take a yoga class, but can't seem to come up with the money. Inevitably the house and bills come first when it comes to finances of course.

I think its nuts that it costs 15 dollars per person, per 50 min class of yoga, almost any where you go, just to imitate a person! It really is, especially when you think about what Yoga is really all about at its core. I guess I can understand to an extent, since we all need to make a living, but overall I am still bothered at this cost. There is no equipment needed, or hands on touching, clean up, or really any specific one on one, yet I am expected to pay 15 dollars every time I go. And everyone knows its not a one time experience, we do this as many times as we have the time! It adds up so fast. If you talk to instructors about it, all they do is to try and peddle a monthly, or punch card that is usually barely a discount, and you have to pay all at once, which is good for them, not for me. What is also frustrating, is that I dont have a sob story, to qualify for any price reductions, etc. I just have bills and all my money goes there, hence no money for extra things.
Such is life.

So I had an idea...I can afford about 5 dollars per yoga class...about 1-2 times a week. I posted an add to craigs list about 20 minutes ago looking for just that!! :)

This is it::

Help! Are you an advanced Yogi who just loves to teach and practice yoga, who wants to share your knowledge with me and make just little bit of money?

I want to start doing yoga, but cant afford to join a local studio. Even drop in classes are too spendy to keep up at 15 each! But I have a hard time doing yoga alone at home with a dvd. I really need, and enjoy live instruction.

I am a beginner, looking for slow paced, deep stretch/relaxation yoga. I enjoy vinyasas. Really ANY kind of yoga.... Im open to try anything! Just want a work out!

I am looking for someone who is willing to do a 45-60 min yoga work out with me at my house in the evenings sometime after 5:30 or weekend days. I can afford 5 dollars each time. So if you yourself just want to do yoga, while I copy you in my living room, this is the gig for you! ;) I might be able to get my husband on board occasionally, and will pay 10, but that's hard to say right now.

Please email me if this sounds good to you, and we can try a session out!

A little about me!:
My name is Katie, I am 25, female, optical assistant/secretary. I own my house in Vancouver (Hazeldell) WA, and can provide a clean safe environment. Internet for tunes if needed. I do have cats so if you are allergic, sadly we cant do it at my house... how bout yours? :)

I hope to start practicing with you soon!! <3>

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So lets see if anything comes of it! Hard to say if there is someone willing to do this, for this price in my area, but totally worth a shot!

Just sounds like fun doesnt it? Random yoga stranger coming over. might make a new friend for life...never know! :D

Spirit Blog

2010-09-02T09:34:00.001-07:00

( I call this picture "The Whole World in My Hands" Its one of my favorites )

So excited! So I started to water color the drawing I did the other night, and its so much fun! I am a lot better than I thought I would be. I really thought it would be a mess, and the the picture would be ruined, but at the same time I would be getting some practice and trying it out.
Instead it looks good, and Im totally proud. It feels like its been a long time since I have made any art just for the sake of doing it. Not to give to someone, but to just create. Water color is So forgiving! You can make mistakes, and just brush them away almost. The colors are amazing!
My Grandmother who passed away, gosh, I dont even know now, about... 8 or 9 years ago, was a painter. She made a living at it in certain parts of her life. The water colors I am using were a set she had, that I got when she passed away.
I was always mystified by what she could do. When ever I went over there it was always all about art and doing projects.
I remember one time we were painting houses with acrylic paints I think it was, and I was terrible. I actually could see that she was disappointed. Now I'm not sure at the time how hard I was really trying. I was in the 4th grade, and I was definitely artistic, and wanted to make my elders happy, so it doesn't seem like I would just do a terrible job for no reason. I think it really was and is because Im not a great painter. Or maybe just that day, and so it kept from doing much more of it again in the future. I don't know. Thinking out loud. Or this isnt loud, thinking out thoughts? yeah.

So anyhoo.... Its in the blood! My mom is ever so crafty and innovative, and my dad, artistic and articulate.
Maybe this is what I have been waiting for. I havent really told anyone this, maybe my husband, but I often times feel the presence of my Grandmother the painter. Arlene was her name. The older I get, the more I want to know about her. Not her history, but her. Her thought patterns, her soul. Maybe shes here routing for me to find myself in art. Some how, some way.

:)

I hope so! Because I feel awesome! Ive been painting it for the last couple days. Do a little part, let it dry. Come back to it, see that something needs to change, fix it, let it dry.
Its just a small picture, but my heart is pouring right into it. Last night I went into my art room several times just to gaze at it. Such an empowering feeling to see that my hand did that. That my eye blended those colors. Its inspiring. I love what color brings to me. When I was mixing colors, I was like a kid in kindergarten. So amazed at what happens when you put them together or add more water... its life. Its living.

(DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEO BREATH INNNNN)

(DEEEEEEEEEEEP BACK STRETCH)

__________

It seems to be an interesting time of the year here in the Pacific North West. Our summer was late, and much shorter than usual. Fall already seems well on its way. This I don't personally mind. I do end up missing the day light lasting longer, and never dealing with wetness, muddy shoes, depressed people...
BUT, the fall is just delightful, and I have always done pretty good with natural changes, when or however they happen. Its just the way of things.

So what I am seeing and feeling is a lot of tension among people. They are getting anxious, frustrated, sad, angry...and so on. There is a lot of denial more than acceptance that the season is changing. And here in our area, its a moist, darker way of living, but the joy should be the same. We just have to keep it going. Keep finding the love we find in summer. Its there... I know it, do YOU know it?

So I think for the next month its safe to bet, that we are all going to have to be a lot more patient with one another, and sensitive to one another. That will make things run smoothly. The seasonal and planetary changes will play out much better if we work as a community for positivity. Meaning? Say positive things to each other and encourage, smile more, avoid becoming sucked into the whirl wind of negativity surrounding the weather, do relaxing simple things that you yourself enjoy, and keep thinking about all the blessings you have in your life at any time of the year!

“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”
- Dr Wayne Dyer

______________

Spirit Blog

2010-08-31T13:53:00.001-07:00

Starting off on perhaps the wrong foot, but just needing to get it out there, I made a second Facebook for myself, around the same time I started this Blog. I wanted to have a Facebook that had no connection to people I know in real life, and to only be friends with Yoga minded people. Spiritual, open minded individuals, that would inspire me, never be complaining, and hateful of the world around them, like a lot of regular Facebookers.
We feed off one another in the social networking world. I have even sort of experimented with this thought.

If I start my day out in the morning, and write a negative update publicly on my facebook wall, about feeling tired, crabby, sore...maybe sick of the rain, then the whole rest of the day, the updates of everyone I am friends with on FB seem to follow suit. But if I write an upbeat update about loving the smell of the rain, and being so glad my bed is cozy, then everyone does the same. Writing positive things they like about the day or weekend they had etc.

So it can be really difficult to go online wanting to see positivity and happy thoughts of the people in my life, but unexpectedly coming on to see people sarcastically talking about "punching your mom in the face," and people that only know how to find attention, and feed back, from always playing a victim in their own life.

So, yes, I made a second facebook, to get away from it all.
None of the same problems of course. Lots of great quotations, and talk about Yoga....

BUT!!

Its like being on an online sales floor. All these super nice, super neat, artistic people, coming together to SELL SELL SELL.

Sell Yoga classes, crystals, healing classes, videos, books, magazines, yoga clothes and bags, skin and hair products, concerts ...

...AND IT SUCKS!

I find it almost as intrusive as my regular facebook of negative nancys.

Im not sure what it all means, maybe nothing, I just know I am disappointed with all of it.

Im just not sure how to make like minded friends. Its hard.

I dont think I will ever stop wishing there were like 10 of me to hang out with and feel deeply connected to. People who "get me," and help me be a better version of myself. :)

I dont even think its creepy! haha

___________________________________

So my appointment is set to get my sleeve worked on for my upcoming birthday in November. Well its technically set. I gave 2 dates and he said he would get back to me about a month before to firm it up. Im super excited. I dont think its really set in yet.

Its been a super taxing experience. On my new favorite Netflix show L.A. Ink, there is an artist that said "You not only wear the tattoo, you wear the experience on your body."
I couldn't agree more!!!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the beginning of this tattoo experience 4 years ago, I knew exactly what I wanted. I imagined it, and wanted it since high school. I wanted a Mermaid, with a scorpion tail worked into the mermaid tail. The reason, is because I am an astrology loving Scorpio(scorpion), which is a water sign. I thought it all was quite a beautiful and unique idea.
I of course, never had pocket fulls of money, and never intended on a tattoo "sleeve." I just wanted the one image on my upper arm. A girl I went to school with, Brynn Sladky, was tattooing locally in my area. I sought her out because of our school history together from the Vancouver School of Arts and Academics, and because I wanted a female artist. She promised me special discounts since we were "friends."

None of that really matters, what matters is she was horrible. She didnt even show up to my first appointment on my Birthday. She was 3 hours late or so because she decided she was hungry, THEN said she "forgot" my drawing at home and had to redraw it. (which actually meant she didnt draw anything because shes so lazy) She was painfully slow and chatty, the shop closed, mostly because they wanted to go party it seemed (shop owner being her boy friend), and so I was stuck with a half finished tattoo.
I was so apprehensive to go back, but I just wanted it to be done, and finished by the same person.
Yet another horrible experience. This time a new shop, which I was told by Brynn, the shop owner has mental issues and is hardly ever there, so they all get to fuck off. I was told they smoked weed in back, and I could join. She also had many people coming and going, sitting next to me, talking loudly and distracting her, as I pay by the hour! I was subjected to sit and listen to her talk about all the guys she had had sex with recently and in high school, and her ex boyfriend beating her.

AHHHHHHHHH!!!

Yet again another unfinished set.

At one point, she was putting color into the mermaid scales, and was doing them one by one, but was so lazy, she just started filling in the whole thing, and said that milkiness over the black would fade. WRONG...it just looked messed up, and inconsistent.

The Scorpion/mermaid tail was a failure, and she said "she couldn't do hands."
It ended up being unfinished and mediocre at best.

Needless to say there was no effing way I was ever going back to get it done by her or anyone in that shop.
So finally after much research I came to find Ryan Mason of Scape Goat Tattoo Portland Oregon.
A vegan shop, with vegan artists, that don't use inks with animal bi-product in them.
And not to mention hes AMAZING!!
His criteria to tattoo, is also great. Hes very communicative, he does his research, as well as his pre drawings. So professional!
I definitely realized money is no issue when you are dealing with forever on your body.

So I got going with Ryan, gave him the update on what has been going on, and what I wanted to do to fix it. He basically wouldn't work with my unless I was going to cover it up. Which it is quite the large piece to cover up, but I trusted him.

So that's where I am now. I have had 2 sessions with him at about 3 and a half hours each. Its tough, we would be a lot further if we didn't have to do this massive cover. Depending on each persons skin, cover ups can be more or less effective, which means more time under the tattoo machine. (I guess you aren't alowd to call it a gun anymore :P )

Im just so ready to have another step taken at finishing up this chapter of my life. I want to be done with it.... it doesnt feel very good having a half done project that means so much to me. Sometimes its the only thing that makes me feel... real. Like me.

_____________________

Somewhat related:

I started drawing recently. Having these uncontrollable urges to create. I dont even know a single thing about music other than I like to dance, but have been wanting to make music. If I could get together with some like minded, open hearted, non judgmental people, I think we could bust out some really cool tunes some how. Im no singer, but I sing, and Im no writer, but I write poetry, and feel like I can write a song. Collaboratively or not. Its just a matter of putting ourselves out there.

I organized my arts and crafts room again...which is always a never ending project. I open one box and start dissecting and it doesn't stop.
Its funny to me, the organization of all my supplies and such, is as big of an art to me as the art itself.

:D

Ive been super inspired by L.A. Ink lately. Its like, I can see the process more of HOW they were able to draw the image from start to finish. And the cast also shares drawing tips or secrets almost... which most artists just don't do. Its like they prefer to act like its all an accident, when its not, it takes more. A lot more.
Ive always enjoyed drawing to an extent, but I don't like looking at a white piece of paper, and trying to come up with something from my mind. I do better with looking at something and then drawing it. Especially taking many forms of other peoples art and kind of altering and putting them together. Just to practice, not to say its my own.

I printed a picture yesterday and made it bigger and traced it, altered it a bit, and tonight Im thinking of water coloring it. Not that I know anything about water color, I just think if you dont try, maybe even ruin an hour or two's worth of work, then you wont learn. Art is ALLLLL about learning from your own mistakes. Makes you think, and be more innovative. Some of the best art came from mistakes. Mmm hmm.

~~~

So things are going well. Yoga is still a distant factor, but I'm working hard at pretending that it doesn't bother me. Still hoping to get a strict regime going some day!! :)
There has been tons of summer activities going on lately with family and friends, lots of fun, lots of laughs, and love.

I have some very adult news. heh I am officially going to be the first "kid" in the whole extended family to host a traditional family event at my own house!!! Its always my moms place, or one of the other Aunts or Uncles, but this year Thanksgiving Dessert will be hosted by ME!!

:D

Its a big deal to me. Seems so... HUGE. Most of my extended family has never seen my house!
So lots of things to get done before then for the house. In general it just feels good to have projects getting done, goals set. Yup.

Im also going to be hosting my cousins bridal shower around the same time, so it should all work our really nicely. I would even say the best decorating at my house, the best time to be over is fall. October/November. Im most in my element during this time of the year, and the colors are just so me. Oranges, browns, greens, magenta's... MmMmMmmmmm. Like the sun went running into a big pile of leafs!

Thrilled! <3

"For man, autumn is a time of harvest, of gathering together.

For nature, it is a time of sowing, of scattering abroad."

- Edwin Way Teale

Love good news

2010-08-24T12:47:00.000-07:00

Im excited and I need to share it.

Random items of kate excitement:

I officially have decided, and gotten approved a long Christmas vacation!!!

My husband and I were talking and I couldnt remember the last time I or we had any kind of real Christmas break(since I was in highschool). Now that we have been married for 3 and a half years, we dont have kids, and we are both in a position to actually get the time off from our jobs....we decided to do it!
And for me its important to have the time off before Christmas versus after because thats when it feels like magic to me. Everyone (even the mean spirited) tend to soften a bit during the Christmas season, and smile more. Share and love more.
I love all the things leading up to Christmas. Driving around looking at Christmas lights, wrapping presents, sitting around watching Christmas shows, and movies, Baking yummies, and visiting with family.
Not to mention my sisters new and first baby addition to the family this year!! My first Christmas as an Auntie!

Im just so thrilled! We decided to take the week leading up to Christmas off. All together with Christmas a 9 day vacation! I can hardly believe it.

The only thing that could make it better??

If it snowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwws!! :D (crosses fingers and toes)

So thats good news number one, that has me floating along, and will for a while.

And the next bit of good news...

I am going to make an appointment to have my sleeve tattoo worked on for my Birthday in November. Ryan Mason, the guy doing my tattoo, is gone camping, and will be back tomorrow so I can schedule something. He books way out... so Im hoping he has something on the 4th of November, or sometime around there. I would like to have some work done before the actual day of my Birthday, but over all I DONT CARE AS LONG AS IT HAPPENS!!

One of my biggest motivators in motion. :D WOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOO

I made a simple collage yesterday that has a someone snowboarding on it, someone in sirsasana, and someone in meditation, to go on my Yoga Note book I have been keeping. These images will help me keep moving forward towards my goals.

ITS TIME ITS TIME ITS TIME ITS TIME ITS TIME ITS TIME ITS TIME ITS TIME

Perfect idea.

2010-08-20T13:59:00.000-07:00

I happen to enjoy the art of tattoo. I have a few on my body, and started at the ripe old age of 15! :)

I watched a marathon yesterday of LA INK, a show about a popular tattoo shop in LA run mostly by women. Each client tells the story of why they are getting that ink, and what it means to them. Its very touching as a majority of the stories are about family members who have died.

So needless to say my brain is on the tattoo train speeding off to idea land since yesterday. I am already in the process of working on a "sleeve." Its painfully expensive, and part of it is a cover up, so its taking longer than usual as well. I havent had an appointment for a year, because of lack of money... but I am hoping to go again for my birthday. (the one time i can guilt free buy myself something)

Getting new ink is actually something that totally inspires me to eat healthier and exercise. When I have an appt a few monthes out on the books, I am more aware of my body. It doesnt feel good to have a good looking guy holding my flabby arm and trying to tattoo it...! :) So I usually start lifting weights and toning. But since there has been no appt in a long while, I havent had the extra motivation.

So....

today I had a cool thought.

IF I can get myself to practice yoga more, and eventually am able to do one of those more difficult poses I had talked about, then I will tattoo the pose onto my body!! :D A mile stone in my practice, archived right onto my skin!!!!! :D

I think its a fantastic, really exciting idea! It sounds super rewarding to me. WIN WIN!

It will motivate me to work hard!

Orcas Island Vacation Pictures 2010

2010-08-19T10:21:00.001-07:00

Gravity Free~

2010-08-18T17:03:00.000-07:00

This looks like SOOOOOO much fun! Anti-Gravity Yoga~
I would love to try it~~

http://www.jackbook.com/sexy-news/antigravity-yoga-will-sweep-you-off-your-feet

Check it out!

YOGA BLOG #12 (Tids and Bits)

2010-08-11T09:44:00.000-07:00

I love it when strange things that make me think more than usual about meanings and signs, happen in my life.

The other night my husband and I were going to have a shot of rum to get the mini weekend started. We stood there chatting and I grabbed the necessary items. Rum, and shot glasses. Now I have quite the collection of shot glasses from mine and friends travels, and I find something special in specifically picking which one I will drink out of, as well as seeing which ones friends are drawn to when there is a choice. So I fingered around picking shot glasses as we talked about our day. I grabbed exactly 3 shot glasses. I set them down all 3 touching one another, and then proceeded to pour 3 shots. I blinked my eyes and looked down again. 3?
Hmmm....

I thought it was so weird. I was clear as day pouring for a 3rd entity in the room. I mean you would think if it was just a brain fart I would have at least noticed by the pouring stage, that there was only 2 of us. And, I mean, its always just the two of us.So this really had me thinking...for days. :)
The deepest part of me could sense a spirit friend, guardian angel perhaps? A dead relative in spirit for a visit maybe?

It makes me smile.

Cheers!
~~~~

Today on my way to work there was an EXCEPTIONAL amount of crows lined up on a power line. I assumed a sweet score from a litter bug, or something dead they were getting at, but instead what I saw was a melancholy scene. There was one crow dead on the ground. Nothing around him. No traffic driving by, no crows on the ground. Just him. And the line of crows seemed stiller than usual. It was as if they were mourning the death of their great friend. I know crows are smart, and so it doesn't seem impossible to me that this could be what was going on. As I drove the more I thought about it the more it seemed so, and I teared up just a little at the loss of his life. It made me think of my cats and how one day, one will die, and the other cats will be noticeably sad, because they are a family.

~~~

Soooooooooooo.... I was poisoned.
No not an evil doer.... but an evil restaurant! Still feeling the effects in my body today...! Blah.

I am primarily vegetarian and occasionally eat some sea food (NEVER ANYTHING BEYOND THE SEA) and we thought the Mongolian Grill would be a good call after so many years. We always stayed away because you pick all your veggies and noodles and sauces and then they grill it up in front of you on a big grill. But as you can imagine, they grill the meat stuff on the same grill. But for some reason we just threw this fear out the window and said fuck it, lets go!
BIG MISTAKE!

The next day I had a kind of a sour stomach that lead into the evening and was getting worse. I felt like my stomach was bloating out and like going to explode or something!! I was just feeling really terrible. I went to bed early, but was rocked awake at 3 am with horrible stomach cramp pains, to which I equated with some kind of birth control side effect thing? I took an advil, which was also a mistake because it was coming up within minutes.
I was having horribleness from both ends. Forceful, horrible, throwing up and...well you get the idea. I had to throw up in the waste basket. (ashamed face)

It was a busy day at work so I HAD to go in the next morning, which also was on my mind during the episode making things ten times worse. It was a miserable day.I still feel like its all working its way out. I absolutely felt/feel poisoned.

:(

But you know, it is a real rude awakening to what I have been shoveling into my mouth lately! Ew.

I used to be vegan, and so proud to be eating only gods seeds. And little by little, laziness, and maybe a little greed just set back in, and now I am eating at places that cook the guts of creatures on the same grill as and my food and poison my body.
yuck.

I wish I could go back to the vegan lifestyle. Its daunting because my husband did it with me, and has no interest in going back. Its just hard in a partnership to make lifestyle changes that effect both people if both aren't on board.

But....its there. The urge...I just need to nurture it a bit more. Get my health on track, and work on turning down the animal product filled foods, as well as plain unhealthy ones. And feeling strong and happy in those decisions, not regret, or bitterness, that I HAVE to pass something up.
Today's first challenge is turning down my usual microbrew going to lunch today with my coworker. I want it, and it makes the day seem more leisurely and fun, but my body just really shouldn't be processing alcohol right now. Even as I write this Im waffling in my mind about it. Its free which makes it even harder to say no in honor of my body over my mind. But its all one thing so whats good for one part of me is good for all of me.

" Take care of your body. It's the only place you have to live. "
~Jim Rohn

A Little Laugh

2010-08-05T10:12:00.000-07:00

How many Zen buddhists does it take to change a light bulb?

None, they are the light bulb!

Yoga Blog #11 (a whole lotta nuthin)

2010-08-02T15:44:00.000-07:00

Monday Monday!

I would have liked to update with some Orcas Island vacation pictures over the past weekend, but our computer got a virus, and is out of commission for the time being. We have someone lined up to take a look at it, and I'm hoping the whole hard drive is not wiped out. That would mean my Orcas pics are gone (along with thousands of others)! Oh No!! So hopefully it can be fixed. (cross your fingers for me)

It was a lovely weekend, great weather, spent with friends. Not really any chores, or errands, that needed to be done, which means it was a good weekend! ;)

I wont lie or embellish, I would hardly say I have been doing yoga regularly...which sucks! I feel like I have hit a bit of a personal rut. Haven't even really felt like I ever had seriously gotten going, only to be in a stagnant place now of laziness. I started birth control for the first time about a month ago, I am wondering if this is effecting me in any way, so I am keeping my feelers out for changes, and sensitivities to that right now. I have never been a fan of regular pill popping.
I do my small floor stretches which is better than nothing and from urge rather than practice, but know its time for so much more.
I wish I had the money to sign up for a studio. I would be a lot more focused in a group/teacher setting. Overall I feel the need for a teacher, as well as the extra urgency of knowing I spent the money for the studio, so I should be going! I guess I just need a push right now.

I see that Balasana Fitness (near by studio in Vancouver WA) is offering a trial week of classes free. They don't actually have that many classes, as its a really small studio, and lots of their classes have been changed, canceled, etc. due to summer time. They also offer other things I'm not currently interested in, but even just one free conformed yoga class would be really nice right now. I need it. So I will have to look into that a bit more, and maybe sign up for that in the next few days. We'll see. My current laziness is on over load. :P It looks like, based on my work schedule, I would be able to make it to 3 yoga classes next week.

I want to make it happen!

http://www.balasanayoga.com/

On the spiritual side of things, life has been racing. Summer just brings on lots of added life adventure. Its hard to believe its AUG 2nd already! Im glad, as July was getting a bit stale for me, and my favorite sequence of months in the year are AUGUST, SEPTEMBER, OCTOBER, NOVEMBER, DECEMBER!
I just love this sequence because it has a bit of everything! Summer, fall, winter, my birthday, holidays. Its a wonderful time of year. The energy builds up to my day of birth in November and continues on into the new year!
Time to start tapping in, and honing that energy, into yoga, meditation, and general presence.

Its time for some prayer. Its time for a turn around back to the inner me. The inner Kate is smiling and waiting for some one on one time.

I would like to start reading a book....I'm not sure WHAT kind even. I just want to start reading something inspiring, and .... completely engaging. I'm embarrassed to say I cant recall the last time I read a book.... over a year ago at least! Its funny how much I think about reading, yet NEVER am reading. I actually think a lot about writing a book as well. Not about anything specific, but I imagine myself writing one.

Which reminds me I have been having really neat dreams lately. I had a dream the other night about a sunset. A sunset! Who dreams about the most amazing sunset?!

Me. :) I am completely pleased with myself when I have these kind of dreams. I actually wake up and am like....WOW...that was beautiful. When I was little I spent a lot of time waking up from dreams, and then trying to consciously go back into them. And I did... its like my practice as an unknowing mystified-by-the-dream-world child self was training. I think its fascinating that people don't dream, but also sad. In my husbands case, he never, ever, remembers his dreams, unless they are terrible, so he says he pushes them away and tries to forget right away while waking up.
When I was young I also touted that my memory from dream land was as REAL or clear as a memory from my past in real life. And I think now, as I age, that becomes more important, to my overall journey, and learning of the universe. I learn about myself, and whats going on in my life, from my own dreams. Some dreams are like my thoughts dancing it out, and other dreams, are journeys. Actual astral travel or something of that nature. And ... these journeys should be remembered if possible. Even scary, overly intense ones.
Working it all out, all the time. That in itself is meditation. It takes delicate control to remember a dream in true form, and even still... its not quite whole.

:) Dream my friends! Think about it before bed, and and listen softly to your thoughts as you wake up, for a path into the places you just were!

-Namaste

" Keep your thoughts positive because your thoughts become your words. Keep your words positive because your words become your behaviors. Keep your behaviors positive because your behaviors become your habits. Keep your habits positive because your habits become your values. Keep your values positive because your values become your destiny. "

-Gandhi

Friday!

2010-07-30T10:30:00.001-07:00

YaY for another new issue of Yoga Journal waiting for me in my Mail box yesterday!
Side note... Lotus Pose is much harder than it looks!

Happy Friday~

Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.
~Bill Watterson

Yoga Blog #10 (Enlighten Up)

2010-07-28T14:22:00.000-07:00

(4th of July pic from my home town show)

Oh Hello.

The day is feisty and my energy is up up up!
Thought I would take this opportunity to Blog it out.

I wanted to share that a couple nights ago I had dreamt that I was attempting to do the Sirsasana Pose.

Now I have never actually atempted to do this pose in real life, but for some reason I think about it .... A LOT. I think personally I just imagine myself progressing along and one day being able to do more advanced, and...what can I say....really cool poses!
I thought it was a really neat dream to have. It was also a very in the moment dream, versus some dreams where its almost as if I'm watching myself, instead of living as myself.
I wonder if this dream had anything to do with the Full moon.
What I DO know, is that its inspiring and exciting. At night when my mind rests my heart is advancing along in its yoga practice! :P

While I am sharing about poses I think about... I might as well share the other one that sort of dominates my mind when I am having visions of yoga grandeur.
The pose is called the Scorpion Pose. Or "Vrschikasana."

Now this pose totally intrigues me because of my obsession with astrology. I myself am whole heartily a Scorpio. The 8th to be exact. The symbol of the scorpion seems to be ingrained in my brain, so the actual Scorpion pose seems natural and mystical to me. One day I will do it with such precision it will sting!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So at home we were debating getting some kind of cable upgrade. Mostly for cooking channels, home and gardening, and comedy central. We watch tv, but by no means watch a lot, or enough to pay extra for 3 channels. So we decided to try out net flix. Only 9 bucks for the month, and not only do you get 1 disc by mail, you also have instant watch shows and movies on your computer or in my case at home, through the Wii internet connection.
The reason I am sharing this is because I watched a cool documentary called "Elighten Up."

Its a documentary by 7 year yoga student Kate Churchill, who is following a new-to-yoga student, Journalist, Nick Rosen. (sexay!)

Her mission is to prove that Yoga will change any person physically and spiritually. Nick is an exceptional candidate because he is not spiritual. Also his parents are divorced and totally opposite in personality. Father a lawyer, and his mother is a spiritual healer of sorts.

And Nick, from my perspective, right smack in the middle.

The movie follows Nick on his journeys around the world, working with different Guru's, and yoga instructors. Trying all different kinds of Yoga. Asking all kinds of questions, and trying to find some kind of underlining truth...or reason.

Overall the movie doesn't have that ending you might expect, and that's what makes it so interesting. I'm left just as the main character, with lots of questions! The more you know about something, the less you know right? Right. :)

This was the perfect movie to watch in the place I am at right now. Im not looking for, "the reason" to keep doing yoga, like Nick, but I am full of questions about yoga. Where it comes from, and what it means to Guru like people, and instructors, and how other people in other parts of the world practice. And, is the yoga of the west watered down, and changed?

Its a great flick and I would suggest it to any yogi at any level, or even someone who has never thought of yoga. I think it will invoke some questions about yourself, and what, or who you are, and why you are, which is never a bad thing!
So check it out! Enlighten Up.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kKQw0-IlJiY

Oh yeah! It will totally make you smile/giggle! :D

"If you don’t make mistakes, you’re not working on hard enough problems. And that’s a big mistake."

—Frank Wilczek

YOGA BLOG #9 (back from vacation)

2010-07-23T14:37:00.000-07:00

(takes looooooooooong breath in and out)

Well its Friday. I made it through my first week back at work, after my vacation to Orcas Island Washington. Technically I had 10 full days off, but was there for 7 nights.
Wow. There is just so much to be said about our vacation. (laughs to self)

It was a smooth journey north. We left much later than planned on Friday, about 11 am. Minor set backs of packing, as well as our cat beau was no where to be found!! He finally came around, and away we went!
The traffic was smooth as can be, all the way through Seattle to the ferry docking station in Anacortes. The sad news is that the Ferry was running way behind throwing the schedule off, and we were 2 cars away from making the next ferry at 3:45, which didn't come til 5:30. So after a wait time of nearly 4.5 hours, we were on the ferry and headed to the island.
It was a nice ride, with sun set getting going, and our car being on the outer side of the ferry, so we could just relax in our car with the windows down, and the music going.We got there about 8:30 pm, and headed for the house we rented called "The Gnome House."
We finally found our turn onto the property, what we were told on the website was 101 acres of wild life reserve we could explore.
We drive along a gravel path passing other houses, broken down cars and boats, and heaps of other junk. We come around a corner to find a very over grown, dark shack. The doors are wide open, there is a dog roaming around the area, and a couple cats (which normally I would enjoy, but in this moment felt like a nightmare). There are no cute flowers blooming like in the pictures online, there are no fields around it. No views. I don't even see the play ground. ( I had friends on the island with kids I invited to come at some point because we had the play set)
I said to my husband "this can't be it!"
But.... a mean... a gnome house is a gnome house. It had the architecture from the pictures....it just looked about 25 more years run down. It was also right across the street from another house (not private at all), which happened to be the owners.
I had talked to the owners on the phone several times. A woman in her 60's and her husband about 70's. Nice as can be!

So we pull into the barely there drive way, and I am just devastated. I walk up a gravel hill to find the playground, nearly un-viewable from all the piles of junk. And now I see the little view of the harbor that was shown in pictures.We go inside the shack, and there is no central air of any kind, or fans, and it feels like a 1000 degrees. The bathroom is a night mare, some of the lights dont work in the place. Its ever so small, and everything just seems dirty, old, run down, and not worth the 1400 dollars we spent for the week, that took months to save.

I was devastated. I felt very tricked...an uncomfortable feeling to say the least.
So I just burst into tears, and didn't know what to make of it all.
Its not that I'm too good for run down, or "quaint," it was that I payed for something completely different than this. If it was 50 bucks a night, and I knew what I was in for, I would have potentially loved it. But it wasn't, it was a lot more. Almost my mortgage at home for a month!!

So what to do? What to do? It was so heart wrenching but I had to do it. I call the owner Maggie, and she picks up right away. I tell her Im disappointed, and she says I will be right over.
So we wait a few more minutes, while my Mr. Beau kitty is yowling his head off, probably to go potty after 9 hours of travel, and we see her come on over.

Painfully and awkwardly I tell her to the best of my distraught ability why I am disappointed. She just kind of rebuttals with a, sleep on it, and see how you feel in the morning. Everyone loves the gnome house.
Nope. Not having it. I said that's not going to change all the garbage, and that there is no property like in the pictures shown, or any views of water or otherwise. She says the "view" im thinking of, is from their other property online at Orcas. (which it was not, because I have been looking at the same 6 pictures for months in anticipation.) She then says she will have her husband pick some of the trash up the next day, which was silly, because he would have needed a small army to take care of all the debris in a day. Not to mention the house is still run down, and over grown. The linens are a thousand years old, and its uncomfortably warm inside.
She can see that its just not going to be that easy, and says she can only refund HALF our money back!
I pretty much started to cry again, just mortified. Telling Jarrod we might as well just stay, because at this hour, and with half our money lost... it just seemed like the best idea.
So then her husband comes out, and is upset that I am upset with his wife. He basically said we weren't aloud to stay in the gnome house with the attitude we had towards it, and says, just let them stay in "the other house."
Alright. The "other house."

So she begins to tell us about the other house they have just down the road. Its got amazing views, costs twice as much (if anyone can believe that), and the man who rented it for that time, just called that evening and asked to reschedule to another week, because he threw his back out.
She agreed to give it to us for the same price, as we walked down to the other house.It indeed did have amazing views. It was huge. Same idea, a little run down (cockroach and spider in the tub), but still much more worth the money. Basically just the view alone made it worth it. So we walked around, and chatted a bit, everyone trying to find balance in the situation. I kept telling her how sorry I was for all of this, and she was actually pretty understanding in the end. She said "well what ever thoughts you had about this, those were yours, so, we cant change that, but hopefully this is awesome and makes up for it."
And it totally did. I cried and asked her if I could hug her. We had a nice hug, and then it was finally time to start our vacation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oi eee Ahhhhhh!!

:)

~~~~

I wanted the trip to be my own personal Yoga Retreat, with Yoga happening every day. And like all my planning, its either dead on, or way off. This one I was way off on. We were just so busy exploring, and hiking, and eating, and loving, that I really didn't do that much yoga at all.
My most meaningful yoga experience the whole trip was the first morning waking up there. I woke up to the sound of birds, and the smell of salty air! My sub conscious waiting for sounds of cars, and dump trucks, and lawn mowers. Nothing....just beautiful nature.
I woke up early as can be, the sun was shining so bright! I found a good place for my mat, since the whole house was basically windows everywhere, it didnt matter where I was at! I went through a nice routine, and felt so relieved from the day before. I felt blessed to have had the second option available. I felt interested in the connection or coincidence that the man who was supposed to be staying there had to cancel. I said prayers of thankfulness towards the owners. I just felt good! Plus, after being in the car for about 9 hours the day before, my body was so happy to stretch, and reach, and be!
Other than that morning, my yoga was sporatic, and I never actually went to the yoga studio on the Island. I did check it out, as it was in the heart of town, but I made a promise to myself I wouldn't go and spend the money, unless it had an amazing view. It actually had no views at all, and was quite small and closed in. Pretty, and if I lived on the island I would love to go daily, but for my vacation I just wanted to connect with the nature and scenery as much as possible, versus closing myself off to it, even with yoga. So I just stuck to alone practice at the house indoors and outdoors, always with the sun shining on my face.

Overall it was an AMAZING trip!!! Just beautiful. The weather was sunny and warm every day. "Epic" you might say. And I even got a mini tan. Which feels like, it looks like a dusting of dirt more than anything on me. hehOur best friends were also on the island and camped at Moran State Park for some of the time, and then stayed in the house with us the other part. We all had lots of fun, and since they had been there a few times before, they were like our tour guides!

I am going to share some pictures of the trip on here later. I haven't quite finished uploading them all to my computer, and sorting them, but hopefully will finish up tonight.

____

This week I was hoping to start a fat burning Yoga DVD I got by Jillian Michaels in the mornings before work. But that was quite bold of me indeed! lol This week has been a rough one. All I seem to think about is being back in the freedom of my vacation. Wear what ever, sit for hours, or go for a walk. Eat when ever, drink when ever. Exploring, and relaxing. Just really feeling free from everything.
This week was T E R R I B L E. Coming back to work I am all questions about what I want out life. What I am doing at my job, and why. What I really want to do, and how I can achieve that.

Its been just rough. Thats the only word I can think of. Rough. Rocky. Bumpy. heh
But I am also having these new refreshed feelings as well. Not quite an empty vessel, but getting there. Left a few of my troubles back on Orcas in the Pudget sound it would seem.

Well It IS in fact friday, and the weekend is here! My cousins bridal shower this sunday, but other than that mostly just relaxing and jivin'.

I hope everyone is enjoying the summer of 2010~

(strrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrretch)

---Namaste

"Corpse pose restores life. Dead parts of your being fall away, the ghosts are released. "

YOGA BLOG #8

2010-07-08T09:53:00.000-07:00

BREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEATHE. BREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEATHE.
Long loving breathes of pure love and energy!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Again it has been a little while since an update. Sometimes life is like a rushing river smashing along the rocks as it it picks up speed, and the last 2 weeks I my spirit has been swimming against the current, barely hanging on.
4th of July weekend has come and gone. Im feeling scatter brained, partied out, and abused.
On the brighter side of things tomorrow I leave with my husband for a week long vacation to ORCAS ISLAND WASHINGTON.Long awaited and totally deserved~

We are staying in an adorable cottage called "The Gnome House." I have decided we will have Gnome Names and will go by them the whole vacation! :)
I havent figured mine out yet, but I was thinking something like Twinkle Twigs. Eh? Eh?

LoL

Im quite stressed about everything coming together right now. We are taking our Mr Beau cat Stroller guy for the first time, so I'm like a nervous cat mom. We have some more grocery shopping to do tonight, and a few other errands and things to do around the house, Laundry, packing, and then we should be ready ready! We are planning on leaving tomorrow (Friday) about 6 or 7ish am I'm hoping.

I'm excited to be going on this vacation, because the timing couldn't have been better as far as REALLY needing to get away, and I'm also turning this into my own personal Yoga Retreat!! <3

I have had some set backs leading up to this, so I'm not as fit or ready as I wanted to be, but my heart and my mind are very ready for some real practice! My very own week long, yoga retreat in one of the most beautiful areas in my region! I'm getting goose bumps just thinking about the serenity!! Being away from everything and everyone, and not having to work as if Im a slave to my own life. Its going to be a wonderful trip of rejuvenation!

I researched Yoga studios at the San Juan's, and there looks to be at least one Studio per island. Orcas has a really neat looking studio called Orcas Mandala, I am hoping to check out at least one time.

http://www.orcasmandala.com/

Its the typical 15 for a drop in, so the price will probably only bring me in once, as we will want to have money for different things during the vacation too!

A fun side note:

I received my first YOGA JOURNAL magazine a couple weeks ago! I have been using my self control to save reading it for my trip!!
I also received my Yoga Non Slip socks, and they came as a 3 pack! I had no idea I would get 3 pairs for 10 dollars! That was a neat blessing. And they actually feel great. I thought they would feel terrible in between my toes, but they really do fit naturally and comfortably. And you certainly dont slip.

------

I wanted to share an experience I had basically the last time I did any yoga, which was about 2 weeks ago.

I was home alone after work, and the sun was shining into the family room while I went through my sun salutation. I listened to some calming but inspiring music, and as I was about to start again I stood in Mountain Pose and it was like, my heart took over, and a voice inside me said Let Go....Just Let Go, Let Go..... again and again, and I began to cry. I cried because I was happy, because I was sad, or have been sad. I cried because I was proud for finally doing something the person deep inside me wants me to do, I cried at the feeling of opening up, I cried because I was crying.
It opened me so wide and the sun just hugged me tight and let me be all the things I am.

It was a break through moment, and it felt amazing to say the least. I can only pray that ten thousand more moments like that may present themselves during my journey as a Yogini~

~~Namaste and Have a Beautiful Summer week!

"Yoga teaches us to cure what need not be endured and endure what cannot be cured."

-B.K.S. Iyengar

Quote

2010-06-25T11:54:00.000-07:00

"Prayer is when you talk to god, meditation is when god talks to you."

-Yogi Bhajan

YOGA BLOG #7

2010-06-23T09:33:00.000-07:00

(Anjaneyasana= Low Lunge)

WOW. Today is an AMaaaaazing, beautiful day outside. I slept terribly, because it was so unexpectedly warm in the bedroom, though I couldn't quite wake up to get out of my blanket snarls, to open the window and door, and get my socks off!
Buuuut Im not complaining! I'm happy some sunshine has finally made its way to the Pacific North West. Everyone was sure getting down on the lack of sun, and the energy has been reflecting that in a big way all around the region.

Today would have been an ideal morning to get up and do some yoga! Darn me. Perhaps tomorrow I can give it a go. I have been building my inspiration vault and getting surges of power, love, and courage. Saying no to bad habits little by little. It is not always easy, as if I'm fighting with a second person on the inside, reasoning, and reminding them what we want out of this body, and how important it really is.
You know...I love to share oddities that happen in my life. Because they sure seem to happen a lot in the form of dreams, psychic visions, and amazing connections.

Last night I was sort of meditating, thinking... And the word Ubiquitous came into my head, like a light bulb going on, just resonating there. Now I'm not a very well read person, I can hardly spell, so I had no idea why this word presented itself to me. Many people, I'm sure, would know right away the word.
Then a memory came to me about another silly time the VERY SAME word had come into my mind when I was a teenager in highschool, and I remember distinctly someone telling me I made it up and it was not a word and us kind of laughing about it.

So of course I had to go to the computer and look it up right away. But first, I asked my husband if he knew the meaning, just to see if this was a super common word and I was completely silly and just not realizing it. But he could not quite put anything together as to a meaning and is usually pretty awesome with the english language. I feel like there is a truth to find in these sort of things and I needed to find it.
Sure enough this word, this ssssound, or collection of symbols, had a meaning. A very interesting meaning indeed to someone who was just shown this word in a spiritual way.

–adjective existing or being everywhere, esp. at the same time; omnipresent

Now I personally would look at this as GOD. The all mighty everything saying hello in a solid, and fun way, directly to me.
That might sound totally nuts, but I believe you are in control of the thoughts that come and go in your mind. Its not always easy, and I myself happen to be extremely sponge like to others' thoughts and feelings, so I am at a constant working stage of trying to stick with my own vessel, but during a meditative stage, when I am shaping and growing my own thoughts and energies, and something like the Ubiquitous vision comes, it was definitely given to me from an out side source.

I would interpret it as encouragement, or reminder that god is love, and this love is everywhere all at once ready to tap into. All of life's connection.

:) So I just wanted to share. Its interesting to see these sort of thoughts written down. It holds deeper meaning for me now, just thinking more about it, and reading my own words.
Keep your eyes, ears, and spirit open for signs, messages, and love.

On a side note, when I say we are in control of all our thoughts, I did not always feel that way. My mind used to skip around like an old radio from station to station.... all kind of energies, thoughts, feelings, coming in from everywhere. More often than not, ugly dark visions, just awful and unbearable really. It was very confusing and frustrating where these sort of things were coming from. But at that time, I would watch terrible movies, hang around iffy people, eat terribly, and just never respected myself enough. Not until I was able to brake down and find source, and start asking questions, was I able to release those dark channels, and find the all flowing, channel of love. And from there, I started naturally making better decisions. There has been much inner work involved, meditation, but my life has been getting better and better ever since.
You don't have to let those dark thoughts in, because once you know Love and Light, you will find there is no place for darkness, and you will shine from the inside out!

So I would suggest stopping negative thinking right away, pushing it far out of your realm, and letting loving, awesome thoughts in, about yourself, your family, nature, art, and just overall happiness. That's where the work comes in, easier said than done of course. Just like our Yoga, the more you practice the better and easier it becomes. There are those days you don't feel like moving at all, uninspired until you practice... and then TAA DAAA.... you are feeling energized, happy, and glad you did it. Same goes for meditation on love, dispelling negative energy. No matter how down, or rough it is, just keep searching for that positive outlet. Positive feelings. Love and Light by your side, pumping through you.

"Alchemy is accomplished by changing the frequency of thought,
altering the harmonics of matter and applying the elements of Love to create the desired result." --Jim Self

____________________________________________________

YOGA BLOG #7 Part 2

So last Thursday, the 17th my husband and I decided to take the cat for a late evening stroll in his new Cat Stroller. Yes I said Cat Stroller!! :P
Beau is our most friendly cat, that wants to b e every place we are, when ever we are...so thats why I thought the stroller would be just a really fun thing for him. And so far it has been. He LOVES it!! He practically sleeps in it at all times when hes not out exploring, or eating. He also jumps right in when its time to go for a walk. Its adorable!

We walked around the neighborhood, and the n up to the local church park. Pushed him into a green grassy field, and I thought it would be a good idea to open it up to let Beau maybe, sniff, explore, just to kind of see what he would do. Basically because we are traveling to Orcas Island in July, which is his first trip. Jarrod suggested against opening it up, but I opened it anyways, just because I had to know how he would react.

OF COURSE....he bolted! He hopped out stood there for 5 seconds then went full blast towards the giant scary field of tall grass that goes up to my chest!
Not far behind him I went shooting after him full speed!! Then...BAM!...rolling on the ground. Jarrod comes running, "Oh Katie what happened?!!?"
"I don't know! Just grab the cat!"
Beau only ran like 5 yards then stopped. I should have known that's what he would do. Just to mess with me, that is his naughty cat style!
As I was running I hit a very grassy disguised pot hole and went down. I lay there just trying to breath through it, I had no idea if something was broken, ankle, foot or other wise.
It was just pounding, so I waited it out. No tears, just breathing. We got Mr. Beau back into his stroller, and I had to wobble all the way home on my foot. Jarrod asked me "do you need me to carry you?" I laughed and said shut up! I'm significantly bigger than hubby, and he would have been more injured than me, trying to carry me home! lol But it was cute.
I got home, got my shoe off, and the pain re ally started to kick in. I put it up with some ice, took some advil, and was hoping to forget about it, and be healed by morning.
No such luck. I got up at about 6 am to use the restroom and realized I couldn't put any pressure on it. I also was painfully aware of it all night, so I had a terrible nights sleep. With no crutches, or insurance to see a doc, I took the day off, and just iced it up, and rested. Luckily my sister had some crutches she dropped off for me, because hopping on one leg was really irritating my left knee.

Basically I hurt the bottom part of my foot in front of the heel/ball, and the whole outer side of my foot. I have long feet, size 9/10, and basically hit that pot hole with the back half of my foot and went down side ways. So it didnt appear to be broken, I could rotate my ankle, and it didn't turn black and blue.

Saturday I woke up early, did some naked stretches, and guided meditation in the morning light. ( which I must say is a new fascination of mine. Being naked, looking at myself, and parts naked, especially during yoga. Its so interesting to discover ones own body!!!)
Later Jarrod came out and joined me, which is a nice change of pace, because he usually sleeps until I wake him up. I get kind of lonely, waiting on him to start the day together.
So he came out and I asked him to join me, and since I was naked it was easy. haha
We sat together through a guided chakra meditation, and then it turned into a nice, naked, sensual stretch and cuddle. It was really one of the most intimate moments we had shared in a long time.
I surely would love to do more of that!

(Our waves of nakedness and love laying next to each other)

The weekend pushed on, and my foot got a little better and better. I am now without crutches, or a brace, to hold it steady after 6 days. If I have no shoes or socks on and set it flat, I still feel pain, a bit of a sting. Still taking it easy, and working on stretching the foot, working it out. I was able to do some slow paced yoga on my own last night.

The bright side to all of this, is that I hurt m y right foot, and my left leg/foot got a heck of a work out as my primary post! Building strength like you cant do, with 2 working legs! I also worked some new muscles in my right front shin oddly enough.

Hopefully I am all healed soon, because I would like to take a class at a local studio for some variety. Also because I love the energy of being in a room with a bunch of fellow Yogis. <3

Be safe, Be Happy.

Namaste~

YOGA BLOG #6

2010-06-16T09:41:00.000-07:00

I have really been enjoying my Yoga lately. Not just on the mat, but away from the mat I am noticing big changes in the way my body is feeling for the better. It seems to be easier to do small physical tasks. Just getting up from the ground, or reaching for something feels far more effortless, and comfortable. I'm feeling more energetic, and I want to sit nice and tall in chairs all of a sudden, compared to my usual slouch.
I'm beginning to feel a NEED to stretch, and reach, and move. If I'm sitting next to my husband on the couch watching a show, I cant help but ooze down to the floor for some yummy back stretches!

I practice yoga in the evening, and still haven't brought myself to wake up early in the mornings before work yet. Haha It will come! Give it time. A little sunshine shining in in the morning would sure be nice and helpful! This pacific northwest rain sure makes for some good sleeping in! :)

As for the actual yoga itself, just like I have read, the poses seem to come more and more naturally. I feel like I am able to focus on deepening the pose, versus just trying to watch and mimic. Im starting to become more familiar with the poses, like new friends.

When I start my practice its like I'm waking up! I carry my head around all day at work, in the car, then home like its just heavy and barely floating along, but when I start my yoga, my head suddenly is attached to a body. MY BODY!! Like my soul suddenly poured down into the rest of me and now I have, shoulders, and toes, and a stomach!! Where before, I could only see these things, but was not familiar or attached to them.

I find myself looking forward to new videos with new poses. Each one seems to be a key to unlocking new stretches and amazing feelings in my whole body.
Lately I have been really enjoying a slow paced video, "Yoga for Flexibility."
I really like opening my hips up! A little bit of the chip on my shoulder seems to break away the deeper I go. I also dont think I ever thought that stretching something like my legs would help me breath better, but it does! My breath has been getting longer, and as an herbal smoker, I am finding the feeling of longer, deeper breaths much more satisfying than the ease that smoking brings me! So Yoga has in turn, helped me cut back on a habit I would like to let go of all together. Still working on it!

(yawwwwwwwwwwwwwwn)

So yesterday I tried something fairly new. I have a Wii, and I got the Wii Fit Plus and board for Christmas last year, but haven't really done much with it.

http://wiifit.com

Its very cute, and I love how it keeps track of calories burned, and weight loss, with goals etc.
There are little exercises for balance, calorie burning, annnnnd YOGA!

This was pretty much my first time full out going through some of the postures with the Wii Fit Balance Board. Im not really sure how I feel about it yet. I was not enjoying how the poses felt with one foot, or hand, on the board about 1 inch off the ground. It was kind of awkward. It may have been because I had socks on.
What I DID enjoy, is that while you are doing yoga poses, or balance exercises, you can manage your balance right in front of you on the screen, with a dot that needs to stay inside of the zone. You are able to shift your weight to the proper place, where normally practicing alone, I might not be doing it correctly.
You also have a cute animated instructor (male or female) who walks you through the poses, which you can follow from a front or behind view, which is pretty neat.
I read that you can also create your own vinyasa to follow along to, but haven't quite gotten there yet. Mostly I was familiarizing myself with the "game." I will keep everyone posted about the progression of that in the future.

Namste Fellow yoga-ers <3

"Yoga is the perfect opportunity to be curious about who you are." ~Jason Crandell

Just for Laughs!

2010-06-10T14:22:00.000-07:00

http://www.lexiyoga.com/games/sex-or-yoga

Yoga Blog #5

2010-06-10T12:50:00.000-07:00

(My first ever picture of me doing yoga)
Downward Facing Dog = Adho Mukha Svanasana

Started my day off with some A.M. Yoga. Actually woke up early, got my buns into gear, and got out to the family room for a little yoga set. It made me feel really good inside, and proud. I have been setting my alarm to get up early before work, to do yoga for DAYS now, and just resetting it to keep sleeping, then feeling bummed about my lack of gusto later. So hopefully waking up early will become a real habit! (changes for the better one step at a time!)

I am far from really loving doing yoga poses with flow (vinyasa's) on my own, so I have been going to HULU.COM, and watching the free yoga videos they have there. I really feel that I need instruction right now. It helps me focus on my breathing, body, and just enjoying myself overall. Hulu has short sets, long sets, and sets that focus on one area of the body like the tummy.
I have a favorite video so far I have been working with. When you go to HULU.COM put in key words "AM YOGA" and it should come right up. A nice, easy, but toning, vinyasa with Meaghan Townsend. I really enjoy her sweet demeanor, and the comfort of the poses she has put together. It can be daunting for me when a video is 30-45 min, so its nice to start small with her 10 minute set, and it goes so fast, you can just do it a couple more times, and before you know it, you just did 30 minutes of exercise! Very nice.
You can search through videos on the Hulu channel "Yoga Zone," for a variety of other videos.
There are actually a lot of exercise videos on Hulu to check out. Pilates, and strength training, etc. And they are FREEEEEEEE!! :)

(yawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwn)

I hope everyone is having a great day, and you find inspiration to do that thing you have been wanting to do for yourself lately!

"A photographer gets people to pose for him. A yoga instructor gets people to pose for themselves. " -T. Guillemets

YOGA BLOG #4

2010-06-09T16:35:00.001-07:00

Okay, so sometimes if I do cardio before I do some yoga, and then I take my socks and tennishoes off, I have clammy feet, and it can be difficult to do certain poses. My feet start to go sliding while I'm in downward dog, and that is no good!
I came across something called Yoga Socks. They come in many forms, but the basic idea is socks with non-slip grip on the bottom, but with a bare foot feeling, so you can still feel grounded in your practice.

http://www.a3bs.com/pilates-accessories/yoga-stick-e-socks-w47150s,p_928_929_0_0_15549.html

I ordered this very pair. Though I found them for only 10 dollars at Walmart.com, with site to store free shipping.

I wont be getting them for about a couple weeks, but I am VERY curious about them. I have never been a big fan of the feeling of "toe socks," so I am just not sure.

We'll see!! :D

" Better slip with foot than tongue. " -Benjamin Franklin

YOGA BLOG # 3

2010-06-02T13:36:00.000-07:00

Happy Day! 3 Nights spent at the beach, followed by a 3 day work week! Blessed be~

Unfortunately I was not able to take a yoga class at Angel Gardens in Long Beach WA., while I was visiting, due to the lack of a regular teacher. But, they were so kind as to offer up the studio to me, for a small donation, so I could get my work-out in, but I passed and decided to just do yoga at my motel room. I already had a great view, and free is a very good price for a budget friendly lady like myself! :D

BABY STEPS~

I think everyone operates very differently when learning something, especially when trying to find that knowledge on your own. As I'm starting to become more interested in Yoga, and getting my practice in full swing, I find myself at a loss for a big part of the study, which is the language. So far, as we practice, yoga teachers do the pose, but say the name of that pose sometimes in English, and sometimes in the native language, I believe its called Sanskrit. This doesn't confuse me, but I wish there was some focus on the name of the pose. It seems so interesting, and just beautiful to pronounce, say, hear.

I searched the internet for some kind of printable source, that had the pose being done visually, with the Sanskrit name, as well as the English name listed, for my learning benefit, and had a tough time finding something. (which I thought was kind of silly with all the yoga hype all over the place online!) Finally I came across a web page, basically dedicated to what I was looking for!

http://www.yogacards.com/yoga-pose-cards.html

They are printable cards with poses on them you can cut out and put into different sequences. Also having the English and Sanskrit name listed to help with proper name usage. They are a bit smaller than I would have wanted, but I am just happy I found something! Very helpful.

This got me going on a Yoga journal for home, to keep all my printed, helpful tools, and web pages I dont want to forget etc., collected in one place. Gotta keep it organized and simple! Any clutter at all, might clutter the energy of my yoga-thoughts and practice.

" Yoga is invigoration in relaxation. Freedom in routine. Confidence through self control. Energy within and energy without. " -Ymber Delecto

Conscious Love and Living

My Feet Hurt

The Energy on The Winds has Changed

Yogi Critic

Challenge and Choices

A Happy Camper

Make Dreams a Reality

From this Breath Until the Last

Contented

Yin Yoga Meditation | All Levels

Attitude of Gratitude

Into the Light

The Happenings of a Lady Kady.

Change with The Winds

gickr.com animation

Honor The Sun Within

The Motivation Point

Let the Troubled Seas Part

Love Yourself

Angus And Julia Stone - Big Jet Plane

Soup Status

Gettting Good-er

Hatha Flow | Level 1

Snow Day

Awesome feelings feel awesome.

Try Try Again

YOGA BLOG #16 (updates, hopes, and changes)

YOGA BLOG #15 (Trying a new studio)

SPIRIT BLOG

‎"If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere." - Frank A.

YOGA BLOG #14 (Learning about MUDRAS)

SICK

Spirit Blog

Spirit Blog

SPIRIT BLOG (someone had to stack them there)

YOGA BLOG #13 (finding help)

Spirit Blog

Spirit Blog

For nature, it is a time of sowing, of scattering abroad."

- Edwin Way Teale

Love good news

Perfect idea.

Orcas Island Vacation Pictures 2010

Gravity Free~

YOGA BLOG #12 (Tids and Bits)

A Little Laugh

How many Zen buddhists does it take to change a light bulb?

None, they are the light bulb!

Yoga Blog #11 (a whole lotta nuthin)

Friday!

Yoga Blog #10 (Enlighten Up)

YOGA BLOG #9 (back from vacation)

YOGA BLOG #8

Quote

YOGA BLOG #7

u·biq·ui·tous

YOGA BLOG #6

Just for Laughs!

Yoga Blog #5

YOGA BLOG #4

YOGA BLOG # 3